Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 07/23/10 at 10:10 PM ET
W.T.F. Off the California coast in late July and it’s frigging cold. Somebody (Rummy, Calquake?) sold me a bad bill of frigging goods with this one. A minor irritation compared to the fact that I just can’t seem to muster a Wing-related thought that doesn’t center around Willa, which is disturbing. So, we turn to trusty Google and see where it takes me. A simple news search for The Best Franchise In Hockey usually produces immediate gratification.
Google directed me to Malik at Snapshots who took me to the website for Bettman’s closed circuit TV station. Ready? I know you are.
What do the following players all have in common?
Getlzaf. Backstrom. Thornton. Koivu (Mikko), Malkin, Richards and Toews. Sedin (Henrik), our boy Dats, and the league’s most illegitimate fraud of a captain (Rosby)?
Well, according to sobbing Dive apologist, flip flopping OLN “writer” and all around biotch Adrienne Dater? They’re all better centers than Hank Zetterberg. Check out some of the rosy-cheeked, gushing, gobbling praise he lopped on his top ten.
1. Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh - Sorry, but you gotta go with The Kid here. Another 100-point season, 56 percent success rate on faceoffs, heroism for Canada in the Olympics, a Stanley Cup the year before that. It’s all been right on schedule for the the player with the biggest buildup since Gretzky.
Aww. Cute. Little Gary’s got a prize for you Dater. What you failed to mention, and we will since you left #40 out, is that Zetterberg has owned Thid’s ass in every single man on punk matchup they’ve had. More times than not, we’ve seen Rosby sputtering and spewing while Z skated away laughing or blew his comments off in the post game presser. Is Gary’s Baby Boy deserving of a huge mention in this list? Of course. He’s a great offensive talent. But like the rest, he’s not the overall center Zetterberg is.
4. Jonathan Toews, Chicago - Every time you might want to drop this kid down another notch, conscience finally won’t allow it. People look at his point total for last year—68 in 76 games—and wonder if maybe he’s a tad overrated. Uh, no.
The kid is a winner, a leader, a guy I want on the ice in the last two minutes of any close game. Period. He won 57 percent of his faceoffs last year, seventh-best in the league.
I dig Toews. I do. He’s got some characteristics we all find familiar. And, like Gary’s wet dream in Pittsburgh, he absolutely belongs on this list. However…“a guy I want on the ice in the last two minutes of any close game. Period.” Yeah, ummm. I’m betting that if Dater, that ambitious scribe, had taken the time to actually ask that question to anyone who legitimately covers the game? They’d pick Zetterberg when the decision boils down to those criteria.
There’s still this lingering feeling that Malkin is too much of a floater who doesn’t get dirty enough. And yet, you can’t deny the talent or the numbers. The guy won a Cup last year, and put up 36 points in 24 playoff games. By definition, that’s a winning player.
Yeah, dumbass. You just described the anti-Hank. Zetterberg is the guy who NEVER floats and gets dirty every frigging shift. The best defensive center in the game, and a clutch scorer. Brilliant analysis.
I thought about dropping him out of the top 10. But not only were the scoring numbers still there last year in the regular season, but Jumbo Joe finally started leading the way to some playoff success.
You should have thought a bit harder Ginger. Ooooh, he “started leading the way to SOME playoff success.” That’s nice. And the Cup total? Look that up and get back to me.
10. Ryan Getzlaf, Anaheim - Let the outrage begin, fans of Anze Kopitar, Eric Staal, Paul Stastny. Those are three tough omissions right there, but first let’s tout the virtues of Getzlaf sneaking onto this list.
It’s not so bad that he included Getzlaf, a shit bag tool himself, but then he tells “fans of Kopitar, Staal and Stastny” that he understands their outrage? Seriously, Dater…I’m not sure how you could suck more than that. Now it’s not only ten centers in the NHL who are better than Z. It’s 13. Strong work, Adrian. Strong. Frigging. Work.
Perhaps he should travel a bit. I found a guy on River Monsters the other night (actually my wife found it, amazing woman that she is, and recommended I share it with the 19) who probably knows more about hockey than Dater does.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: email@example.com