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Abel to Yzerman

Little Girls and Hurt Feelings and California Sensitivity

So I called a guy an 11-year-old girl.  What’s wrong with that?  He whined like one, got all “emotional”.  He came back at me with some good stuff we’ll get to, and analyze, in a bit. So all’s well. But, man, then the tree huggers chimed in.  Men with names like “Ian” and “Toby” and “Angela”.  I thought we’d opened up A2Y to the cast of the OC. 

Oh, we’ll address their sensitivities in a bit too.  But first we need to address something. Something very important.

No, I don’t think the Wings are going to lose this series.  And, no, I don’t think it’s going 7 games.

Do the Sharks scare me?  Yes.  Yes they do.  They scare me, Ian.  See? I’m “mature” enough to admit it.  I’m not sobbing, so don’t feel some sort of kinship.  But it is a frightening prospect.  I gave them a label a few months ago, and I liked it. It fit.  The Team We Don’t Speak Of.  But that was before The Redemption. That was pre-awakening.  That was prior to the gaining of sackage.  And now?  Oh…in a minute. 

First, our boys at Shaved Ice.  I like a blogger war during the playoffs.  It spices things up and it keeps me witty.  I like me witty.  I don’t like me slow and sluggish.  So we kicked one off last night, an opening salvo, a shot across the bow, if you will.  Yes, I called DWSharks an 11-year-old little whining emotional girl who’d had her blankey and Hillary Duff posters stolen all in one fell swoop.  I did it and I’m proud of it.

But I’m proud of DW for firing back.  I like that.  Effective?  Nah. But he’ll improve as he learns from us.  He took a good tact though.  Effective to an extent.  As he rebutted our claims that Californians are a little on the light-footed side of things, he threw in some “expert opinion.”  Check it out.

But, see, there’s a problem.  All the “experts” were ESPN “experts”, from Bucci to Cohn to Hradek to Melrose to Burnside.  Linda Cohn picking against the Wings?  Shudder.  Melrose?  Shocking, considering that’s been his pasttime for a decade.  Bucci?  Ahhh…nice guy and a great fan of hockey, so that hurts.  But, never considered anything but a fan with a passion for hockey and a medium to express it. 

And plus…we’ve been there DW.  Let me remind you.

StrachanTed The Tool MontgomeryProteau and Campbell from the Hockey News.  All picked, yes, Calgary in the first round. 

Because the Wings are soft, right?  Is that still the line out there?  Still the crutch, the alibi, the easy pick?

Good.  Prediction: the Wings will outhit San Jose in every game this series.

And on what basis did I create The Team We Don’t Speak Of?  Well, the 11 PP goals in two games…of course.  I still get a little queezy thinking of those episodes, almost like a native Californian with a domestic beer in front of them.  Frightening.  Yes, I still have bad visions of those games.  But, I’m also heartened to know this:  Joey MacDonald and Chris Osgood are not Dominik Hasek.  Is San Jose’s power play potent? Potentially, possibly, perhaps.  But not lately.

2-30.  6.7 percent.  Dangerous.

The Wings? Not much better as we know, at 13 percent.  But we pick and choose our points here at A2Y and my point is that the SJ PP is not as intimidating as it was back in the exhibition season (oct-apr).

But, I’ll admit this:  Thornton scares me.  Lidstrom will have his hands full.  Guerin does not.  Marleau does.  That defense does not.  That goalie does.  That coach doesn’t.  That crowd does.  Ian and Toby don’t.  You guys better pick it up. 

And, no, I’d never heard or read of the word “epigenetic”.  I’ve got to hand it to the A2Y regulars today.  From epigenetic to suspended testicles to quick turnarounds on idiotic GAA references (Calgary’s G/G was 1.7 and that’s supposed to make US look bad?), to completely childish and hilarious jabs at anyone with a name like “Ian” or “Toby”.  Man…bringing those guys back up in conversation?  Guaranteed.  That one’s got legs brother.

So, we’ve got ourselves a little blogger friction, with a lot of humor and all of it with still two days until the puck drops.  Nice.  From what I can see, the Sharks have acquitted themselves with a nice little corps of characters in their little lefty paradise out west.  Should make for a fun series.

Which the Wings will win in 6 games.  Why? 

Because it’s the season to exorcise some demons.  Calgary.  San Jose.  Anaheim.  New Jersey.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com