Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Keeping Teletubbies In Perspective

First...Riley Sheahan's "super drunk" act is nothing laugh it.  At .30, he was just under four times the legal limit (of .08), driving the wrong way down a Grand Rapids one-way street and basically turning himself and his vehicle into a weapon. 

That's not good, and neither is the fact that he had Brendan Smith's driver's license.  I'm sure he'll claim that he borrowed it without Smith's knowledge...right.

None of that is funny.

But, this?  Now we're talking, Gary.  Now we're talking about something the whole family can chortle at.

Sheahan, the Red Wings top pick in the 2010 NHL draft, was wearing a purple Teletubby costume when he was pulled over shortly before midnight on Oct. 29...

That's funny.  Not quite as funny, Gary, as it would be to see you fired on the spot immediately.  But still funny. We can still laugh at things, Gary...even though you've blustered and tantrum'd your way into an inevitable second season cancellation in the last 8 years.

Now, another stone-cold certainty is that the cute little hyphenated Dive bloggers out there will take understandable time out of their busy days to jump on this.  And you can't blame them.  I certainly don't.  All I ask is that we all try and remember that young men, when choosing costumes, often make mistakes. 

    

 

Look. I get it.  It's cheap and easy, like Garcia himself. Using this image and this story have become crutches and some would say it's beneath us.  I would say to those some that nothing is beneath us. Nothing.

So let the Sheahan jokes fly. It's ok. Technically, he didn't hurt anyone with his drunken stupidity.  Luckily, he didn't kill himself or someone else after he got behind the wheel of that Jeep. 

All I ask is that while we roast the young Wing wannabe, we remember that there are transvestites out there who have made much worse wardrobe choices than a Teletubby suit.

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Comments

dougie's avatar

I have been laughing my ass off since I read the Teletubby report. That is some funny shit, I don’t care who you are.

Posted by dougie on 11/27/12 at 06:16 PM ET

Avatar

Never figured Sheahan for a Tinky Winky.  Laa-Laa, I thought.

The lesson, as always is: You just never know how these prospects will develop.

Maybe after two or more years playing in the AHL he’ll start dressing a little older.  Like, say, as a Super Friend.  Maybe he and Smith can be the Wonder Twins, the pair of dopes.

Posted by HockeyinHD on 11/27/12 at 06:27 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

One thing is certain: Sheehan will now be affectionately known on A2Y as The Teletubby…when the NHL starts playing again…in 2042…when he is 50

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 11/27/12 at 06:35 PM ET

VooX's avatar

This anti-drunk driving public service announcement is brought to you by A2Y and Pabst Blue Ribbon who would like to remind you if you will be drinking your weight in alcohol to please take the Stress Train home.

I have a strong suspicion that Riley might be a Plushie/Furry and on his way to meet some furry Down River Puck Bunnies when he was pulled over.

On a positive note, at least he’s not a Brony:

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/27/12 at 07:13 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Damn. Teletubbies is so 90’s.

Smith has some splainin to do. He is cruising for a trade to the dive if he keeps this BS up. He would fit right in there with his immaturity . 

Sheehan and the rest of these young men need to go to a Morgue and see what happens when you pull dumb shit like this. Just glad no one got hurt.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 11/28/12 at 12:03 AM ET

OlderThanChelios's avatar

Two points here…

1. Kudos to the G.R. Police for spotting Sheahan just two blocks from the rink (and probably less than that from the bar, or bars, he was in). Of course, a car driving the wrong way on a one-way street is a bit of a give-away.

2. This kid blew a .30. If I’m looking for folks to blame, besides Sheahan himself, I’d back-track to the bar (or bars) he was at before he was arrested. We’ve all been a bit “wasted” in our time – and we looked and acted like we were. But I don’t know how many of the 19 have ever been as drunk as Sheahan was. Someone at the bar, or bars, had to have seen that he was in no shape to drive. And that includes his teammates.

But, ultimately, the responsibily is Sheahan’s. And whatever penalty the judge decides to throw at him, I hope he gives him at least an extra two days in the Kent County Jail for dressing up as a Teletubbie. Being “super drunk” is criminally bad judgement. But dressing up as a Teletubbie? Well, that can only be described as criminally bad taste.

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 11/28/12 at 01:33 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Someone at the bar, or bars, had to have seen that he was in no shape to drive. And that includes his teammates.

Exactly.  I’d like to know who the fuch let him get behind the wheel.

Thank goodness no one got hurt.

And if the Red Wings organization intends to hang on to this young man, they need to do a serious intervention and assign someone to watch his a$$ 24/7, like the Tigers did with Miggy.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 11/28/12 at 10:36 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Prolly depressed over the NHL season cancellation. I blame Lil Gary. Get the Bernstein firm on the phone. 

As for the Teletubbie outfit…...I can’t recall when we had a nickname for a guy BEFORE he actually played a game at the Joe. There is a whole merchandising angle to be exploited here.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 11/28/12 at 02:33 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Rummie. He played in the last home game of ther season against Shitcago.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 11/28/12 at 05:03 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Thanks CN, I stand corrected!

Yet, one game and a Teletubbie for life!  There’s a career milestone.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 11/28/12 at 08:01 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I have been laughing my ass off since I read the Teletubby report. That is some funny shit, I don’t care who you are.

I keep going back to the story so I can laugh my ass off all over again. 

Instantly, he has three nicknames:  Teletubby, Tinky Winky, and Super Drunk. 

I found police video of him trying to walk a straight line:

 

Posted by monkey from Finland on 11/29/12 at 07:48 PM ET

SnLO's avatar

Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 11/29/12 at 06:48 PM ET

+19   That is funny

Posted by SnLO from beyond the M-1 on 11/29/12 at 08:30 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

At least he wasn’t caught at a Justin Bieber concert.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 11/30/12 at 12:00 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

0.30 is extremely dangerous.  If Smith is found to have given him his ID for the purpose of enabling a minor to purchase alcohol he should be in some serious legal sh1t too.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 11/30/12 at 08:13 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Youtube user, awood40, posted a superb compilation of Steve Yzerman’s best goals from the Nineties.  It includes his milestone 300, 400, 500, and 600 career goals.

Over seventeen minutes of glorious Stevie Y goal scoring badassery.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 12/04/12 at 12:40 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Other than missing the Wings play on my computer (and I’m dying to see a live game on this new Windows 8 64-bit operating system), I really wanted to see how Tom Renney revamped the Wings’ special teams with Dangles and Zata.  Jordin Tootoo smashing and maybe anchoring the fourth line.  Gustavsson giving James Fuching Tiberius Howard much needed rests while winning games like he has in Europe.

[sigh]

Was really looking forward to this season.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 12/06/12 at 04:55 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Merry Christmas to all my fake friends.

I have come to realize that I have other hobbies and interests that more than make up for the loss of NHL hockey. Growing up outside Detroit, I loved the Redwings, Tigers and Lions. But I can count the number of MLB games I’ve attended since the World series was canceled in 1994 on one hand, and every one of them was a free ticket. I still love baseball, but I attend the minor leagues instead. Now, I’ve reached the same point with hockey. Even though I still feel strongly that this is 100% the fault of the owners, I’m not supporting either side any longer wth my money. No more tickets, No more gear. No more game center. I’m not going to spend a dime on the NHL when it resumes. I know that Lil’ Gary and the owners won’t miss my dollars, but I worked too hard for those dollars to waste them on bastards that care nothing about the game. *#$%@& Bettman and *#$%@& Proskauer Rose. Little shits like them give lawyers a bad name. And *#$%@& “moderates” like Ilitch and Berkle too that have allowed Bettman and Jacobs to get away with this shit. In shot, *#$%@& the NHL.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 12/17/12 at 08:03 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 12/17/12 at 07:03 PM ET

I feel exactly the same way about the NHL.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 12/19/12 at 09:56 AM ET

redxblack's avatar

+19 captain DP. I couldn’t agree more.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 12/19/12 at 11:03 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Hear ye, hear ye, CaptD.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 12/19/12 at 12:13 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Thanks MsRedWinger, redxblack and SYF. I had a feeling I wasn’t the only one to feel this way.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 12/19/12 at 02:44 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Aye, CaptD.

From Red Wings Central:

NOTES: Red Wings head coach Mike Babcock told MLive.com that AHL forwards Gustav Nyquist, Tomas Tatar and Joakim Andersson and defenseman Brendan Smith are “ready to go” in the NHL when the lockout ends. He also mentioned Brian Lashoff and Adam Almquist as being next in line on the defensive depth chart…

I just want to see Wings hockey.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 12/20/12 at 01:14 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

I’ll do what I always do.. Watch the game on the interwebs with my fake friends… Once it returns that is. I’ve been watching Michigan Basketball in the mean time. Those 18 year olds look good out there on the court.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 12/20/12 at 09:06 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my Fake Friends. 

Just to put a damper on it, part of me hopes they’ve just gone too far to have a season this year.  The differences between the sides are nowhere near the dramatic shift of 2005 into a hard cap era.  If both sides really wanted to have a season they could reach an agreement easily.

Owners may want to get a season in because with a small investment of player labor for just 48 games they can enter the playoff world of jacked up prices and larger profits, having had to pay the players for just 48 games instead of 82.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 12/25/12 at 07:18 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Hey Gary,

Merry Christmas. I hope you get nut cancer.

Posted by dougie on 12/25/12 at 09:40 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Happy New Year’s to you and yours from Las Vegas, NV,19.  Hope the new year brings us better news than this lockout shit.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 12/31/12 at 01:47 PM ET

Gabriel's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 12/17/12 at 07:03 PM ET

Yep. Center Ice is already gone, no more tickets, my daughter wants a new jersey and it’ll be a knockoff from China, and no more collecting shit.  If the NHL wants me back, they’ll need to fire Bettman first.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/02/13 at 06:12 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Hockey-there is going to be NHL hockey this season.

Aside from most of us bitches that frequent here - I wonder who else gives a whoop?  Hell - ive got to admit to being somewhat indifferent.

F-you Gary.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/06/13 at 10:59 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com