Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Healing In The Orient

Yes, I’m rooting for a San Jose loss tonite. Why? Because it takes a supremely talented, mentally tough, resilient hockey club to recover from an 0-3 playoff deficit.

And San Jose is not that team. 

I do want San Jose to lose. I’d like them to be swept. And yes I’m that guy.

But that’s not a surprise.  Wanna hear something cool though?

I walked into a Manila grocery/convenience store at 0700 the other day.  The lady working behind the counter took one look at me, pointed to her right and said “aspirin is here”. 

And the recovery started there.  In the PI, where it all began 22 years ago…but that’s another story for another time.

Am I fully better? No. I still got really sad when I saw a closeup of granola-ass Jumbo Jerkoff Joe Thornton getting ready, sipping on a fruit juice.  And, like Shooter in Hoosiers, I still have bad visions. 

I still have a consistent nightmare about a midget pimp chasing hookers around a Bed, Bath and Beyond, screaming at them to eat their meat because you know you don’t get pudding unless you eat your meat but laughing while he skipped until he saw a bearded Buckets and laid him out with a shoulder to the head.

I let myself worry now, about life after the Lizard King.  I think he’s coming back but we have to consider the afterlife.

I smile because Brad’s gone and one way or another he took his Whiskey home with him.  No, I don’t think he had much to do with the power play specifically, but special teams were in his lane.  Moreso the PK.  Has George told us whether Boughner is in Detroit yet? 

I’m starting to think about things like rising caps and retiring grinders, aged goalies and whether keeping one is really the best idea when there’s going to be a Conk on the market. 

I’m still sad, but it’s easier.  I take a lot of pride in what our team did but also realize that the vice grip on my nut sack tightened with each small step closer to what would have been The Greatest Fuching Accomplishment Ever.  And when the bad thing happened…well, puppies died.  And that’s that, Christine or whoeverthefuckitwas from PETA.  They just did because that’s what happens.

So, the recovery…it’s ok.  I’m ready to start talking about what will be, just not quite to the point of what could have been.  Make sense?

Rats, San Jose’s up 3-0. They’ll probably win and there goes the sweep.  Certainly no team can come back from an 0-3 deficit of any kind against that juggernaut, eh? 

 

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Comments

 1 2 3 >       Next »

marcotte's avatar

Is it just me, or does Boughner look like it sounds way too much like boner?

Posted by marcotte from Hancock, MI on 05/21/11 at 12:31 AM ET

calquake's avatar

Is it just me, or does Boughner look like it sounds way too much like boner?

As long as the whiskey leaves and the PP rises to the occasion… who cares. cheese

Oh yeah… hey Master Chief… I was looking forward to burning some cow and eating cheddar with you but… you know.

Posted by calquake on 05/21/11 at 12:38 AM ET

Tony's avatar

Tell all my illegitimate kids Daddy says hello….

Damn, some could be like 26 now….

Posted by Tony from Virginia Beach, VA on 05/21/11 at 12:41 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Never made it to the PI.  Spent my share of time in Singapore, Korea and the middle East though.

And Vegas.  I still have dreams….or flashbacks…about all those times TDY to Nellis.

Speaking of TDY.

Any of the 19 near Shreveport, LA?  I’ll be heading down there in June for a week.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 05/21/11 at 01:16 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

Speaking of TDY.

Any of the 19 near Shreveport, LA?  I’ll be heading down there in June for a week.

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 05/20/11 at 11:16 PM ET

Get to talk about lots of this

Is it just me…or does this photo the most erotic thing this side of Karen Newman in a string bikini?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 05/21/11 at 01:17 AM ET

yzer19man's avatar

Bring back the Conk…I want my Conk Block back.  Ozzy’s groin will not last past Oct 15th, let alone Sept 15th…I want to see the reunion tour of “Jimmah and the Conk”
Good to hear from ya Master Chief

Posted by yzer19man from Chicago, IL on 05/21/11 at 01:27 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Oh yeah… hey Master Chief… I was looking forward to burning some cow and eating cheddar with you but… you know.
Posted by calquake on 05/20/11 at 10:38 PM

How about pulled pork, ribs and brisket at mi casa when the Master Chief returns? Rumbear, gabe, surfer ken and any of the rest of the 19 in SoCal for a Welcome back Master Chief, that should be our damn parade with the Cup Party.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/21/11 at 03:12 AM ET

Avatar

I feel your pain, and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.  Mucho gusto.

Posted by Thornton Fan from San Jose on 05/21/11 at 03:46 AM ET

Flashtastick56's avatar

And Vegas.  I still have dreams….or flashbacks…about all those times TDY to Nellis.

Nellis…man.  What a base.

Posted by Flashtastick56 from Meriden, CT on 05/21/11 at 04:01 AM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Karen Newman in a string bikini

Man I wish this existed somewhere.

Good to hear from you Master Chief.

No sweep, oh well. I will say though, it took the Sharks getting TEN fuching power plays to still only win that game by one goal.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 05/21/11 at 04:14 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Good to hear from you Master Chief.  Was wondering how you were doing.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/21/11 at 10:07 AM ET

MarkK's avatar

Is it just me, or does Boughner look like it sounds way too much like boner?

It’s the way the little voice in my head reads it to me.

Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 05/21/11 at 11:00 AM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

The PP definitely needs a boner.

And I’m just saying, I always suspected it…

Rapture Wreaks Havoc On Local Book Club

MARION, IN—Following last week’s rapture, which transported four members of the Marion Mockingbirds Book Club to heaven in order to be with Jesus Christ, the three remaining members have reportedly been scrambling to maintain a regular Wednesday meeting schedule as well as the usual coffee-and-pastry rotation.

“It’s a shame because I think Shirley had the most stimulating opinions, and I was really looking forward to hearing what she’d have to say about [Fannie Flagg’s Standing In The Rainbow] right before her ascension,” said club member Diane Valinsky Monday. “And we were supposed to meet at Lucas’ house this week, but I guess that’s out now, seeing as the armies of Satan are on the march.”

Valinsky said she and the remaining members were not surprised that the Antichrist turned out to be Mitch Albom, calling his latest fiction effort, For One More Day, “disappointing.”

http://www.theonion.com/articles/rapture-wreaks-havoc-on-local-book-club,5603/

Karen Newman in a…pulled pork, ribs and brisket…string bikini

Excuse me, I have a Boogeyman that needs attending to.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/21/11 at 04:07 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

heartbroken ... but more of a Red Wings fan then ever.

what a relentless effort, a couple breaks short;
but all the more to love this team and realize ...

There Is No Better Organ-I-Zation in Professional Sports. Period.

good to hear from you, Master Chief.
job well done. bring it home. mom & the girls are waiting for you, I’m sure.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/21/11 at 05:23 PM ET

Surfer Ken's avatar

How about pulled pork, ribs and brisket at mi casa when the Master Chief returns? Rumbear, gabe, surfer ken and any of the rest of the 19 in SoCal for a Welcome back Master Chief, that should be our damn parade with the Cup Party.

Group Therapy and good food, count me in.  My pad is always an option. Give us a date, Chief.

Posted by Surfer Ken from San Clemente on 05/21/11 at 06:58 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Hey, Master Chief.

Emperor alert. Bitches.

I am about 45 minutes away from undergoing a heart procedure.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 05/21/11 at 05:26 PM ET


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/21/11 at 09:51 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

I am about 45 minutes away from undergoing a heart procedure.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 05/21/11 at 05:26 PM ET

Anyone got an update?

(Thinking and praying for you, PK.)

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/22/11 at 05:06 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

I have been out of the loop - family in town for Rambo’s graduation last week.

I smile because Brad’s gone and one way or another he took his Whiskey home with him.

Ditto - - the special teams haven’t been so special these past few seasons.

I am about 45 minutes away from undergoing a heart procedure.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 05/21/11 at 05:26 PM ET

God speed, Paul.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 05/23/11 at 11:49 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Update from the Emperor this morning on his condition. It’s on the main page or

http://www.kuklaskorner.com/index.php/hockey/comments/kk-_back_in_business/

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/23/11 at 02:24 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Rafi rumored to be retiring?
Holeeeeee sheeeeeeeiiiiiiiiit.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/23/11 at 07:29 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Raf retiring. Wow.

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 05/23/11 at 07:54 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 05/23/11 at 05:29 PM ET

Glad to hear from you MO.  I wasn’t sure if you lived near the devastation or not.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 05/23/11 at 09:35 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

McCrim is gone and Rafi likely hanging them up too. Crazy news like this has forced me to end my sulking and pay attention to hockey again. Please let the rest of the off season news from here on out be the good kind.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 05/24/11 at 03:07 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Please let the rest of the off season news from here on out be the good kind.

Gee Nate, I sorta/kinda looked at this news as being of the “good kind.”

To quote Babs, it is an opportunity.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 05/24/11 at 03:29 PM ET

Wings_Fan_In_KC's avatar

Rafalski played without an ACL - no wonder he was less than his normal effective self.  Damn, you have to admire and yet wonder why they do it - I mean, Stevie Y could have crippled himself playing bone on bone that year.

Anyway, Rafi frees up SIX MILLION.  I doubt that Lidstrom retires now becasue he knows that losing both rafi and himself would damage the team.  He’ll stay and I hope he decides to take $5MM freeing up another $1.2MM (He got $6.2MM last year). 

So….....who do we get in JULY??

Posted by Wings_Fan_In_KC from ...somewhere southwest of The Motor City... on 05/24/11 at 06:41 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

sorta/kinda looked at this news as being of the “good kind.”

Half and half really. Not gonna shed any tears over McCrim being gone, but Rafi will be hard to replace. Even if his boneheaded breakouts and lagging defense were driving me crazy,his skill in the attacking zone was still top-notch (ok, shot selection left something to be desired the last month or three). Thankfully we’ve got $6M to play with. But we’re somewhat boned if Lids decides to hang em up this time too.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 05/24/11 at 07:08 PM ET

Wings_Fan_In_KC's avatar

Posted by Wings_Fan_In_KC from ...somewhere southwest of The Motor City... on 05/25/11 at 03:06 AM ET

Wings_Fan_In_KC's avatar

4 to 1 series dominated by the Canucks.  F*ck San Chokesaaaay.  They rolled over and turtled just like they did for CHI last year.  Yeah, sure…..they have “exercised their demons.”

Posted by Wings_Fan_In_KC from ...somewhere southwest of The Motor City... on 05/25/11 at 03:08 AM ET

Wings_Fan_In_KC's avatar

F*ck you, San Chokesaaaaay, Thornton, Clowe, Heatley, Setodouchie, the whole lot of you. You bastards didn’t deserve to play in the WCF this year and promptly proved it by squandering any shred of credibility you had as a “Cup contender.” When the calls don’t go your way you self destruct and dig the hole deeper.

You f*ckin’ assholes don’t have 1/19th of the heart that the Red Wings showed pushing you to 7 games.

Pathetic.

Losers.

Whatever you do, don’t let Heatley drive anyone home.

Posted by Wings_Fan_In_KC from ...somewhere southwest of The Motor City... on 05/25/11 at 03:40 AM ET

monkey's avatar

“exercised their demons.”

HA HA

Yes, their demons are in great shape.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/25/11 at 09:01 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

“exercised their demons.”

HA HA
Yes, their demons are in great shape.

Posted by monkey from bat country on 05/25/11 at 07:01 PM ET

I agree, the Sharks’ demons seemed in rare form last night.  Better than ever in fact.  To make it all the more hideous for Shark fans, it seemed like this was the year that all the stars had aligned for them. 

Their first round opponent (the L.A. Kings) were missing their top offensive threat Anze Kopitar, and their second best offensive player Justin Williams was playing with a separated shoulder.  It still took them six games of stupefyingly inconsistent hockey (including three overtime wins) to put the Kings away.

In round two they won the first three (two more in overtime) and in each case the game-winning goal came on a deflection off a Detroit stick.  At that point with all the overtime wins, and all the bounces going their way (including Detroit’s leading goal scorer being sidelined), they looked for all the world like a “team of destiny”.

In a sense, that’s when things began to unravel as the Wings fought back and took them all the way to a seventh game, but even then, the “destiny” thing still felt real, because just when they were about to go down in flames the injury bug reduced the Red Wings to a shell of themselves just in the nick of time during game seven.  The stars continued to align for the Sharks.

Even in the conference finals the Canucks were down two key defensemen and were already without Mikael Samuelsson.  When Ryan Kesler pulled up lame in game five, I’m sure a lot of fans and pundits alike were thinking, damn, maybe the hockey gods have made up their minds and cast their lot with San Jose this year.

But, not so fast…in the final minutes of regulation and the play that ended the game in OT, the hockey gods took it all back.

It was as if they were saying: “We give you every possible good bounce, every possible opportunity we can think of and you STILL can’t seem to bust down that door—so screw you!!”

You know, for all we’re hearing today about how heroic the Sharks were battling through injuries yet each of the teams they faced had far more significant injury issues to deal with.

Bottom line, this Sharks team didn’t blow anyone’s doors off in these playoffs.  They played 18 games, won 9 and lost 9.  Of the nine wins, eight of them were by one goal, and five of those were in OT. 

Only four regulation wins in eigtheen postseason games!!!  Losers of seven of their last nine.

Over the course of 18 games they were outscored 54-47.  Their GAA near the bottom.  Penalty killing was just flat out horrible.  And while the power play was good at times, their five-on-five play was just flat out poor by NHL standards.

Hardly the type or performance that puts to bed their reputation as playoff under-acheivers.  Pretty damn underwhelming when you really stop and think about it.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/25/11 at 09:57 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Go Yzerbolts.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/26/11 at 12:09 AM ET

Wings_Fan_In_KC's avatar

Exorcised.

What the f*ck ever.

Posted by Wings_Fan_In_KC from ...somewhere southwest of The Motor City... on 05/26/11 at 12:59 AM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Yzerbolts showing heart worthy of The Captain in ECFs, forcing a Game 7.  Leadership from the man who wrote the book on it.

Joe Thornton 18gp 3g 14a 17pts -5

Jumbo Choke showing his usual style of ‘leadership’ in the playoffs.  Let’s not forget how he led his team in throwing a tantrum in Game 2 when things didn’t go their way.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/26/11 at 11:19 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/26/11 at 09:19 AM ET

Be nice Andrew.  Those three goals are a career playoff high for Chumbo, and the minus 5 was a big step up from last year!!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/27/11 at 01:02 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Hey, 19.  Just so y’all know - I didn’t watch the Wings play the Sharks at all this year since last year, I watched EVERY single game and the Wings went out in five games.  This year, I didn’t and they very nearly pulled off the greatest comeback ever.  I’m still broken up they lost Game Seven in OT…and then my lower back pains (how is that happening when I’m just 42???) flared up in the worst way.

I’m glad to be back.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 05/28/11 at 08:14 PM ET

Ben Mast's avatar

Hey Red Wings Fans!!! Please like “Red Wings Report”, your one stop shop for the latest Red Wings reports and rumors!!! Enjoy!!!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Red-Wings-Report/175812255806978

Posted by Ben Mast from Rainy River, ON on 05/29/11 at 01:26 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Gretzky was just on the Dan Patrick show. Dan asked Gretz if he could come back as any player in the league, who would it be? Gretz replied Zetterberg or Datsyuk. He said not only are they incredibly talented, they work really hard.

Here is a link to the interview
http://www.danpatrick.com/2011/06/01/wayne-gretzky-says-hockey-as-popular-as-ever-in-canada/

Stupid DP Show staffer thinks the NHL team in Vancouver is the Grizzlies, the former VAN NBA team that is now in Memphis.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 06/01/11 at 01:53 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Okay so apparently the Wings are out of the SCF. This much is certain.

Looking to the future….Will the TPH be back? Rafi ...BuhBye!....Coach Draper?..Tuzzi…still spinning?  Modo…??? Wings coming East??

Insight to these an many others questions will be discussed at the Wings annual Traverse City training camp.  I can’t be there.  So the next best thing is to help someone go.  Someone to gather and disperse valuable Timbits of information.  Someone filled with a quizical nature who loves hockey, tames wild Zamboni’s and happens to be quite handsome….

George Malik. Yup. he’s the guy.

Trouble is, he needs some help i.e. $$$, dinero, moulah, coin, benjamins, greenbacks, cash baby!

He does not like to ask, so I am.  PayPal is up at The Malik Report.
http://www.kuklaskorner.com/index.php/tmr/comments/red_wigns_evening_quickies/

Hit em up…send a kid to camp!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 06/04/11 at 03:37 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Rumbear - good of you to post that for George.  I’m with ya.  We should all help if we can.

cool smile

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 06/04/11 at 04:54 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com