Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

It’s July. YOU Find Some Hockey News.

The subject of this post should give you an idea of the hard-hitting, late-breaking items I have in store for you.  A hint?  Sure.  Groupies, potheads and Peklund.

Joanne Gerstner, a reporter for your Detroit News, has turned groupie and she wants to tell you about it.  Apparently, on a recent cruise of the Caribbean, because that’s where we all want to be in July, she latched on with the Barenaked Ladies.  Singing about big (formerly)fat and (presently) paranoid Brian Wilson is original.  This is not.

The band was very accessible, always posing for photos, doing autographs, and talking about their music or lives.

That is exactly what I did with Robertson after the poolside show. We just talked, discussing why the NHL’s Toronto Maple Leafs are so horrible. He laughed when I said I was from Detroit, telling me the Red Wings are an ‘evil empire.’ I retorted that the next time he’s in Detroit, I’ll show him what the Stanley Cup looks like.

FYI: people who use the word “retort” are smart. It’s proven.  Have you ever offered a retort?  When you’ve retorted and you feel like reporting your retort do you re-phrase it or simply import the retort word-for-word? 

Remember the cop who called in his pot-induced complaint to his own department claiming he was about to see Jesus?  Yeah.  Funny stuff.  Well, he’s a folk hero

“I think we’re dying. We made brownies and I think we’re dead, I really do,” he told the emergency dispatcher. Before the ambulance got to their home, Sanchez had enough time to put away the dogs, tell the dispatcher of his past marijuana experiences and get the latest score update on the Red Wings game, all during a near dance with “death.”

By now you’ve probably seen the genius of Peklund.  I’d found him a few days ago and was going to post a glowing review of his site, but then discovered AlanaH was close to doing the same.  So, out of some misguided sense of teamwork, I held off.  But I can delay no longer.  The man is brilliant.

Tidbits? I got ‘em.

Word from my mouth tells me that the Ottawa Senators are very worried that they are only a 1 line team. Likewise, the Detroit Red Wings are also concerned about their similar situation. So Holland and Murray are discussing a possible trade which would see Heatley/SpezzaAlfredsson traded for Zetterberg/Datsyuk/Holmstrom. The deal is contingent on Zetterberg and Heatley and Spezza all agreeing to sign 10 year contracts. Once this is done, the biggest blockbuster trade in NHL history will be done! P2

More? K.

Mike Ricci to star in new Addams Family Matrix movie P1, Rocky Farewell tour with Rolling Stones P2, Quebec Nords P3, Kansas City Scouts P1, Kenora Thistles P1

Roenick to talk out his ass P4, make no sense P2, be rejected by all 30 NHL teams P3, barred from all NHL buildings P1, go on Sportsnet on deadline day and claim Ryan Smyth was traded call it an E5 and then be “Ekluned” er I mean embarrassed. P5

Tomorrow I will be working on deciding who the better team is for next season. The Anaheim Ducks or the Columbus Blue Jackets. I have to talk with my sources. I will be here chatting with myself all day and refreshing the TSN page hoping a player or 2 will sign so I can come back here and confirm it as my own. P5

Investigate the entire site.  If you read nothing else today, Peklund should be it.

 

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com