Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Impeach Bettman

Sometimes, when I'm feeling lonely and blue, I fantasize that I'll have the will power to conditionally boycott hockey.  I imagine taking a stand, giving up blogging and watching and fretting because the bad men stole my game from me, personally. But I know for a fact I'd never stick to it.  Then I start rationalizing and there are moments when I actually believe I could do something more realistic: ignore the NHL completely until Gary Bettman is asked to leave/fired/retires/whatever "soft landing" he's afforded...as long as he's gone.

But what if he never leaves, ever?  Then what? You know I'd be back, one way or the other.  Highly frustrating.

And Gary? We, the reasonable fans, despise you. Seriously.  Despise.  But you won't leave. It's disgusting.  Go below to see what ESPN's Bill Simmons has to say.  

Imagine your neighbor knocking down his house, then rebuilding it from scratch as his family lived in a hotel. You had to listen to the construction guys hammering, sawing and banging for a solid year. Finally the house goes up, the family moves back in … and seven years later, suddenly they're knocking the house down again. You ask the neighbor what happened and he says, "Yeah, sorry about that — we screwed up when we rebuilt the house, had too many flaws, we needed to do it over again."

Naturally, you say, "Why didn't you figure out all that stuff before you rebuilt the house the first time?"

He says, "Because I'm an idiot, that's why."

And then, there's an awkward silence before he walks away, as you don't know whether he's kidding or not.

That's Gary Bettman.

That's from Grantland. Read the whole thing.

He needs to just leave.  And I don't care if the lockout ends today or tomorrow or next October. No matter what, Bettman needs to go.  His very presence is so offensive that it's hard to even discuss anymore.  His employment, his continuing employment as a commissioner...I've never seen anything like it.  I've never seen an organization fail so badly, so consistently and publicly...and the leader is allowed to stay.   Oh I know.  "Failure" by who's definition? By the owners? Certainly not. They're making money. Every one of them. Yes they are.  

Simmons is right on.  He nails it so well, but nobody will be swayed. No owner is going to read it and call another, forward it or nod in agreement.  If I was Mike Ilitch? I wouldn't give a fuch either. Honestly? I'm almost done, and I mean done in the most final sense of the word, and so my attention is on a league that allows me to compete.  Screw the NHL. Fuching screw it.  That's how I'd feel if I was Ilitch.  Why waste precious time waiting for the midget to go when you know the other owners won't let him leave?  

Me? I want hockey back while Pavel Datsyuk still has magic left.  I've been deployed two straight seasons. I'm being greedy, I know.  But for two straight years I've gone without hockey and, honestly, didn't bitch too much about it.  But now I have a full year to see it and this little motherfucher rips it away from me, from us, again.  

How are we back here seven years later battling the exact same problem?

 

For that and that alone, Gary Bettman needs to step down. No, we can't impeach him. Yes, we can continue to excoriate him. He's the worst commissioner in sports history, and really, it's going to remain that way unless Roger Goodell extends the NFL's season to 20 games, adds Wednesday- and Friday-night football to the schedule, pays a hitman to murder Jonathan Vilma, and gets outed for having a heated affair with his biographer, Peter King … and even then, I'd probably still give the edge to Bettman.

If you want to talk about moratoriums, Gary, here's a better idea — step down and give us a lifetime moratorium. From you.

Hell. Yes.  I wish I had the strength to sit here and tell you all, all 19 of you, that I'm done.  Done with watching, blogging, giving shits...until Bettman's gone.  I'd love to say that, and maybe I will.  Soon.  

Good stuff from Bill Simmons.  A fan's view. Fire Bettman. Impeach him.  He's got to go or we all go, right? Him or us, right?

Ha.  Nope.  We'll still be here.  We're not leaving.  All we're saying, though, is that it would be a much nicer world if Gary Bettman would just leave our sport for good.  Just get out, Gary.  Seriously.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

SYF's avatar

He needs his cronies (Bill Daly most especially) to suck the pavement as well, Master Chief.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 11/17/12 at 12:55 PM ET

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More Bettman hysteria.

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 01:29 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Chief, I agree with a lot of what you say, and truly want to see Bettman gone, and a new era begin under a new Commish.

But, Bettman has overseen a league that tripled its income between 2004 and 2012. That, sadly, is all the owners need to see. Bettman isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, and more likely than not he will leave on his terms, not ours.

I mean, seriously, this guy comes right from the NBA, knew very little about hockey coming in, and we’re surprised this is the third time in 18 years we’ve had our game taken away from us?

Bettman was the second-in-control at the NBA when they went through an amazing period of growth. He saw David Stern become a legend, and he wanted a piece of that action. NHL owners at the time, amazed and envious of the way the NBA became a major player, drooled at the prospect of getting a high-ranking NBA official to come and work the same magic in their league. Bettman, his ego fully stroked, gladly accepted.

And the NHL, the premiere league of the game we love, has been his plaything and ego-booster ever since.

And, here we are.

What a fuchin’ mess.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 11/17/12 at 01:47 PM ET

OlderThanChelios's avatar

More Bettman hysteria.

If you want calm and rational thinking, you’re in the wrong blog, brother. A2Y is the place for “from the heart, over the top” hysteria of all shapes and sizes. It’s why, from a fan’s perspective, it’s the best hockey blog on the planet.

And more often than not, for hockey fans that range well beyond the “19,” everything the Master Chief says hits a bullseye. This is definitely one of those times for me.

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 11/17/12 at 01:58 PM ET

Avatar

If you want calm and rational thinking

I don’t really care about calm or rational, just needs to be intelligent!

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 02:02 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

I don’t really care about calm or rational, just needs to be intelligent!

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 01:02 PM ET

Right, because calling Bettman incompetent indicates stupidity. I’ll try to be more intelligenter for you.  Nice exclamation point, by the way.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/17/12 at 02:07 PM ET

Keyser S.'s avatar

Bettman loves being the center of attention. Every cba expiring is his chance to be in the spotlight and justify his salary.

Why else bring out the stanley cup every single year knowing you’ll get your speech drowned out by the booing. Why? Why do you ruin the sacred act of handing over the stanley cup when everybody hates you? Why? How much better would it be to see gordie howe, gretzky, orr, etc hand over the stanley cup? It would be wonderful.

Posted by Keyser S. on 11/17/12 at 02:09 PM ET

Surfer Ken's avatar

Can’t decide if he’s an idiot or a genius.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcgpghm2tGw&sns=em

Posted by Surfer Ken from San Clemente on 11/17/12 at 02:14 PM ET

gusoline's avatar

I don’t really care about calm or rational, just needs to be intelligent!

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 01:02 PM ET

Until you can articulate anything half as well as the Master Chief, for you to claim his post is unintelligent is irony of the highest order. 

Therefore, I award you the title of Dingbat - may you wear it with whatever you have that simulates pride.

 

Posted by gusoline on 11/17/12 at 02:24 PM ET

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Why do you ruin the sacred act of handing over the stanley cup when everybody hates you?

LA fans seemed to appreciate Bettman handing over the cup to Brown.

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 02:26 PM ET

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I award you the title of Dingbat

How gracious of you, I will proudly wear it, you can have the honor of “dumbshit”.  I figure I can bestow it since we are discarding “calm and rational”.

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 02:33 PM ET

gusoline's avatar

Thank you for reinforcing my point.  My work here is done.

Posted by gusoline on 11/17/12 at 02:44 PM ET

Avatar

Thank you for reinforcing my point

Ditto

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 02:45 PM ET

Keyser S.'s avatar

  Why do you ruin the sacred act of handing over the stanley cup when everybody hates you?

LA fans seemed to appreciate Bettman handing over the cup to Brown.

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 01:26 PM ET

OK. I’ll correct it.

Why do you ruin the sacred act of handing over the stanley cup when knowledgeable hockey fans hate you?

If we’re handing out nick names so freely here can I be called double douchebag?

Posted by Keyser S. on 11/17/12 at 02:47 PM ET

Avatar

can I be called double douchebag?

Granted!

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 02:54 PM ET

gusoline's avatar

Actually, Double Douchebag would be your title, your nickname would be DeeDee (as in Ramone).

Sorry, this might be construed as calm and rational, so before I descend to that level -  nanny, nanny, boo, boo…

Posted by gusoline on 11/17/12 at 02:59 PM ET

Hockeytown Wax's avatar

The Chief is just echoing what I’ve been raving about for years.  Finally everybody is catching up to me. Sadly, it took yet another lockout for others to see what I saw years ago.

“Bettman has overseen a league that tripled its income between 2004 and 2012. That, sadly, is all the owners need to see.”

Yeah right ... so in the meantime the NHL has propped up Phoenix for 2 seasons and has 17 other teams that lost money last season (i’d like to see the books on that) despite having record league-wide attendance.

Its all smoke & mirrors boys.  Bettman’s expansion plan is going down the shitter faster than he can wipe his ass ... yet he thinks restricting contract lenght and adding a year onto UFA eligability is going to make things all better.

I told you guys years ago Don Cherry should be the NHL Commissioner (tongue in cheek really - i just wanted bettman gone) but now it really doesn’t matter who replaces him ... just as long as its not Daly.

Welcome to MY world.

Posted by Hockeytown Wax from West Bloomfield, Mi. on 11/17/12 at 03:25 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

More Bettman hysteria.

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 12:29 PM ET

Just how many NHL games have you attended, or, been able to watch this season?  Yea, that’s what I thought.

Thanks Gary. A$$!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/17/12 at 03:43 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

I am so sad about the loss of hockey.

I am considering wearing a black arm band until the start of next season.

When ever that is.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 11/17/12 at 03:50 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Its all smoke & mirrors boys.  Bettman’s expansion plan is going down the shitter faster than he can wipe his ass ... yet he thinks restricting contract lenght and adding a year onto UFA eligability is going to make things all better.

Agree. Atlanta, twice. The Phoenix debacle. The Southern expansion. 3 billion in revenues, but, their broke.

Thanks again. Gary. A$$!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/17/12 at 03:51 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

I don’t really care about calm or rational, just needs to be intelligent!

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 01:02 PM ET

That’s a pretty chicken-shit rationalization, considering you haven’t done any work explaining what you feel isn’t intelligent about it.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/17/12 at 05:33 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Oops. their=they’re. Not intelligent. Bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/17/12 at 06:30 PM ET

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The first problem I have here is one of confliction (tm).

One the one hand Bettman is, in fact, an idiot.  His jamming teams into bad markets was stupid, his keeping them there is even more stupid, his handling of league discipline is retarded, the last CBA was positively moronic, etc.  I think I could run up a list of 10-12 things he has bungled so thoroughly I don’t know that I’d hire him to run a CVS.

On the other hand, in this specific situation I sort of agree with him.

This makes me feel sad, because I like swinging away rhetorically at him.  He’s a douchebag, and saying mean things to him makes me smile.  As does any use of the word ‘douchebag’, to be perfectly honest.  Can’t help it and I won’t apologize for it.

Oh well.

The second problem I have here is one of basic wariness.  Yes, I think it would be riotously fun to see Bettman run out of Toronto on a rail while he is pelted with gasoline-soaked tomatoes.  On the other hand, the reason Gary Bettman has been the Commissioner of the NHL for almost twenty bleeping years now is that, obviously, the owners of the teams in the NHL wanted him in that position for the most part.

Oh, there are probably a few stragglers here and their who think he is a douchebag (heh… see?) like I do, but of the 30 guys he’s got at least 20 pretty much in his pocket for one thing or another.

So sure, while Gary Bettman himself might be gone, all we’re going to get is another guy who will… behave exactly like Gary Bettman did.  Like, say, Bill Daly, who’s about as bald-faced a liar as there is… because that’s what he is supposed to do.  He’d be the same kind of Commish as Bettman.  If not him, some other jerkoff lawyer would cash 5-9 million dollar checks every year to spout the same stuff.

The only way to make sure there aren’t these annoyingly consistent work stoppages is to make sure it costs the owners too much money to have them.  Sadly, the only real way to set up that kind of environment is for the NHLPA to end up with the deal they should have ended up with back in 2005, if Bettman wouldn’t have been the idiot he is during the course of that negotiation.

Posted by HockeyinHD on 11/17/12 at 06:32 PM ET

Avatar

That’s a pretty chicken-shit rationalization, considering you haven’t done any work explaining what you feel isn’t intelligent about it.

So Einstein you tell me what intellible comment I should counter? Once you drop his cut and paste of other writers you are left with this brilliance:

Then I start rationalizing and there are moments when I actually believe I could do something more realistic: ignore the NHL completely until Gary Bettman is asked to leave/fired/retires/whatever “soft landing” he’s afforded…as long as he’s gone.

But what if he never leaves, ever?  Then what? You know I’d be back, one way or the other.  Highly frustrating.

And Gary? We, the reasonable fans, despise you. Seriously.  Despise.  But you won’t leave. It’s disgusting.  Go below to see what ESPN’s Bill Simmons has to say.

So here you go: I really disagree, he isn’t seriously that bad, I wish really hard that others wouldn’t hyperventilate about Gary. I seriously hope they calm down. 

Whatever!

Posted by timbits on 11/17/12 at 07:53 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

That’s an odd characterization of hyperventilating to follow up an odd characterization of what is and isn’t intelligent.

I really wish people who like Bettman would stop stupidly hyperventilating about everybody who doesn’t like him. Those people are really idiots.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/17/12 at 07:58 PM ET

Hockeytown Wax's avatar

Why do I get the feeling Bettman voted for Romney ???

Posted by Hockeytown Wax from West Bloomfield, Mi. on 11/18/12 at 01:01 AM ET

dougie's avatar

Done with watching, blogging, giving shits…until Bettman’s gone.  I’d love to say that, and maybe I will.  Soon. 

Chief, I don’t care if you are blogging about your puppy crapping in the yard,or the contents of Mrs. Chief’s underwear drawer, just make sure you blog SOMETHING. OK?

I miss the hell out of our Red Wings, but there is nothing I can do about it. It’s gonna suck worse when the college football season ends.

If Bettman succeeds in his ultimate goal, which is to close down this blog (the lockout is just a clever smokescreen), I am going to hunt him down with dogs.

Stay intelligent (and thirsty), my friends.

 

 

 

Posted by dougie on 11/18/12 at 08:47 AM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

Charlie Finley had the solution.
All free agents and no contracts longer than the end of the current season.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 11/18/12 at 06:45 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

for you youngsters…
Charlie Finley (link) Wikipedia

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 11/18/12 at 06:50 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I’m pretty sure Bettman did not vote for Romney.  Bettman believes in total top down control, manipulation for political objectives, and complete absence of market forces, like the other candidate.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 11/19/12 at 11:53 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Maybe Chelios should put a call in to Jules Winnfield and Vincent Vega. That would get things moving.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/19/12 at 03:53 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Hmmm, I have not posted much since the sperm whales headed north along the coast earlier this year. Presently, I sit hear playing with my Timbits and pondering the state of affairs re hockeyball.  My Android tells me that the Wings play the Penquins tonight staring at 4:30 PM.  Ahh…the way we were, such is life.

Lil Gary is an ass.  A conniving, money making, ass. Of course, there is some nimrod sticking up for wee fella.  Gotta a have a troll…hey, it’s A2Y.  However, the logic of arguing that Lil Gary is the biggest piece of corn on top of a steaming pile of crap that is “The NHL” is hardly worth responding to. You win, I guess.

Given the current state of affairs, golf in the “winter” here seems less than gentlemanly.  Nevertheless, it appears that entertainment will be of an outdoor variety with occasional shooting, uh um, activities, in the neighboring state and perhaps some seasonal trout fishing on the east side of the Sierra. Let the Commish know that he can start without me…...

Thanks Gary. Ass.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 11/19/12 at 06:41 PM ET

SYF's avatar

[Just tryin’ out this new Dell computer with the Windows 8 64-bit, Intel i7-3770S, touch-screen doodah.  Very cool.]

Holy hell, I miss Jeff’s GDTs and Master Chief’s gameday LBs.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 11/21/12 at 02:35 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Happy Thanksgiving to all of the 19.

Kate

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/22/12 at 11:09 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Happy Thanksgiving to the 19 and to Paul from Las Vegas.

As a gift from HockeyWebCaster, Top 10 Steve Yzerman Goals.

Holy Sweet, Babbling, Giggling Blue Eyes Baby Jesus, it’s glorious.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 11/22/12 at 03:05 PM ET

Avatar

Thanks Gary. Ass.

I wonder if he quite catches the irony of his post.

Posted by HockeyinHD on 11/23/12 at 10:14 AM ET

hockeychic's avatar

Me? I want hockey back while Pavel Datsyuk still has magic left.

This.  I think about this every day that there is no hockey.

NHL = No Hockey League.

I wish I could say I was done and I wouldn’t be back…but I’m a fool and I’ll be back again.  I miss the live blogs and my routines that go with hockey season.  It just feels odd and empty.  I tried going to a Denver Cutthroats game and watching Kyle Quincey but it’s just bad hockey.

I’d give anything to be watching the Flying Circus and Charlie Buckets.  Laughing at Oompa Loompa on Calgary and continuing my hatred of Sidney Crosby.  Sigh.

It’s going to be a long fracking winter.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 11/27/12 at 11:10 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com