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Abel to Yzerman

Holland: “We’re Not Opposed To Bringing Back Cory Cross”

Updated at 1835 (below) with severeal outright lies from Ken Holland.  Attaboy.  Oh come on.  Take a joke already.  Ken Holland didn’t say that in his giggles-for-all, four-way, no-holds-barred phoncon with the NHL media today.

But he might as well have.

The Globe and Mail

“At this time of year, you’re looking for experience,” said Holland. “Everybody would love to have a top-six forward or a No. 4 or 5 defenceman. Everything depends on price.”

 

In case you’d forgotten, there are a couple rules to live by where Ken Holland and the trade deadline are concerned.

Holland Rule Number 1:  Tell the media nothing
Holland Rule Number 2:  If you have to have someone speak to the media, have Uncle Mike do it.  Phonics isn’t his strong suit.
Holland Rule Number 3:  Lie to everyone except the players and, sometimes, the coaches.  Lie, lie, lie.  Admit nothing.  Hint at nothing.  Tell the truth about even less.

And as we’ve repeated here before, we dig that about him.  I like to be surprised. I like it. I liked ‘99.  That was an amazing frigging day.  I had this silly little sports watch that sent me scores and sports updates.  Every time I looked at it the Wings were doing something: Clark, Samuelsson, Ranford…Chelios.  Frigging nuts.  All day long, the hits just kept on coming.  Were they all good trades?  Nope.  But that was a fun afternoon.  And none of us saw it coming.

This year?  Your expectations, as clearly stated in the posts below, are that the Wings don’t need to do much other than get some rest, simplify their game and stay healthy. 

The only thing that’s certain is that whatever happens, the organ-I-zation won’t tip its hand before it happens.

——

Hey, just read this story from Dave Waddell. Wanna hear something cool? Everything Ken Holland said was an absolute lie.  Ready?  Here we go.

Detroit Red Wings general manager Ken Holland said he hasn’t decided how aggressive he’ll be this year…

Oh..no he dint.  Kenny you lying liar fibber liar.  Of course he knows how aggressive the Wings are going to be.  He knew it the minute Cleary got hurt, the minute Kronwall got hurt.  Re-phrase: he knows how aggressive he wants to be. 

Holland said he’ll shortly begin checking the price tags around the league.

OMG. LOL. ROFLMAOLOLBFFASAPCINCPACFLT.  Gonna start “shortly”, eh Kenny?  You are one lying bastard of a liar.

...he expects the trade talks to really heat up with the league’s GM’s gathering early next week for meetings in Florida.

Oh…I see.  They’ve been cold up to this point right?  Ken’s left his cellphone at home because the talks have been so cold that there was no reason to bring it before the big GM confab with hookers and firetrucks and slip and slides down in Florida, EH? 

Lie to us Kenny.  We deserve it.

 

 

 

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com