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Abel to Yzerman

Kenny’s Critical Days Of Summer: A Fan’s Perspective

There is no question in my mind that the next thirty days are going to define Ken Holland’s tenure as GM of the Greatest Franchise in Sports.  There’s never been a greater need, with more (post-Gary’s Cap) money to spend…blah, blah, blah. 

Bring us Suter and bring us Parise and I’m starting to think Semin, Schultz and Garrison. 

I want all five, or at least four, as long as the four include the first two.

I do believe Tim Panaccio when he said yesterday that a “source” told him Ryan Suter wants to stay in the Western Conference. Why would he lie?  Why make something like that, of all things, up?  And now his agent denies that?  Well. Yeah. Why would he limit his potential leverage by fifteen teams? Yes, I’m sure the agent’s telling the truth. Because they all do.

But don’t believe the “source”.  And stop your fretting, by god.  It’s not healthy.

Yeah? Well, fretting’s what I do and I do it a lot.  It literally sickens me. It makes me physically ill to consider what happens if Parise signs with, say, Chicago. And don’t think for a second that they’re not looking at ways to do it.  I consider the possibility of Suter signing in, throw a team out there….San Jose. And I can feel the tantrum starting around my calves. 

Is it because those teams will be that much better? Yes.  I don’t want them to succeed and I certainly don’t want their fans to be happy.  But it’s more than that and sometimes we have real trouble explaining it, you and I.  I absolutely dread July 1st because I’ve been through all the trade deadlines when Kenny’s “stood pat” and the frustration is disgusting.  It’s horrific because we can’t control it. We can’t stop it.

If Ryan Suter stays in Nashville, then he’s not the player we want in Detroit.  Because that team’s not going to win a Stanley Cup.  Not now. Not ever.  If they couldn’t do it this year, or come a lot closer than they did, they’re not gonna do it. 

If Ryan Suter or Zach Parise sign in Minnesota, they’re telling the world they’re looking for a very small comfort zone that doesn’t include winning a Cup.  Little Josh Cooper says Suter’s a “small town boy”. Really? Last I heard he was a professional athlete who plays hockey to, yeah, make money but also to, you know, win a motherfuching Stanley Cup.  Is that too emotional? I’m sorry.  “Sigh.”

You want a Cup, boys? Hockeytown Awaits.  Minnesota? Really? You go there you’re telling the world winning isn’t your top priority and that’s a fact.  If the Wild offer you 10 and you could have 9 in Detroit, with a guaranteed legitimate shot at the Cup every year for the next 7, you’re gonna take Minnesota? 

If so…do it.  And waste away.

And the rumors? I frigging DIG the rumors. I love them. I’d read them all day, as long as I don’t have to pay a lounge singer to provide them.  I’m a fan and I’m so far from being above that shit it’s not even funny. I’ll wallow in the gutter and sniff out every frigging seedy, perverted rumor I can find.  I’ll believe every one and I’m gonna start posting them too…just because if you think I’m gonna suffer alone for the next two weeks? Well, then you don’t know me as well as you thought.

I’m no frigging journalist. I’m a reactionary, bitches.  I want Parise. I want Suter. And I want Schultz, Garrison and Semin. And I don’t care if it’s realistic, dammit. Ken Holland is paid and paid well to give me dreams like that on a platter.  He’s Willy Frigging Wonka. He can do it because he’s a wizard.  And now he’s a Wizard with a lot of money at his disposal. There is literally no reason he should not land them both, if both show an interest in Detroit. 

And I want my damn Cup back. 

Parise. Suter.  If they leave stinky NJ and shithole Nashville they’d better be in Detroit.  And soon.  It’s the Summer’s decree and Kenny knows it.  Tick. Tock.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

Leo_Racicot's avatar

And I want my damn Cup back. 

Hell yeah, Chief. This entire post says it all.

Posted by Leo_Racicot on 06/15/12 at 01:57 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Out-friggin-standing, Master Chief.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 06/15/12 at 02:07 PM ET

Chris in Hockey Hell's avatar

Chief, get outta my head. GET OUTTA MY HEAD!!

Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from Ann Arbor, MI but LIVING in Columbia, TN on 06/15/12 at 02:18 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I’m a fan and I’m so far from being above that shit it’s not even funny. I’ll wallow in the gutter and sniff out every frigging seedy, perverted rumor I can find.  I’ll believe every one and I’m gonna start posting them too…just because if you think I’m gonna suffer alone for the next two weeks? Well, then you don’t know me as well as you thought.

I’m no frigging journalist. I’m a reactionary, bitches.  I want Parise. I want Suter. And I want Schultz, Garrison and Semin. And I don’t care if it’s realistic, dammit. Ken Holland is paid and paid well to give me dreams like that on a platter.

And I want my damn Cup back.

Thanks Master Chief. You left out the, I am a Wingaholic. As are all of the 19 of us reactionary bitches. Gimme my fuching Cup!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!! In ’13

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 06/15/12 at 02:21 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

And I want some fuggin’ Animal Style French Fries.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 06/15/12 at 02:38 PM ET

ludmeister's avatar

And while we’re at it, I want Rick Nash too. 

A first line of Datsyuk, Nash and Parise?  And then throw together a second line of Zetterberg, Filppula, and Franzen out there?  An energy line with a healthy Helm, Eaves and Miller?  And that leaves a third scoring line with these options: Cleary, Abdelkader, and Nyquist, Bertuzzi, and Mursak.  That would be sick.  But mostly, I think Datsyuk/Nash/Parise would tear. up. the. league.

And yes.  I am serious.  Get your grubby hands off my dream. grin

Posted by ludmeister from Kentucky on 06/15/12 at 02:45 PM ET

Avatar

I’d read them all day, as long as I don’t have to pay a lounge singer to provide them.

classic, almost spit my drink out

Posted by puckeye on 06/15/12 at 02:57 PM ET

Ducksworth's avatar

Sounds good to me!  grin  cool smile

Posted by Ducksworth from Brownstown, MI on 06/15/12 at 02:57 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Damage control reports sinking blueline, and need for a top 6 forward.

Holland must land either Parise or Suter (with Suter being the more important need), in order to maintain his status as top GM.

Obviously, if he lands both, break out the champagne of beers. I’d wager those are long odds however.

Master Chief is right though - - this off-season could come to define Holland’s legacy.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 06/15/12 at 03:01 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I also want some rhubarb strawberry pie.

Warm.

On ice cream.

Vanilla.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 06/15/12 at 03:08 PM ET

Vladimir16's avatar

*clapping hands loudly*

Posted by Vladimir16 from Grand River Valley on 06/15/12 at 04:23 PM ET

jimp19's avatar

Love the Nashville wont win the Cup comments…  LOL I’m sure Chris in Hockey Hell gets as sick of the local fan base as I do.  I’m starting to like the possibility of Garrison taking Stuarts spot,  hope he’s not a one year wonder.

Posted by jimp19 from Nashville on 06/15/12 at 04:35 PM ET

Chris in Hockey Hell's avatar

I’m sure Chris in Hockey Hell gets as sick of the local fan base as I do.

Yes. Yes I do.

Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from Ann Arbor, MI but LIVING in Columbia, TN on 06/15/12 at 04:52 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

I would feel a lot better if I knew this rant was taking place in the Ilitch Family offices, by a little old man with fire in his eyes and office supplies in his hands that he’s been chucking at Holland’s head ever since he found out Lidstrom ‘s retiring. 

I want to hear “I want my damn Cup back!” reverberating up and down the corridors at Little Caesars Headquarters, as another stapler gets buried in the drywall next to Ken’s trembling shoulders.

Posted by Hootinani on 06/15/12 at 05:23 PM ET

Chris in Hockey Hell's avatar

as another stapler gets buried in the drywall next to Ken’s trembling shoulders

Hopefully it would be a red Swingline stapler, because it binds less.

Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from Ann Arbor, MI but LIVING in Columbia, TN on 06/15/12 at 05:32 PM ET

Avatar

What if part of the Wings’ pitch to Parise is Gordie Howe giving his blessing to bring #9 down out of the rafters for Parise to wear? Just throwin’ it out there…

Posted by Eric H. on 06/15/12 at 07:42 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Parise wouldn’t expect that. He’s that kind of guy.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 06/15/12 at 08:14 PM ET

Avatar

and I want my damn Cup back

And thus, I have the slogan for the next 11.5 months of my life.

Posted by AppState from NC on 06/15/12 at 11:45 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

I don’t think Parise would take the number 9 if he came here. Hell in my beer league I won’t wear any of the retired Wing numbers out of respect except for 19 as a tribute to you bitches.

Get it done Kenny.We still trust you for now.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 06/16/12 at 01:02 AM ET

The Hurricane's avatar

3 way trade with Parise going to Columbus….I want Rick Nash.

Posted by The Hurricane on 06/16/12 at 01:51 AM ET

Avatar

We do not want Rick Nash. I promise you. Please. No Rick Nash.

Posted by the barney from COLUMBUS, OH on 06/16/12 at 02:37 AM ET

Avatar

1-I don’t ever want to hear again how “great” Nashville’s management team is.  They have made horrific decisions as of late: insulting Weber with that 4.5MM contract, sitting the two Russians for 2 critical games and not locking up Suter long ago.

2-Is it likely that several top shelf ufa’s pull off a Fab Five deal and thereby creating a poor man’s 2002 championship team? 

3- I like Semin.  Two reasons why Semin won’t be lazy-Datsyuk’s work ethic and team leadership style and commitment leve. Also, I don’t think Semin will shit on the all-world legacy of the Russian 5. He shits on these guys and even Russians will turn him away.

The Summer of Ken - awesome moniker.  Here is mine: Operation Return to Glory.

Posted by beelza on 06/16/12 at 03:51 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

No Nash. I said it last season in the midst of all the crazy talk. We can do better.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!! In ‘13

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 06/16/12 at 10:27 AM ET

Primis's avatar

We do not want Rick Nash. I promise you. Please. No Rick Nash.

Posted by the barney from COLUMBUS, OH on 06/16/12 at 01:37 AM ET

If it comes down to it and there aren’t really other options… yes we do.  We need additional scoring and we apparently aren’t going to get it form Bertuzzi, Cleary, or Fil.

Posted by Primis on 06/16/12 at 12:16 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Now it’s right. Or very very wrong.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 06/16/12 at 02:46 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Dammit Herm.  I need a son.  Fast.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 06/16/12 at 02:49 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

tick ...

tock ...

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 06/16/12 at 03:49 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

J O N A S   B R O T H E R S ! ! !

HERM YOU MAGNFICENT BASTARD


HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now, if it were One Republic, I could Dig that!

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 06/16/12 at 06:17 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Dammit Herm.  I need a son.  Fast.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 06/16/12 at 01:49 PM ET

Maybe you should get the go ahead from Mrs.Master Chief.

And, Happy Father’s Day, Master Chief, and to all the Dads of the 19.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!! In ’13

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 06/17/12 at 10:44 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Chief help me, i am fuching wasted at my daughters place of employment listening to a korean and vietnam veteran talk about the old days.  Somehow i found the pisser.  God i am wasted watching the surf.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 06/17/12 at 04:02 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

There are some things that transcend our mundane lives, like meeting someone who served in both the Korean and Vietnam Wars on a random Fathers Day.  Thank you John and the thousands like you.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 06/17/12 at 04:54 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Hopefully it would be a red Swingline stapler, because it binds less.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Chief help me, i am fuching wasted at my daughters place of employment listening to a korean and vietnam veteran talk about the old days.  Somehow i found the pisser.  You signing renewing and using ink for a name with paper? God i am wasted watching the surf.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 06/17/12 at 09:27 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

HA(!), Kenny should think seriously about signing Justin Verlander, just for his attitude:

“We could use a little bit of an edge,” he said. “I just don’t think we quite have that mentality yet, when you have somebody down, step on their throat. When we get a couple run lead, I just want to bury them, make them feel like there’s no hope.”

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 06/19/12 at 12:32 PM ET

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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com