The natives are restless. Cars going slow. Slipping whore style to and fro. Frequent live, local and late breaking reports from the least-challenged metereological teams in the history of meteorology.

So, I figured it's time I dropped in for a pop and give you some well-researched, even-keeled opinions on the state of our Wings.

When you're 19, and you're headed to the All Star game, and everything you do is positive, and you're the Calder favorite even though those who admit it are doing it through gritted teeth, and even some won't admit it because why do they blog? Because they want to. When you fit that criteria, you're having the time of your life. Honestly, things may never be better for The Kid. What an experience. Soon, he'll be in Nashville where Pete Weber thinks he's a shortstop and where Shea Weber thinks he's a comet and where the other Pete Weber wants to curl him up in a little ball and toss him down a lane toward a pyramid shaped group of 10 white things that may look like bowling pins but actually represent the collective number of teeth in the average Predator fan's mouth.

The time of his life. Except, there may be one future exception. It could be better. How?

If, um, you know, the previous kid sends us another kid to form a down-the-middle one-two center punch with the current Kid.

In other words, if our personal savior, Steve Yzerman trades us Stamkos and Drouin for literally anyone but Larkin. Yes, anyone but Larkin (ok, Zetterberg too) and more people and some prospects and a bevy of picks, well that would be awesome and Larkin's best time ever would be replaced by that.

Just a rumor and not even a rumor. A Ken Campbell fairy tale is all it is. Why a fairy tale?

You know why. Tick, Tock. Trades are too tough (except when you're dealing franchise players and you're Columbus and Nashville) in the middle of the season. And inside the division, that's just insane. No trading. No signing. Gotta get to 25. Gotta maintain the status quo. Kick some tires but not too hard. Squeek in. Keep it close. Bow out. Trade deadline? Nyquist finding his game in February was our big move. July 1st? Nope. Too steep.

So, Stamkos would be fun. So would Drouin. But that's just crazy talk, Kenny. Crazy. Talk.

A few quickies:

If Jimmy Howard never plays another meaningful minute in Detroit I'll be happier than Hudler in Manila's Hobbit House. Never been there? Oh. My. Me either. Really.

Every time I see Brendan Smith I think he's Jiri Fischer. It used to be just the number, now I think they play the same. I think he's been our best defenseman, to include Kronwall, followed closely by....Marchenko. This place is going to be pleasant after Quincey's first turnover and Marchenko eating Charleston Chews up in the press box.

If Mantha (along with our first round picks through 2025, Nyquist and Jensen--who I've never seen play and really just kind threw out there) isn't dealt for Stamkos and Drouin, are we going to see him? I'd kinda like to.

Uncle Jeff said he thinks Jurco has greatness in him. I do not agree. I'm hoping Jurco shows flashes of greatness so Kenny can offer him up and pretend to try and deal him only to keep him, sign him to a three year 10 million dollar contract so he can give us 14 goals a year and maximum angst.

Something is wrong with Datsyuk and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

We play Denver in Denver outside in February. I swear to Christ the number of fake hockey fans in Colorado will be bellowing and belching wine coolers talking about how much they hate the Wings when 80 percent of them have no idea why they hate the Wings other than their weed dealers (actually, wait for it...pharmacists now) told them to hate the Wings.

Our PK is 20th in the league. I'm no weed dealer, but statistically that can't be good. Drew Miller will fix it. He'll fix everything.

I don't care about John Scott. Anyone surprised by that little ditty hasn't followed Gary's league for more than a month. All fun and games, right kids? Once again, the angry elf, the little homeless shrew, presides over yet another farce the entire hockey-hating country is laughing at. Funny, huh? Yeah.

What time's the game start tonight? Something like midnight EST? Sorry. 7:30pm for me, ladies. But not for too much longer. Back to the east coast for the Iwo family soon, it's looking like. Florida this time. More to follow on that and especially the dealings between the wife and I about who rides with who on the way across. I'm thinking she'll get the cat and bastard lizard while I get the dogs and the spawn.

LGRW.