Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Hey Edzo, C’mon In And Suck On This Live Blog

Live on OLN!

For most of you anyway.  One of the Armed Forces Network channels we get will be airing the NFL, and I understand that. The other is playing the Army/Navy basketball game, and this is absolutely idiotic. Look, I’m as Joe Navy as the next guy..but Holy. Hell. Nobody wants to see that. Nobody’s gonna watch it. Nobody cares. Oh and by the way, AFN? You can suck it right along with Edzo.  11 NBA games on AFN Sports next week. One NHL game.

Here are the things I predict will happen today:

—Johan Franzen will take Patrick Kane’s mouthpiece and stick it straight up Steve Montador’s ass. Edzo will find that offensive.
—James F. Tiberius Howard will freeze the puck, stop the puck, kick the puck, lick the puck, juggle the puck, headbutt the puck and give the puck eskimo kisses instead of letting it go by him.  Again, this won’t be received well by Edzo.
—Some prankster will hold up a sign that has the word “camel” and “toe(w)s” in it, just like that. It will be aired and it will be funny.  Edzo will cross his legs.
—My Uncle Mike Babcock will tell the Douche Canoe that he can’t wait to get busy in that Big House because he’s pretty damn sure it’s the only place big enough to contain the awesomeness that is Nick Lidstrom.  Yes, TPH will be playing.
—Jonathon Toews and Hank Zetterberg will have a discussion after the whistle and it will be something along these lines…

Toews: “Those Blues, man they’re looking tough.  Three team race, eh?”
Zetterberg…silence
Zetterberg…“You’re not serious are you?”
Toews…“Fuch no”

Game 3 of the WCF preview is today in Hockeytown on OLN with Edzo and the Douche Canoe and 20,000 Hawk-hating patriots. 

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

Avatar

Game Time scenario:

The puck drops, 4,000 “diehards” will watch as the entire Detwat line on the ice falls, flails around like Euro soccer stars, get their penalty, magically get up as they all try to find Franzen and his hockey game.

I hope Seabrook punches Holstrom repeatedly in the face for being him.

Hawks 4 - The world that surrounds the hockey universe and demands respect - 2

Posted by Chaulker on 01/14/12 at 01:17 PM ET

Slumpy's avatar

Listening to edzo laugh like a schoolgirl at emrick’s lame attempts at humor today will force me to mute the broadcast. Those two make my ears bleed.
Windy City team going home, downwind of a foul loss today.


cool grin

Posted by Slumpy from Detroit on 01/14/12 at 01:38 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Geez, another pathetic troll.  Big surprise.

Thanks, Master Chief.  Great Stuff, as the Mick would say.  Can you get internet radio?  Ken and Paul are always an option.  I may use that option myself today, ‘cuz
I hate Edzo, the Douche Canoe and the tone of Doc’s voice, but at least the game is in Detroit. 

Wings Will Win.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/14/12 at 01:41 PM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

It will take 30,000+ dedicated screaming Hockeytown fans to drown out the slobbering verbal Cawk-crush that is Edzo.

LGRW!

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 01/14/12 at 01:48 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Toews: “Those Blues, man they’re looking tough.  Three team race, eh?”
Zetterberg…silence
Zetterberg…“You’re not serious are you?”
Toews…“Fuch no”

Poetry plain and simple.  Almost Haiku-esque.

Posted by calquake on 01/14/12 at 01:52 PM ET

BrendonR's avatar

Quennville, 20 Cent and the rest of them are about to get a lesson from the real pros: quit whining and let your play do the talking.

Chief, you must not have much luck with streaming games online.  That’s the only way I manage to catch the majority of games up here in the land of snow and igloos.

Time for Mule to go on one of his patented single-game scoring binges.  LGRW!

Posted by BrendonR on 01/14/12 at 01:54 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.

Mornin’ Bitches. Time to take The Joe back from the Cawks.

Let’s Roll.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/14/12 at 01:57 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Bitches, It’s 10 a.m. somewhere.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/14/12 at 02:10 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

If I remember my time in Hell, the Persian Gulf is 8 hours ahead on the clock, while 10 centuries behind in culture.  It’s already dark where Chief is, Good Evenin’, eh?

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/14/12 at 02:12 PM ET

John W.'s avatar

The puck drops, 4,000 “diehards” will watch as the entire Detwat line on the ice falls, flails around like Euro soccer stars, get their penalty, magically get up as they all try to find Franzen and his hockey game.
Posted by Chaulker on 01/14/12 at 10:17 AM ET

Nah, the Wings don’t dive, they just get up after they’re taken down nowhere near the puck, skate down the ice, abuse the entire Cawk team, including one of your ‘stars’, and score the game winning goal.

And that’s after the Cawks inevitably get 5-6 more powerplays than the Wings and probably a penalty shot too.

Posted by John W. from a bubble wrap cocoon on 01/14/12 at 02:17 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Hola bitches.

No LB for me today, unfortunately I have to go to a funeral (no, unlike MO I won’t be pulling the string).

Huh, maybe I’ll not be the only one of the 19 watching someone go 6 feet under, eh?

LGRW

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/14/12 at 02:34 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

The newest license plate in Virginia.  Suck it, Hokies.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/14/12 at 02:37 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Posted by Chaulker on 01/14/12 at 10:17 AM ET

The troll is strong with this one…

Posted by pgoody on 01/14/12 at 02:51 PM ET

Avatar

Hey Chief, NBCSports.com and NHL.com are streaming the game for free. So at least there’s that.

Posted by Steve Lepore on 01/14/12 at 02:52 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

hockey for breakfast. (man should not get up before noon) breakfast will be Guinness.

game on bitches.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 02:59 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Cracks me up that there is actually a person out there who can supposedly call the Red Wings divers with a straight face while cheering on Jonathan Toews.

That kid went to the Crosby school of embellishment a couple of years ago and graduated magna-cum Louganis

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/14/12 at 03:00 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Posted by RWBill from Jerry Sandusky’s defense team. on 01/14/12 at 11:37 AM ET

Outstanding.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/14/12 at 03:04 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

97.1 The Ticket Radio Feed

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 03:08 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Posted by RWBill from Jerry Sandusky’s defense team. on 01/14/12 at 11:37 AM ET

Love it.  My car is similarly adorned.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/14/12 at 03:09 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Won’t be live blogging as I will be listening to Ken and Paul, and the radio feed is always at least a minute behind the TV.  I seriously will kill myself if I have to listen to Doc, Douche and Edzoid.

May check in between periods.

Enjoy.

Bitches.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 01/14/12 at 03:10 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Posted by Chaulker on 01/14/12 at 10:17 AM ET

Fuch, you are stupid. And envious of us. As you should be.

Damn it, 19, I have to start drinking at 12:30 today???

Okay.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/14/12 at 03:16 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Bring it bitches

LGRW!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:18 PM ET

Avatar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvLpI5jVTTM

Isn’t that #13 on the ice being “thrown” down by Toews looking for a penalty?  Before he “magically” gets up and scores the OT winner???  Classy, can’t wait to watch your fans annoyingly boo Hossa the entire game, or throw something on the ice to delay the game. 

Your Euro’s really know how to play the game the right way….......Put Holmstrom’s old ass in front of the net and let him go stand up for himself on his way off the ice.

Posted by Chaulker on 01/14/12 at 03:26 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

hockey for breakfast. (man should not get up before noon) breakfast will be Guinness.

game on bitches.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 11:59 AM ET

Cold pizza, coffee and a little brother beat down for breakfast.  We FINALLY got some snow last night and I have no need to clean up the driveway.  Thank god for lasy Saturday mornings.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:28 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

That play AKA as the reason why Datsyuk sat against the Isle.  But don’t let the facts get in the way of a good trolling.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 03:29 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

“Liam Mcugh”?

WTF kind of name is that?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:31 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

“Liam Mcugh”?

WTF kind of name is that?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:31 PM ET

Avatar

Envious?  Of “us”?  I am not envious of people that are capable of typing on the computer…....

Good luck today, hope it’s a good one…..I’ve been to the Joe and had a great time.  It’s nice to have these games continue to get more and more important.

Posted by Chaulker on 01/14/12 at 03:31 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Envious?  Of “us”?  I am not envious of people that are capable of typing on the computer…....

Good luck today, hope it’s a good one…..I’ve been to the Joe and had a great time.  It’s nice to have these games continue to get more and more important.

Posted by Chaulker on 01/14/12 at 12:31 PM ET

Yeah sure.  Way to try heading out not sounding like a douchebag.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:32 PM ET

SolidTG7's avatar

Yeah sure.  Way to try heading out not sounding like a douchebag.

He really side stepped that landmine.

Posted by SolidTG7 on 01/14/12 at 03:33 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

lolz at Milbury saying the Wings aren’t Elite.

Is it possible He’s TPSH?  Discuss.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:34 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

pregame song being sung

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/14/12 at 03:35 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Cracks me up that there is actually a person out there who can supposedly call the Red Wings divers

No shit. With Dom long gone, the only person on the team I’d even considering calling a diver is Abby. And he hasn’t made it a habit yet. Everyone else does their damnedest to stay on their feet and often succeeds.

Also, Screw you NBC.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:37 PM ET

John W.'s avatar

Isn’t that #13 on the ice being “thrown” down by Toews looking for a penalty?  Before he “magically” gets up and scores the OT winner???  Classy, can’t wait to watch your fans annoyingly boo Hossa the entire game, or throw something on the ice to delay the game. 
Posted by Chaulker on 01/14/12 at 12:26 PM ET

Datsyuk missed the following game against the Isles because he was injured on that play.  That play was all about Toews cheapshotting Datsyuk nowhere near the puck.  So yeah, that sure was classy of Toews, wasn’t it?  The same Toews whose head snaps right to a ref everytime he is touched looking for a call.  The Euro Datsyuk is 10x as tough and classier than that good ol’ Canadian boy you guys call “captain.”

Posted by John W. from a bubble wrap cocoon on 01/14/12 at 03:37 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Milbury already making an ass of himself. Neither team is an elite level team, per Milbury. I thought the Wings and Cawks were in the elite category.

I guess nothing but Bruins counts.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/14/12 at 03:37 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

. Neither team is an elite level team, per Milbury.

You could make an elite level team with all the players Milbury has traded away as a GM.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:39 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Well one minute in with no penatly shot called.  Go zebras go.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:40 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Inside the glass = dick in a box

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 01/14/12 at 03:42 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Nice backcheck Emmerton

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/14/12 at 03:43 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Afternoon bitches.  LGRW!

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/14/12 at 03:43 PM ET

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Smileys

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Feed

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com