Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

LB: When Facing A Sasquatch Try And Keep Your Head On Your Shoulders

In a recent survey of NHL players, Chris Pronger was voted the dirtiest player in the league.  A survey of the 19 would likely have the same result.

The same survey did not ask who the whiniest player in the NHL.  After winning with 52% of the vote (44% more than second place), Sidney Rosby shed a tear.  People just don’t understand his emo mood swings.

Sitting with 92 points, the Flyers are in 8th place and in a battle for their playoff lives in the Eastern Conference.  Wait that’s 82 points.  Silly me.  I should have known that a few dozen points and some pocket lint are enough to make the playoffs in the East where defensive structure is only a rumour.

The Wings are facing a double threat when they play the Flyers this afternoon.  The Flyers are desperate to make the playoffs and will play hard today.  The second threat is the ever present reality that Sasquatch will decide to decapitate a Wings player using his special Pronger Fissix.

These threats are what Ozzie will have to overcome since his first start since roughly the sweet little eight-pounder’s birthday.

The Wings were unsuccessful in gaining 5th place last night. 

Today, with either a WIN or Li’l Gary’s bonus point, the Wings will clinch a playoff berth for the 19th consecutive season.  19 is a good number.  The Wings won’t disappoint.

If they played like they did yesterday, they’ll WIN the game.  You may be scratching your head, and other body parts, at that statement.  Trust me, the Flyers don’t have the defensive acumen that Bubba showed last night.  Uncle Mike’s smartest move in the Olympics was benching the Sasquatch early and often.  Today we’ll be reminded why.

After seven consecutive WINS, something had to give.  Unfortunately it was against Bubba, but the Wings still have a couple of games in hand as Bubba has fewer games and teeth than we do.

The Wings will make it happen.  They will reach 5th place, there is no chance of us finishing behind Bubba in the division.  The sweet adorable eight pounder won’t allow it.

Our next WINNING streak begins today.  Ozzie gets to show us his STFU switch and the Wings show us they will make a mockery of the teams in the East, even if a Sasquatch is roaming the blue line.

Let’s Go Red Wings!!!!!

WIN

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com