Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

I NOW Consider Gustav Nyquist A Hall of Famer

You all know what I didn't shut this morning. And I know better.  I do.  Clearly, I've jinxed us.  The possibility of the Wings not falling prey to this Trap Game are so slim, so very slim.  Just start considering the scenarios now...the Wings-lose, BJs-win scenarios.  And it's my fault. I know.  Too much swagger. Too soon.

They played so well last night, so much deja vu (not the club) and remembering.

Two straight games of happiness. Two straight games to remind us of what could be, but that's all over.  Three (games, not goals) is too much to ask and I know that.  

It's imperative that we open the club car now.  Don't clean it.  Just open it and waddle up.  Voox is there.  He's been there all day and is incoherent.  Kate will be there and she'll be optimistic but quick to remind you, me, all of us that mouths are not to be opened whore-style so early.  Bill will have his graphs and he'll be hitting on my wife. Again.  Rummy will be soaking in a tub, but it's not really a tub because we can't afford it. It's just a trough, and it's filled with warm PBR but he doesn't care.  The old stand bys will show up: Gabe and AndrewfromAnnArbor.  Baroque. Sully, JJ, Tyler and all the other 19 who've started their own blogs.  Everyone will be there and it will be raucus and glorious.  

And my dirty whore mouth will remain shut.  Pets are in play tonite.  Their survival is not required.  Neighbors, remember them?  They must understand that a medium-sized fire is not the end of the world.  

It's a Live Blog, bitches. Early start, just like a playoff game.  Because that's exactly what this is.  God save us all. RSV.

But wait...it can't end there, can it?  I just remembered. It's our last game against the Central, Gary's special creation.  Our last game against our fake rivals, our last game as divisional partners with Shea Weber, who slammed Henrik Zetterberg's head into the glass last playoffs but was not penalized because Gary Bettman directed leniency because it was a Wing he hit and not Rosby or a Hawk.  

So, I'm taking it all back and I'm opening my Whore Mouth wide, like on Cinemax.  

Wings wrap this fucher up tonite convincingly. BJs lose, if that matters.  And we start thinking about what matters most.  LGRW.

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Comments

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J.J. from Kansas's avatar

“Detroit may be happy now, but I think we’ll have the last laugh.”

WTF does that even mean?

This is hilariously dumb logic by Preds fans, one of which said yesterday that as long as the Preds beat the Wings last night, the season would be a success. That one made my heart warm.

The only possible way for Nashville to actually have a last laugh at Detroit’s expense this season is if that dumbshit Preds fan wants his team to throw their game against Columbus on Saturday.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/26/13 at 08:08 AM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/26/13 at 03:07 AM ET

Thanks for that recap, Bill (said as much on the YT channel too); I wanted to see that but forgot to rewind it due to having to drink more beer.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/26/13 at 08:16 AM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Wonderful LB to read this morning, 19, well done.

Riding to work this morning I saw 19 smoldering fires, only one looked like it might flare out of control, and 19 shaved cats, only three on fire.

It had to be done. Again, well done.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/26/13 at 08:45 AM ET

hockeychic's avatar

I’m already nervous for Saturday.  RSV.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 04/26/13 at 10:27 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

More work to be done !

An OT point Saturday locks in 8th place over Columbus, but who the Hell wants a game that close ??  Another 5-2 win would be great.  Not counting on the Wild losing 2 games against those opponents, but would be hilarious if they did!

Hungry Zombies will be crawling all over The Hasek on Saturday night looking to take down The Living.


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Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/26/13 at 11:15 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Let’s hope that Barry trotz out his Pecker-rinne face of the BJs Saturday night.
Mason is an open jar in goal.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/26/13 at 11:24 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

That is a much mo’ betta story than my dad disappeared on 5 kids and a wife, without a word or a trace. 30 years later I was contacted by half-siblings in Fla. from the new family he started. No PBR.

Posted by dougie on 04/25/13 at 07:39 PM ET

Geezo, what a story.  Hope you don’t mind me quoting it in the light of day.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/26/13 at 11:49 AM ET

Primis's avatar

This short season sucks.  It artificially creates “close” races, and also artificially inflates a team’s run like ANA’s, who if the season still had to continue would be facing the field catching back up to them.  As fun as the chart is, it’s not “real’ this time, y’know?

C’mon people, root for DET and CBS, and root for MIN to lose both.  I know some of you want CBS out again, but MIN out and DET in is an even more-fantastic scenario by far.  Root for EDM to suddenly discover heart, and root for Colorado to still defend their home ice.

Posted by Primis on 04/26/13 at 11:52 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

That group of Nashville skaters is half full of not ready for NHL players, like their early years.

If they beat Columbus it will only be because Rinne steals it.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/26/13 at 12:07 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Ugh.  The Wings really do have to win again.  Or at least tie?  So happy RWBill is able to sort all this out and explain it to us.  I had my brain in impossible knots last night trying to figure out all the possible scenarios.

Just win, I guess, is the best guarantee.

I’m nervous as hell already too.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/26/13 at 04:20 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

not sure if anyone else will show up but imam gonna LB some games to night ...

and the wild and oil drop the gloves 2 seconds in ...

then EDM score! 1-0

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 07:13 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

annnnnnnnnnnnddddddd

EDM now up 2-0 at 11:58 of the 1st

cheese

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 07:26 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

btw - Tigers now up 10-0 in the bottom of the 4th

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 07:36 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

3-0 EDM now

wow

1:22 to go in the 1st

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 07:46 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

3 gaols on 5 shots

... THREE on FIVE - ouch.

pulled N. Backstrom

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 07:49 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

FOUR - zip, EDM

at 15:51 in the 2nd

bwahahahahahahaha

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 08:14 PM ET

SK77's avatar

Tomorrow is going to be nuts.

Posted by SK77 on 04/26/13 at 08:20 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

5 ... yes FIVE - nothing

at 9:47 of the 2nd

implosion by the meek

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 08:23 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

laughable ...

6 - 0

at only 6:03 of the 2nd

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 08:28 PM ET

BC's avatar

The Ingalls sisters are pulling the train at the frathouse.

Oil 6 Wild 0

Posted by BC on 04/26/13 at 08:30 PM ET

SK77's avatar

So .... we’re rooting for the Dive tomorrow night?

Posted by SK77 on 04/26/13 at 08:32 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Ha, fuch the Ingalls sisters.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/26/13 at 08:32 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

@ Somekid, of course we are!!!  We arent too proud to beg.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/26/13 at 08:34 PM ET

BC's avatar

So .... we’re rooting for the Dive tomorrow night

This might mean we don’t have to

Posted by BC on 04/26/13 at 08:34 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

saw this on a TMR post earlier:

Detroit Gets In With -
A win in their final game. OR
An overtime / shootout loss in their final game. OR
A loss in regulation or overtime / shootout by columbus in their final game. OR
Losses by Minnesota in their final two games.

Minnesota Gets In With -
A win in either of their last two games. OR
Overtime / Shootout Losses in both their last two games. OR
A loss by Columbus in regulation in their final game. OR
(An overtime / shootout loss in one of their last two games. AND
  An overtime / shootout loss by Columbus in their final game.)

Columbus Gets In With -
(A win in their final game AND
  [A regulation loss by Detroit in their final game OR
  Losses by Minnesota in their final two games.]) OR
(An overtime / shootout loss in their final game AND
  Losses by Minnesota in their final two games.)

I think that covers all the possibilities in the West at this point.

Posted by Jacob Russell from Grand Rapids, MI on 04/26/13 at 01:13 AM ET

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 08:37 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Aside from reaching 22, id love nothing better than seeing the Ingalls sisters on the outside looking in smile

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/26/13 at 08:43 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 09:37 PM ET

A picture is worth a thousand words, see chart above smile

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/26/13 at 08:55 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Aside from reaching 22, id love nothing better than seeing the Ingalls sisters on the outside looking in

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 22 on 04/26/13 at 09:43 PM ET

Yes that would be something.  I’m not confident that that Nashville line up can compete with any NHL team, unless Rinne steals the game.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/26/13 at 08:57 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

A picture is worth a thousand words, ...

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/26/13 at 09:55 PM ET

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 09:01 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Rinne has killed DET all by himself before.  Of course if NAS. Are trying to tank that is a whole ‘nother story.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/26/13 at 09:06 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Kouvo scores for MIN ...

6-1 with 10:19 to go in the 3rd

there goes the shutout for ‘the BooLyn wall’ //yawn//

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 09:14 PM ET

monkey's avatar

This Oil game is fun. Definitely keeps things interesting.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/26/13 at 09:15 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

wow

Parise got checked to the ice then kicked the defender ...

WITH THE BLADE of his skate!  (could been ugly)

//not impressed//

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 09:17 PM ET

BC's avatar

Its “send a message” time in MN.  Some Oil player is dry-humping the linesman

Posted by BC on 04/26/13 at 09:21 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/26/13 at 10:01 PM ET

looks like he’s making some sort of chart whore-style.

that’s it Wild, get somebody injured in a meaningless fight so they’re unavailable tomorrow.

maybe the funniest part of this game, the Wild coach calling his time out, after Edmonton scored its FIFTH goal well into the second period.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/26/13 at 09:21 PM ET

monkey's avatar

A -7 goal diff will look good on Minnesota. I call choke.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/26/13 at 09:21 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Rupp should just pack his golf clubs.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/26/13 at 09:22 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Some Oil player is dry-humping the linesman  Whore-Style !

Posted by BC on 04/26/13 at 10:21 PM ET

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/26/13 at 09:23 PM ET

monkey's avatar

The tv ad guy just said “chubby”

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/26/13 at 09:24 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

A -7 goal diff will look good on Minnesota. I call choke.

Posted by monkey from Fear and Loathing on 04/26/13 at 10:21 PM ET

Yes it’s possible that could be a factor.  The Wings and Wild are tied in the first two tie breakers.

If Detroit gets zero points and the Wild one point tomorrow they’d be tied for 8th, it would come to the third tie breaker, the difference in GF-GA, which the Wings win.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/26/13 at 09:25 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com