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Abel to Yzerman

Hey Edzo, C’mon In And Suck On This Live Blog

Live on OLN!

For most of you anyway.  One of the Armed Forces Network channels we get will be airing the NFL, and I understand that. The other is playing the Army/Navy basketball game, and this is absolutely idiotic. Look, I’m as Joe Navy as the next guy..but Holy. Hell. Nobody wants to see that. Nobody’s gonna watch it. Nobody cares. Oh and by the way, AFN? You can suck it right along with Edzo.  11 NBA games on AFN Sports next week. One NHL game.

Here are the things I predict will happen today:

—Johan Franzen will take Patrick Kane’s mouthpiece and stick it straight up Steve Montador’s ass. Edzo will find that offensive.
—James F. Tiberius Howard will freeze the puck, stop the puck, kick the puck, lick the puck, juggle the puck, headbutt the puck and give the puck eskimo kisses instead of letting it go by him.  Again, this won’t be received well by Edzo.
—Some prankster will hold up a sign that has the word “camel” and “toe(w)s” in it, just like that. It will be aired and it will be funny.  Edzo will cross his legs.
—My Uncle Mike Babcock will tell the Douche Canoe that he can’t wait to get busy in that Big House because he’s pretty damn sure it’s the only place big enough to contain the awesomeness that is Nick Lidstrom.  Yes, TPH will be playing.
—Jonathon Toews and Hank Zetterberg will have a discussion after the whistle and it will be something along these lines…

Toews: “Those Blues, man they’re looking tough.  Three team race, eh?”
Zetterberg…silence
Zetterberg…“You’re not serious are you?”
Toews…“Fuch no”

Game 3 of the WCF preview is today in Hockeytown on OLN with Edzo and the Douche Canoe and 20,000 Hawk-hating patriots. 

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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Nate A's avatar

What a weird game from Bert. 2 nice goals, yet pretty much out of every other play in the game. But the results are all that matter.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 05:08 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

As the Master Chief said in the title of this LB, Suck on it, Edzo.  HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/14/12 at 05:08 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Where, oh where, did that Cawk sucking troll go?

Yea. I thought so.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/14/12 at 05:09 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

14 home games wins in a row.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 05:09 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

what a frigging game!

love the hit by Helm at the blue line late in the third.  THAT is how you stop a player who thinks he’s gonna deke his way around everyone.

btw, can someone please explain to the Douche Canoe how the points work?  I don’t have the energy.  (he said the Wings and Hawks are now tied)

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/14/12 at 05:10 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

wings out shot the ‘awks 9-0 in ot for a final SOG for the game 27-43 wings

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 05:11 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

04:21 Todd Bertuzzi (8) Snap Shot - Assists: V. Filppula (22) & N. Lidstrom (16)

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 05:11 PM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

The Cawks owned most of the third, but that OT was a demonstration of brilliant passing and teamwork by the Wings. We are blessed to have players that can handle the puck so well.

LGRW!!

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 01/14/12 at 05:12 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

I love me some Serial Killer…especially when he gives credit like he does to the organization and multiple players instead of himself.

Gave ‘em another point but at least the Wings took two.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 01/14/12 at 05:12 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

I can’t believe how much Mule and Pasha utterly dominated the possession with that much room on the ice. If the NHL switched to an international sized rink we would win the Cup every fuching year.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 01/14/12 at 05:12 PM ET

cainer4wingsglory's avatar

Am I hearing things or did the Douche Canoe say to Bertuzzi “you’ve won the cup, you know what it takes”?

Posted by cainer4wingsglory on 01/14/12 at 05:13 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Sure was good that Bert’s back/groin didn’t keep him out of this game…

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/14/12 at 05:14 PM ET

Avatar

Tinfoil hat alert…..3 games so far: 11 PP’s and 2 penalty shots for the Cawks, 4 PP’s for the Wings.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/14/12 at 05:16 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Tinfoil hat alert…..3 games so far: 11 PP’s and 2 penalty shots for the Cawks, 4 PP’s for the Wings.

Posted by Valek on 01/14/12 at 03:16 PM ET

But the Wings have won 2 out of the three games.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/14/12 at 05:20 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Lucky lucky ass 1 point for Chicago, really glad to win that one before the Skills Competition.

What a dominant OT period.  Yellowcard is right, Olympic size ice and Detroit puts 130 points and a Stanley Cup every year with this group.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/14/12 at 05:22 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Howard’s gift to the Hawks really involved the zamboni doors?  Babcock and Howard both mentioned it in the post-game interviews.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/14/12 at 05:32 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Time to go have a glass of wine and calm down.  Next time, gang.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/14/12 at 05:33 PM ET

Avatar

But the Wings have won 2 out of the three games.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Michigan, but now in Florida on 01/14/12 at 03:20 PM ET

And yet the Hawks players and coach have complained more about the officiating.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/14/12 at 05:33 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Lolz…as a goof I went and checked out “Talkin Hawks” blog. 

Sad really…

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 05:34 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Is that license plate for real Bill?

If so, it’s phenomenal.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom’s head telling him 1 more year on 01/14/12 at 12:48 PM ET

Yessir, ordered them from DMV as soon as I got back from New Orleans, literally 11 pm.  Just got them in the mail last night and put them on this morning.  Still got my Sugar Bowl Maize tassles hanging out the doors too.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/14/12 at 05:36 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

Howard’s gift to the Hawks really involved the zamboni doors?  Babcock and Howard both mentioned it in the post-game interviews.

yup.  the puck comes off that spot harder than other places.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/14/12 at 05:36 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Posted by RWBill from Jerry Sandusky’s defense team. on 01/14/12 at 03:36 PM ET

Awesome.

My niece graduated from U of M last spring.  Her sister is a freshman at MSU.  Makes for an interesting family rivalry.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/14/12 at 05:43 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

  Howard’s gift to the Hawks really involved the zamboni doors?

Yeah, it definitely hit a the seam and kicked back out in front, despite all of Edzo’s insistence it went off the heal of Howard’s stick.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 05:48 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Just caught up on the LB bitches.Missed half the game fixing broken windows from a windstorm the other night.

I wish we could get that Mule guy who played the last 2 ots to play the whole game. Lots of passion and drive for the net in that guy.

Good game for the most part for the home team. Shitcago gets 2 lucky bounce goals to tighten the spincters.

Off to hockey practice myself breaking in a couple of new Easton and Bauer sticks. Have a great rest of the weekend 19.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 01/14/12 at 06:03 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Today was an afternoon game?  Fan-fuching-tastic, I get to miss another one.  Thanks Gary. Ass.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 01/14/12 at 07:59 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

despite all of Edzo’s insistence it went off the heal of Howard’s stick.

the league needs to send him to Dr Rhamani.  on a replay of a Blackhawks shot from the point he remarked about the rebound Howard let out…except the puck never made it to Howard it hit a diving Wing at the faceoff dot.

there were at least half a dozen times (that I noticed, probably more) where what they said happened was not even close to what happened.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/14/12 at 08:00 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Evening 19, must be about gameti.. what? 12:30 today?  Kidding, missed the LB but got to watch the game with my dad since his TV is on the fritz.  Don’t get to do that too much anymore and it was great to have someone to talk to about the game rather than listen to the broadcast crew.  Seriously, I know everyone hates olczyk and DC, but I don’t know how some of you don’t mind Emerick, I can’t stand his voice or insistance how every shot is a “DRIIIIVE”, or his refusal to call out anyone’s stupid shit on his broadcast team.

Hawks are lucky they got a point.  Wish the wings could have done it in regulation, but a win is a win.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 01/14/12 at 09:39 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Just before I left the house, I saw that squeeker behind Jimmy’s net that led to a Cawks goal to make 2-1.

Best believe that Al Sobotka will have a quiet discussion with Uncle Mike and Tick Tock. 

Judging from the LB, I think the Wings KNOW clearly how to beat the Cawks.  They just have this lazy habit of being bipolar with the lead.  Have they not learned anything in smashing the Kings around and winning 8-2???  Switch?  Fuch that.  If Zata thinks there’s a switch, he’s kidding himself this year.

A win’s a win and two points are two points.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/14/12 at 09:41 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

I’m such a cad.  Heard the first two periods on the radio.  As I’m sitting in the pew during the funeral, I keep refreshing the droid.  When I saw Bert’s tally I had to cover a scream.  Great game.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/15/12 at 12:08 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/14/12 at 10:08 PM ET

The notion of Hawks invincibility was also laid to rest today.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/15/12 at 01:00 AM ET

Bill from GR's avatar

Seriously, I know everyone hates olczyk and DC, but I don’t know how some of you don’t mind Emerick, I can’t stand his voice or insistance how every shot is a “DRIIIIVE”, or his refusal to call out anyone’s stupid shit on his broadcast team.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 01/14/12 at 07:39 PM ET

I completely agree.  Too many spiked, knifed and waffleboards for me.  Just call the freakin game and stop inserting non-hockey jargon into the call.

Posted by Bill from GR on 01/15/12 at 01:01 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Brevity is the essence of wit, and I failed.  I’ll go ahead and post this anyway. Apologies for the length, too much coffee available in the kitchen and procrastinating cleaning the house.  Feel free just to skip it.
__________________________________________________________

I understand about Emrick, but I still prefer him to any other hockey caller not named Ken.  “Way way” back I enjoyed his broadcasts because he grew up as an old school play by play man.  It was a treat to hear him call the Olympics as he used to do them solo.  In recent years he has been forced into incorporating the modern broadcast team concept where he is supposed to set up 2 or 3 other Douchebag “experts” with questions, or, they just jump in and say stupid stuff.  This also contaminates the way he calls the game with the injection of irritating supposed-to-be-funny observations, accompanied by mandatory chuckling of the crew.  Rather than doing play by play, the broadcast degenerates into ridiculous conversations often having nothing to do with where the puck is and which direction it is going.  Oh hey, somebody scored a goal, by the way.  I hate that in all sports broadcasts.

Personally I like his child-like enthusiasm and love for the game of hockey and believe his inflections and emotion are genuine excitement. 

His use of the English language is refreshing and superior to 99% of other play by play men, in hockey or any other sport.  What a change of pace to hear something different than “..and Jablonski shoots it into the Devils’ zone.”  A typical hockey broadcaster uses the word “shoots” as the action verb for passing, clearing, icing, and even once in a while shooting, no matter how it is done.  Occasionally, for a treat, the typical caller will use the word “sends” in place of shoots.  How genius.

Emrick has dozens of different verbs for “shoots the puck into the zone”, accurately describing how it was actually done, from “feathers the puck along the boards” to “lifts a bouncing puck into the corner to the right of goaltender Johnson”, to dozens of other words more descriptive and accurate than I can think of, way beyond the mindless “shoots”, and he does it spontaneously, not as a rehearsed catch phrase that characterize other play by play people when they attempt to sound original.

Play by play is an art, and Doc earned the name Doc because of his Ph.D. in broadcast journalism.  People of my generation listened to far more sports events over radio than we could watch on television, and I still appreciate the art.  Bob Ufer describing the colors in and surrounding Michigan Stadium on an autumn afternoon with the excitement of the Michigan Band playing The Victors while marching up from the northern end zone created a picture that few broadcasters today could accomplish.  Doc is a link to that nearly lost art. 

Most any event we are interested in today is on some sort of video media.  Current television broadcast concepts discourage the use and art of play by play.

Familiarity breeds contempt. It’s a personal taste and anyone is justified for not liking Doc.  In fact I’ve also muted the audio of some of those broadcasts.

I cringe at and intensely dislike numerous sports broadcast personalities…


Tim McCarver
Bob Costas
Brent Mussberger
Chris Spielman and his Douchebag DumbAss partner on ESPN Big Ten football.  Seriously, his partner is actually stupid.
Chris Collinsworth, although I don’t watch too much NFL.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/15/12 at 12:17 PM ET

Bill from GR's avatar

Personally I like his child-like enthusiasm and love for the game of hockey and believe his inflections and emotion are genuine excitement. 

Posted by RWBill from Jerry Sandusky’s defense team. on 01/15/12 at 10:17 AM ET

Good points above, RWBill, and I would agree entirely that his emotions and inflections are genuine.  In fact, I enjoy the energy he puts into his call.  I just hate the use of the words “knife” and “spike” for puck movements.  It must be my juvenileousness that keeps me from overlooking those, but they just stab my ear drums each time I hear them, which is frequently during his call.

I can picture “feathering” a saucer pass cross ice, or twisting to slap the disk to the relative safety of center ice.  I just can’t picture knifings or spikings.  My own mental shortcomings.  But then again, I’m not a pharmacist.

Posted by Bill from GR on 01/15/12 at 06:32 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com