Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Have You Heard The News About Uncle Joe And His Obscene Live Blogs?

There are no trends. Some would say, during the playoffs, that nothing real exists. We boiled the Easter Bunny on Sunday, a nifty addition to a growing list of domestic pets sacrificed in the name of our cause.

We've turned an innocent train, just a small, clean little choo choo, into a den of sin and drunken excess. We've done everything possible to assure an easy entrance into Hell just based purely on our conduct during the last ten playoffs, or so.

We've been juvenile, disgusting, despicable, redolent.

But that's because we're loyal and because our expectations are high, and because we are an immensely intelligent, handsome group of people with great scorn for pretty much everyone else.

Some of you consider tonite to be worthy of Lightfoot.  No. I say no.  Gordon Lightfoot is used in times of desperation.  This is not that time.  1-1 with three games left at Joe Louis is not that time.

Now...should the Wings lose in the same skinny-guy-in-prison fashion? If the power play continues to suck ass? If Datsyuk, Nyquist, FRANZEN, and pretty much everyone else remain ice cold? If Howard plays poorly? If, if, if....yes, then we may call on Lightfoot.

But not yet. Not...tonite ("Miracle" reference...just FYI).

No Alfredsson tonite and that's ok. He's been invisible. Andersson in because law states you can only substitute a Swede for a Swede not named Sameulsson.  You cannot replace a Swede with a Canadian(en) serial killer. Sorry Bert.

No Lightfoot tonite because I'm not nervous. Something tells me Game 2 may have triggered a realization in the Wings that only they can understand.

I am optimistic.

I'm not kidding.

This is a live blog, bitches.

15 to 12.

LGRW.

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Comments

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Alan's avatar

Fuching too many men penalties. How many times have we had those this year?!

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 04/22/14 at 06:56 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

I feel like I’m seeing nothing but wrong decision after wrong decision…

Posted by CrimsonPhoenix on 04/22/14 at 07:54 PM ET

You sound like my wife

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/14 at 06:57 PM ET

Avatar

So soft

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/22/14 at 06:57 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

sheesh

too easy

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/22/14 at 06:57 PM ET

Gabriel's avatar

*#$%@&.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/22/14 at 06:57 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

Oh boy.

Posted by MoreShoot on 04/22/14 at 06:57 PM ET

Alan's avatar

Fuch.

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 04/22/14 at 06:57 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

sonofa…

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/22/14 at 06:57 PM ET

calquake's avatar

For fuchs sake Jimmy.

Posted by calquake on 04/22/14 at 06:57 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Bad. Bad. Howie.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/22/14 at 06:57 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

*#$%@&… gotta get that one, James.

Also gotta stop that shot from being taken, Q-sack.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/22/14 at 06:57 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

goaltending

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/14 at 06:58 PM ET

Avatar

Some one get Pierre some Kleenex

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/22/14 at 06:58 PM ET

Gabriel's avatar

Same shit, different building.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/22/14 at 06:58 PM ET

BrendonR's avatar

Great segment by Liam.

Posted by BrendonR on 04/22/14 at 06:58 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Jimmy…...

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/22/14 at 06:59 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Fuchtastic, Jimmy.  Is there anything you can stop lately?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 04/22/14 at 06:59 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

this game started to go down hill, oh along about the opening faceoff

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/14 at 06:59 PM ET

Gary A$$ SUCK !!'s avatar

Hejsan svejsan..late to the game.!!!
Lets Go Redwings !!!

Posted by Gary A$$ SUCK !! from Fort Myers, Florida on 04/22/14 at 06:59 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

We are losing every single puck battle.

Posted by MoreShoot on 04/22/14 at 07:00 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Hejsan svejsan..late to the game.!!!

It’s okay, so is the team in red

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/14 at 07:01 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

The belt is out again.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/22/14 at 07:02 PM ET

Gabriel's avatar

*#$%@&. *#$%@&. Babs, call a timeout.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/22/14 at 07:02 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Once again, Jimmy sets the tone for the game. Fuch.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/22/14 at 07:03 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Doc asks, “How happy can a 20-year old be?”

Should have asked me that when I lost my virginity.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/22/14 at 07:03 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Jeebus! Settle down!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/22/14 at 07:03 PM ET

Avatar

This looks horrid! I hope we can generate a cycle soon.

Posted by Lidstromfan on 04/22/14 at 07:03 PM ET

Alan's avatar

Alright, so when do the guys plan on showing up? Because obviously we have cardboard cutouts on the ice tonight.

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 04/22/14 at 07:03 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

Complete, utter domination by the Bruins.

The Wings are going to need some lucky bounces to even have a chance in this game.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 04/22/14 at 07:04 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

Wings have zero confidence. happy sticks. losing battles.  this is where I’d like to have Hank around.

Posted by MoreShoot on 04/22/14 at 07:04 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Wings are terrible tonight.  Smith is even worse on our blueline.  So many mistakes all around.  All scramble and no composure.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 04/22/14 at 07:04 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Babbles declines.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/22/14 at 07:04 PM ET

Gabriel's avatar

What was it Chief said?  It aint over until the skinny man gets prison sexed? 

Hate to say it, but Detroit’s dropping the soap all over the ice.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/22/14 at 07:05 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Last game was “growing pains”—okay, I get that, we all knew it was gonna be a rough ride, but the start to this game is just flat out unacceptable.  They’re clearly not ready to play, and at some point it becomes a question of leadership, as in do they have any?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/14 at 07:06 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

How much longer is Babcock going to play two guys who CANNOT HANDLE THE F*CKING PUCK on Datsyuk’s line?

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 04/22/14 at 07:06 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Im late for the game, tired, cranky, sober and Howard can eat a whole bag of dongs for spotting Boston a goal again.

Posted by Hootinani on 04/22/14 at 07:08 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

How much longer is Babcock going to play two guys who CANNOT HANDLE THE F*CKING PUCK on Datsyuk’s line?

Betcha Tatar wouldnt be afraid to take shots on Pav’s wing.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/22/14 at 07:09 PM ET

VooX's avatar

How much longer is Babcock going to play two guys who CANNOT HANDLE THE F*CKING PUCK on Datsyuk’s line?
Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 04/22/14 at 08:06 PM ET

He wants to go fishing early this summer.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 04/22/14 at 07:10 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Betcha Tatar wouldnt be afraid to take shots on Pav’s wing.

A fan can dream, right?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/14 at 07:10 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

This is the start I was really, really hoping wouldn’t occur.

More and more it’s looking like game one was a fluke, and Boston is slowly taking this series over.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/22/14 at 07:10 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com