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Abel to Yzerman

Ground To A Halt: Draper, Maltby Both Sitting

Let’s assume for a second that Kirk Maltby could, if necessary, play tonite..even with the Charley Horse.  If that’s the case?  When’s the last time we saw both he and Kris Draper as healthy scratches? 

I could do the research on that, but my left temple hurts.  Me? I have no idea why Eaves (or May for that matter) is in there instead of Draper.  But I’m sure Uncle Mike has his reasons.  Meanwhile…we’re all looking forward to seeing Darren Helm’s season debut.


“It’s been a long time,’’ Helm said. “I didn’t get expect to get hurt in camp, but it happens and you fight through it. It gave me an extra month to get even more excited to get to this point.”

Strange days.  Brad May and Patrick Eaves in the lineup…Draper and Maltby healthy, and out. 

And I’m sure all of you are warm from the weekend’s Hahn-directed Tuzz-fest.  Holy hell. Every digger we know was loving them some Unibomber yesterday, eh?  They were all…“he’s blocking shots” and “OMG he’s faster than ever” and “if he wasn’t a terrorist he’d be my boy” and “we get to watch him for 32 more Tuesdays LUV IT”.

Me? I didn’t see the attraction. I, and this is coming from one of his few defenders, haven’t been impressed with his play at all.  I was seriously on the verge of heading over to NHL.com and putting up with the most frustrating statistics database ever invented in order to determine how many shots he’d taken and how many hits he’d dished out over four games.  I was convinced both were very, very low numbers.  They’re low (7 and 7, respectively) but not horrifically so.  And then I read over the Fourth Consecutive Zeppelin Inspired Live Blog and saw that Gramps paid him a compliment, too.

That made me pause.  And then it made me cry because I started to think I may not know as much about hockey as I thought. 

Screw that.  I’m not sipping the koolaid just yet.  Bertuzzi was blocking shots?  Ok.  Backchecking?  If you say so.  But, to me, he’s still been mostly invisible.  I said this three years ago and I’ll say it again now:  I want to see a Bertuzzi who reminds people that he almost murdered somebody.  I want people to watch and say, “that dirty motherfu**er…there is no way he should be on the ice right now.” 

I don’t see anything close to that.  And, frankly, I think Uncle Mike’s playing games with the Diggers…using them to boost the big serial killer’s confidence.  After his prolific two-shot, two-block, one-hit game against the Caps?


“That’s as good a game as I’ve seen Bert play in a number of years,” Babcock said. “I thought Bert was excellent and helped those guys. He’s big and he skated well, and that was important for us.”

Really?  I guess. I mean..if you say so.  Gramps?  I know you felt similarly, but I just didn’t see a performance worthy of that kind of puckering. 

He’s playing with the studs now, and he’s gonna be fed a steady diet of scoring chances.  Here’s hoping you convert big boy.  Because I may be the exception, Bundy, but I’m not seeing what all these other experts claim to. 

Hit somebody Bert.  Just once, you big bastard.  Take a boarding call.  Remember how good it feels to inflict some pain and strike some fear. 

Changing topics:  Osgood’s in net tonite, as he should be until both his legs are broken.  Two straight games without Jimmah has felt like a tropical vacation in February, including pissing in the pool at the swim-up bar.  Oh STFU…everyone else does it.  You’re swimming in piss. Drink up and forget about it.

Live Blog at 1800.  More Zeppelin’s on tap, even though you guys aren’t complimenting me nearly enough for my musical selection.






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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com

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