Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 05/14/13 at 05:50 PM ET
And he deserves your apology. You ragged him and you ripped our Uncle Mike. It was unseemly of you and you all should be ashamed. In fact, read what you wrote and consider yourselves admonished.
Is this some fairy tale I'm living through? Am I in Denver?
So...forget putting Tatar--arguably the most creative offensive player on the Wings the last month or so--on a line with Datsyuk. That's just crazy talk. You NEED Abdelkader on that line, Mike.
That's sarcastic and it was inappropriate. One of you needs to step forward and take responsibility for your childish, short-sighted blasphemy.
Oh, that was me. Nevermind.
But that wasn't the first bit of treachery. Oh no. I'd begun this campaign of ignorance well before that little ditty.
Justin Abdelkader has not registered a single point since February 7th. That's 12 games ago. That's when his point streak stopped. A point streak that lasted one game. He has one point this season. And that's ok because we've always expected that out of Abdelkader...zero points. An average of like 1.2 shots per game. It's precisely what we expected when he was re-signed for 1.8 million dollars per year. That comes out to like .0007 goals per one hundred thousand dollars per every two seasons when you pro-rate that to include this year's circus brought to you by the dwarf with the whip and the leather chaps.
That was on 5 March. We were in a bad state then, you and me. Complaints, depression, bath salts. Every day we took aim and blasted away at Uncle Mike and Tick Tock.
Now, in our defense, it wasn't working. Not then. But is there a possibility, even a slim one, that Mike Babcock was looking forward while we were rooted in the obscenity that was the present back then?
Justin Abdelkader was a force, a brutal, soft-handed, speedy, pillaging force against the overrated, ill-seeded Poultry. While Corey Perry was gulping his own urine and firing shot after shot at Jimmy Fuching Howard's tummy, Abdelkader was either scoring, hitting, or sitting after laying some admittedly illegal wood.
And we never saw it coming. We never anticipated this, and we should have. Babcock and Tick Tock have track records. Well...Holland isn't completely absolved at this point. This Summer of Ken will be another chance at redemption for him...and this time it's without Jim Nill.
But Babcock? How did we doubt this guy?
And now he looks even better. That tactic, that nugget of genius...to split up the Euros at a time fat Mickey Rooney would never expect it? Amazing. Gutsy. Like Mickey making Rocky shift from southpaw to righty. No one saw it coming. Stu Nahan noticed it within minutes of Round 1 in Rocky II. He was stunned. Just like we were at Monday morning 0200 EST when Gary let the game start.
Now it gets even interestinger.
Toews and Kane are better than Baldy McFatslap and his little biotch friend Corey. Better in every way. And they're both proven performers in tense situations. Plus there's Hossa. Jesus. Are we gonna have to deal with that topic again?
Yes. Yes we are. Datsyuk must outplay Kane. Zetterberg must outplay Toews. And Johan Franzen must prove to us all that The Decision To Keep Mule Instead of Hossa was sound. He's not the all around player Hossa is, so I'm not asking him to outplay him. All I'm asking is for Franzen to be the Franzen of '08. God he was good. Fiery good.
I'm going to say something and it is shocking to type it: Kyle Quincey has been really frigging good. I have no idea where it came from, or why he's doing it. Maybe the Dive stink has finally worn off. He must continue to be that good. Big E must continue to be as steady as he's been. Nik Kronwall must be vicious.
And Mikael Samuelsson needs to sit. Now. Today. Don't even let him practice.
Our last go-round with the Hawks, at least in the Western Conference. You have reason to be scared. It's ok to admit it here where I guarantee, this far down in this post, nobody but us is reading it. It's ok. They're really good.
But we take one in that yuppie shit palace? It's on, Monkey. On. On. On.
Enjoy your respite, your last stress-free evening.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org