Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Kenny?  What Now? We’re Gonna Live Blog While You Consider Giving Abby’s Number To…Shhhhh

I'm pretty sure that when the shit got considerably real whenever the last offseason was, I demanded that Kenny Holland sign Alexander Semin to a one-year ten million dollar deal. Because I know what I'm doing. I know hockey and I watch NHL On The Fly now because we get the NHL Network on the ship and plus I read everything HockeyInHD writes and he's a pharmacist of the most redolent order.

When was that...the actual "offseason"? Last summer?  Laura and Mary Ingalls had pranced off to Walnut Grove and the Stress Train was swaying.  It was a drunken, troubling, bodacious time. 

And I know I told Tick Tock that many millions needed to be spent on Semin because our boy Pavel would reform him, inspire the willowy lad with the tender sensitivities.

In a roundabout way, we signed Damien Brunner instead.  Brunner's got 10 goals. Semin ("he's the SNIPER WE NEED KENNY") has 4 in Carolina.  Brunner's making less than 2.  Semin's pulling in 7 million.

Somebody is a professional GM. Someone else is a nimrod who likes to type.

And the Diggers are getting ballsy.  Actually, sit down, discussing trade possibiities. Almost unheard of without organ-I-zational permission.

Who would have thought we'd have excess defensemen?  Well, re-phrase...because the Lions have excess defensive backs but they all suck ass so it really doesn't matter.  Try this: who would have thought our blue line would look pretty good and we'd still have defensemen to spare if the right deal came along?

Not me.  Sheeeeeeiiiit.  Not you either, smart guy. Nope.  But now we do and the wheels are turning somewhere.  So, when you've got one team with a few extra decent (and relatively cheap) d-men...well, you start wondering what might  be done to increase the chances of, you know, a Stanley Fuching Cup.

And when you have another team with a superstar whose talent is truly sublime (in all my years of life I've never actually typed or said the word "sublime"...I think I used it right but in keeping with tradition you can stick that dictionary all the way up your St. Louis tail pipe because I'm not looking it up).

I can't help it. I just can't.  Capgeek says we have like 13 million to spend if we made a deal today, 32 at the deadline. 

I'll just say it: Ovechkin is 28. He makes 10 million...but over like 20 years (actually...gulp...13). He's one of the top 5 most talented players in hockey.  Datsyuk would have dramatic effect on him.  I'm gonna type this really fast so that you can forget it right after you read it but Kenny Holland should consider trading any one of our defensemen except for Nick Kronwall plus some picks and like a Tatar or a Nyquist and let the Caps keep some of that salary if it's even allowed in this CBA...for Ovechkin. There. I said it.  Disregard. I literally feel filthy right now. Stupid. Idiotic idea. Fiscally suicidal. Do it Kenny. Kidding. Horrible suggestion. Seriously, though. Consider it. K. Thanks.

It's an early-starting Live Blog, bitches.  I'm sorry for last night. I take full responsibility.  I won't mention any of JFH's shutouts ever again. Ever.

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Comments

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Yzersyuk's avatar

That was some WORK by Brunner.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 03/01/13 at 12:40 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

I’m on Windows 8, 64-bit with EIGHT i7 processors.

Should gone with the dual carbs on the Hemi…..

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 03/01/13 at 12:41 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Too much time in the Wings end.

Too.Much.Time.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 03/01/13 at 12:42 AM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Da Faq Cleary.. you could have went in an additional 20 feet!

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 03/01/13 at 12:42 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Should gone with the dual carbs on the Hemi…..

Posted by Rumbear from the Top O the Hasek, stop looking at me…... on 03/01/13 at 12:41 AM ET

Aye, and a 454 big-block would just as well.

Holy fuch, I love Miller’s line.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 03/01/13 at 12:43 AM ET

calquake's avatar

Da Faq Cleary.. you could have went in an additional 20 feet!

But it would have taken him another 15 seconds to do it.

Posted by calquake on 03/01/13 at 12:43 AM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Hey hey hey I resemble that remark. At least I had a spinnorama shot hitting the goalie in the crest of course wink

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 03/01/13 at 12:44 AM ET

RorSchach's avatar

True.. But still..

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 03/01/13 at 12:44 AM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

ya maybe dont try the basic slapshot from that far out with no screen on the well positioned goalie.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 03/01/13 at 12:44 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Hey hey hey I resemble that remark. At least I had a spinnorama shot hitting the goalie in the crest of course

classic Drapes, eh?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/01/13 at 12:44 AM ET

calquake's avatar

Hey hey hey I resemble that remark. At least I had a spinnorama shot hitting the goalie in the crest of course wink

Which you learned from watching Chris Draper.

Posted by calquake on 03/01/13 at 12:45 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Oh and look at that.  Horse’s Ass taking sooooooo fuching long to get back to help defensively.  Right now, I’d trade that equinic POS to the Lames for Iginla straight up.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 03/01/13 at 12:45 AM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Huge-Monster!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 03/01/13 at 12:46 AM ET

SK77's avatar

What the hell was that save all about…

Posted by SK77 on 03/01/13 at 12:46 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

I understand why the Wings look tired.  It’s almost 1:00 AM. What is the Sharts excuse?

Somebody step up and wrangle hog tie this bitch!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 03/01/13 at 12:46 AM ET

calquake's avatar

Thirty years from now people will ask what was Draper known for?  And most will know the answer.

Posted by calquake on 03/01/13 at 12:46 AM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Yes Damn Drapes. grin

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 03/01/13 at 12:46 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

or

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 03/01/13 at 12:47 AM ET

SK77's avatar

Brunner has been on fire tonight.

Posted by SK77 on 03/01/13 at 12:47 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Brunner on the massive backcheck.  Beauty, eh?

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 03/01/13 at 12:48 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Cleary looked good on that icing touch up.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 03/01/13 at 12:49 AM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Brunner not afraid to show he’s a two way player.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 03/01/13 at 12:49 AM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Andersson and Tatar still flying even late in the game.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 03/01/13 at 12:49 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Buckets’ UFA after next season.  Just saying…

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 03/01/13 at 12:51 AM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Posted by
     
    Yzersyuk
     
      on 03/01/13 at 12:49 AM ET

With only like 12 minutes of ice time.. they should still have legs.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 03/01/13 at 12:51 AM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Next goal is HUGE!  Come ON Wings….......

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 03/01/13 at 12:52 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Tootoo, you sneaky bastard.  Picking up tricks after Dangles.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 03/01/13 at 12:54 AM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

That just says to me that they need more ice time. But yea.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 03/01/13 at 12:54 AM ET

Bent's avatar

So close Big E.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/01/13 at 12:55 AM ET

SK77's avatar

Can someone please explain how Ericsson got so damn good?

Posted by SK77 on 03/01/13 at 12:57 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

DO THIS!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 03/01/13 at 12:57 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Well, got a point anyway.  Now, don’t give up, go for two!

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/01/13 at 12:58 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Last minute of play, Franzen, Quincy… we are/were playing for the tie…...

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 03/01/13 at 12:58 AM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

OT. L.G.R.W.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 03/01/13 at 12:58 AM ET

calquake's avatar

Can someone please explain how Ericsson got so damn good?

Lidstrom threatened to kill him if he didn’t shape up.

Posted by calquake on 03/01/13 at 12:59 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Horse’s Ass was available for a pass and they never got it to him.  Brunner took a chance to carry the play into the zone on his own.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 03/01/13 at 12:59 AM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Get the 2nd point now. You deserve it.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 03/01/13 at 01:00 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Very good effort on second straight night.  Did not show signs of dogging it, in fact badly outshot SJ in last period.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/01/13 at 01:00 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Gotta take a chance, E52.  Shoot, Wings!

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 03/01/13 at 01:01 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Leave the kids out there!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 03/01/13 at 01:01 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com