Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 10/18/12 at 11:47 AM ET
The Emperor's been all over it...all signs are pointing to optimism, if you want to call it that. At the very least, things are looking up if you're looking forward to a full hockey season. Negotiations are moving forward. Offers are on the table. Big (figuratively, Gary...figuratively) guys are exchanging views, instead of their lieutenants (or brothers). So, yeah, there's justifiable hope today.
Hockey fans are excited.
And nobody else gives a shit.
I've been watching Sportscenter all morning, because you can never get enough analysis pointing to the Yankees mystifying team slump that has absolutely nothing to do with the Tigers' starting pitching, and over the course of three shows: not a mention of the NHL. Not one.
CBS Sportsline, if you care to visit, has nothing on its "front page" and no mention of the NHL in it's list of "top headlines" until you get to the 11th story...just below a riveting ditty about John Calipari combing another juvenile detention system to land another blue chip recruit.
ESPN? Nothing. Literally not a mention of the NHL, hockey, labo(u)r strife, lockout, ice or iced tea anywhere until you go to the designated NHL private backroom where the struggling medical students dance for spare change.
Fox Sports? This is great, Gary. This is your legacy, you turd. On Fox Sports these are the stories they feel are important to their world-wide (not just American) audience...
- Some guy named Hamlin ran into a wall in Kansas. Not sure if that was Harry, of television's LA Law, or if he was hurt, just that it's a fuchofalotmore important than you, Gary, and us, hockey fans. Thanks. Gary. Ass.
- Fox lists a number of sports unaffected by rain. Not sure if they mention hockey because we all know only one thing stops our sport, Gary...incompetent commissioners, or commissioner, actually. Strong work Gary. Ass.
- Two stories on Lance Armstrong's shocking steroid usage, 3 stories on A-Rod (including the models he hit on, the billionaire who wants him FIRED, the benching he's suffering through and the trade to Miami that will never happen but is more important than you, Gary. Ass or us Fans.suckers).
- And there's a story about some absurd amount of money Barry Bonds spent on a bike sturdy enough to withstand the weight of his huge 3-Mile Island head.
But nothing, and I mean nothing, about hockey. Oh, and USA Today? Nothing about hockey. No mention at all. They feel the Viking punter's advocacy for gay rights trumps you Gary. Ass. Ricky Fowler's political leanings are more important than the NHL too. Society's debates and politics on a sports page, but no NHL.
Gary Bettman's legacy, if he gives a shit...and why should he when the owners pay him 8 million per year, is this: There are no "fringe" hockey fans. None. Nobody's sitting or riding the fence. Nobody watches when there's nothing else on. Nobody goes to a game to see what it's like, or to pass the time or on a date because it's a unique experience. Nobody. You've got us, Gary. The never-leaves who will stay even though it disgusts us to the core that we allow ourselves to be abused. We're still here, but nobody else is coming, Gary. Ass. Nobody. And that's on you, dipshit. That's all on you.
The media sets the agenda, Gary. They always have. Always will. They're laughing at you, at our sport, and at us. You're irrelevant and that's your legacy.
What a joke.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: email@example.com