Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

It’s Not Too Rough To Feed You and The Main Hatchway’s Still Stable

Al Gore won’t let me have the internet tonite so I’m flying blind, unable to deliver my usual stat-heavy, fact-based, unbiased lead in to yet another “most important regular season game of the year.”

It’s kind of liberating, really. Anything I’m about to say can be quibbled with and any grand proclamations can be refuted by me after the fact because I have no means to research a damn thing.  So, with that little built-in alibi, I can say this with great confidence.

This is precisely the kind of game the Wings win.  They dig “statement” games and always have.  The bitter bitch Blues fans, cranky because they haven’t won jack shit in forty years of existence, are undoubtedly feeling as if this is their year.  The one season they can expect their team to perform for the porky prick who will undoubtedly crush their very souls next season.  Winning for Ken Hitchcock is a nifty experience, but let the wheels wobble just a bit and wait for the emotional pain to wash over them in spades.  This, say Blues fans, has absolutely got to be their year.

No sane outsider south of Saskatchewan feels the Wings would have a shot in a 7-gamer against this team. Nobody.  Nobody outside us, the transplants and the tinfoil hatters, those of us deployed, tip tapping our way through another Kansas or Oklahoma spring.  Nobody outside the 19 of you seriously believe anything but sadness would await The Greatest Franchise In All of Sport if the playoffs started today.  And deed down where the drunken sadness lives, a lot of us would be hard-pressed to disagree with that.

But, curiously, the playoffs don’t start today.  Fortunately two critical games against baby butthole brothers remain and each one carries with it a chance for this team to regain the confidence baby Jesus, that adorable, drooling, swaddled and pink skinned, little bundle of promise, told us the Wings would have when April came she will.

Should the Wings win out and enter the playoffs with or without home-ice, we might be looking at something interesting.  Beat Chicago and St. Louis convincingly and the magical Swagger might just be back where it belongs.

So, it starts tonite. It must.  It starts tonite because a win tonite erases just a bit of that road-ice doubt.  A win tonite reminds the Blues what they are: bitches. Wing bitches and nothing more. 

Wings win tonite because that’s how it needs to begin, this last-minute rebirth, this frigging requiem to save a season that once held so much promise.  I don’t predict a Wing win out of blind, sick hope.  No. I say it because these are the kinds of games these guys have won for years, the games that leave peckerheads saying they wrote Detroit off a minute too soon.

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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Red Winger's avatar

“...the porky prick who will undoubtedly crush their very souls next season”

Damn! Drop the puck!!

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/04/12 at 08:05 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

yeeeeahhh… about those TPS reports….


I’m ready for the fuching playoffs.

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 04/04/12 at 08:06 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

It’s kind of liberating, really. Anything I’m about to say can be quibbled with and any grand proclamations can be refuted by me after the fact because I have no means to research a damn thing.

Hey, it’s gotta work better than the truth.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 08:15 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.

RAMMING SPEED!

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 04/04/12 at 08:16 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Grab a brew. Don’t cost nothin’.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 08:20 PM ET

SYF's avatar

As I’m at the second half of my semester, I’m not able to participate in the LB tonight.  A million words need to be typed for too many papers due in too short a time requires my full attention.

But I’ll be sneaking a few glimpses at the scoreboard.

Go Wings.  Just get the two fuching points.  And in regulation time, too.  And against an over-confident B’Lose team.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/04/12 at 08:30 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Keep firing, assholes!P1040118

Then there was that day back in January 2009, Chief, you remember, Ville Leino’s first game and goal, a mini spinorama straight out of Saturday night Finnish hockey.

P1010266

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/04/12 at 08:31 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot better be Franzen.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 08:34 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

In the words of attorney-at-law Dennis Polonich, Looks like I picked the wrong season to quit sniffing glue.

screen-capture-63

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/04/12 at 08:34 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Thanks, Chief.

I can’t bear the thought of OLNVersucksNBCWhatever, so I’m going to listen to Ken and Paul on radio.

I know the Wings CAN win tonight. I just hope they DECIDE to win.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/04/12 at 08:39 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Too bad I won’t make the live blog. The wife just txt me and informed me I have other plans.

I think I’m in love with a retard.   blank stare

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 04/04/12 at 08:51 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Too bad I won’t make the live blog. The wife just txt me and informed me I have other plans.
I think I’m in love with a retard. 
Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/04/12 at 06:51 PM ET

Over heard later on tonight…Oh MrFluffy, is it supposed to this soft.

wink

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 08:57 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

Brutally rough team in Missoura.  Best sick the goon squad on ‘em.

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/04/12 at 09:08 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

the games that leave peckerheads saying they wrote Detroit off a minute too soon.

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.

Hidey Ho,Hoe-bags. Ahoy! Master Chief.

Guess who scored 2 GWGs this season against the bitter team we are aboot to face tonite?

The player formerly known as Mule.

Let’s Roll.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 09:08 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Hey-OHHHHH, What’s Up Bitches?
http://youtu.be/Dh-B2N1OCCY

2012-04-04 07.12.25 pm

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/04/12 at 09:17 PM ET

Trish's avatar

Just LGRW
Photobucket

Posted by Trish from Tampa/Clearwater FL on 04/04/12 at 09:18 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Evening bitches.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 04/04/12 at 09:24 PM ET

calquake's avatar

When did the Gordon Lightfoot freighter sink?

Posted by calquake on 04/04/12 at 09:24 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

When did the Gordon Lightfoot freighter sink?
Posted by calquake on 04/04/12 at 07:24 PM ET

Mid 70’s. I think ‘75.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 09:25 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Posted by calquake on 04/04/12 at 07:24 PM ET

You back in SoCal, settled in with your BiL?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 09:27 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

The predictable pre-game. Pointing out every bad thing they can find.

Like we haven’t done it for the whole season.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 09:28 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Mid 70’s. I think ‘75.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/04/12 at 07:25 PM ET

Look at the picture… it’s a freighter named “Gordon Lightfoot”.  Or maybe I should have just put a cheese  after the first comment.

Posted by calquake on 04/04/12 at 09:28 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

There’s absolutely no sane or rational reason whatsoever to believe the tide is about to turn in our favor.  Cool.  I’m all in.

LGRW.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/04/12 at 09:29 PM ET

tuxedoTshirt's avatar

Hey Bill…....

Bad luck?

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from the Home of the 1937 World Champions on 04/04/12 at 09:29 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

When did the Gordon Lightfoot freighter sink?

Posted by calquake on 04/04/12 at 07:24 PM ET

November 10, 1975.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 09:29 PM ET

calquake's avatar

You back in SoCal, settled in with your BiL?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/04/12 at 07:27 PM ET

Only until next Tuesday then I fly back to get the car.  Don’t know if I’ll be back for the 14th.

Posted by calquake on 04/04/12 at 09:30 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Look at the picture… it’s a freighter named “Gordon Lightfoot”.  Or maybe I should have just put a   after the first comment.
Posted by calquake on 04/04/12 at 07:28 PM ET

It’s a pic of the Fitz that was signed by Lightfoot. You can see the ship’s name beneath a row of portholes.

How is you BiL doing?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 09:33 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

NBCS FEED

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/04/12 at 09:34 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Bad luck?
Posted by tuxedoTshirt from home of the 1925 Stanley Cup Champs on 04/04/12 at 07:29 PM ET

Bad taste.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 09:34 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Ugh.  Why does it always have to be Emerick?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 04/04/12 at 09:34 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Aww, the blithering idiots from NBC again? Damnit.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 09:34 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Bad luck?

Posted by tuxedoTshirt from home of the 1925 Stanley Cup Champs on 04/04/12 at 07:29 PM ET

Bad taste. wink

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 09:35 PM ET

Norskirama's avatar

Gordon Lightfoot freighter = The Edmond Fitzgerald.
LGRW!!!!!

Posted by Norskirama from Lincoln, Nebraska on 04/04/12 at 09:35 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

... that is all.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/04/12 at 09:35 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Aww, the blithering idiots from NBC again? Damnit.
Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 07:34 PM ET

Matt Lauer and Sarah Palin? I keed. I keed.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/04/12 at 09:35 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

... that is all.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/04/12 at 07:35 PM ET

Just right!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 09:36 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Matt Lauer and Sarah Palin

Good lord. I sure hope they dont start doing hockey broadcasts.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/04/12 at 09:36 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Why does it always have to be Emerick?

Why does crap stink?  Why does gravity drag us all down?  Why have I become exactly the type of person my parents always warned me about?  Why all the question?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/04/12 at 09:37 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

I’m in Bitches, and I hear the siren song of the Hasek summoning me.

On with it already.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/04/12 at 09:38 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Matt Lauer and Sarah Palin? I keed. I keed.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/04/12 at 07:35 PM ET

Good one, Captain.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/04/12 at 09:38 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com