Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Eastward Bound Via Bullet Bob

It all comes back to Seger, back to Bullet Bob. Because it must. It's been decreed for 8 years.  Seger will guide us we'll follow him blindly.

We're going to see some old friends because Seger told us it's good for our soul. We've headed East because he said that a change would do us good.

On to the East because it makes sense. And it should have happened a decade ago back when our shrew commissioner told us it would. But he lied because that's what shrews do.  He lied like my babysitter did when I was six. That skank. I told her that all I wanted was to watch the damn Jerry Lewis Movie Marathon on Channel 25 in Saginaw at 4pm and she said she'd come get me when it was on but every time I asked what time it was she'd say "about that time" and I'd go back into my room and I missed the whole damn thing because her fat ass wanted to watch soaps. 

Well? It's about that time.

Jimmy D and Mr. I and Tick Tock? They're too smart to let it out, but I'll say it: we were promised the East but the East didn't come because Bettman was too busy riding the backs of the Winged Wheel to inflate the bullshit teams in places like Nashville, Phoenix, and Columbus. He was too busy helping hockey-dumb owners in Anaheim, LA, San Jose rake in the cash by doubling prices every time the Wings and our transplants hit town.

Well, see ya. And Good Frigging Riddance.  Because we're eastbound where we belonged years ago.
And as we leave? You can kiss our asses in Denver. Pucker up with your two bogus Cups, your idiotically retired sweaters, your spritzers and your oh-it's-so-tough-to-sleep beat writers. Suck it.  Take your statue of liberty and your 7-0 ass kicking in a game seven, take your Lemieuxs and your "footers" your Floppas, your endless youth movements, your carousel of coaches and your 6 fans..and shove them up your mile high Quebec stealing asses.

As we leave? You scumbags in St. Louis can suck it too.  Your "fuch Detroits"? Ha. Fuch you. Again. Every time. Every playoff series. Every Cup we've raised? Suck it. Take your Pall Malls and hand them to your sister/cousins.  We owned your asses for twenty years and you have nothing to show for it but bitterness and bile.  See ya.

Screw the West. Bring on the East.

Bring us your Rosbys, your fake captains with the "Made in Gary's Fantasy" tramp stamps. Bring us your Charas and watch him chase Datsyuk like a pregnant moose.  Bring us your badass "physical play" and watch your golden Swede defector pot PP goal after goal.

It's on now.  On to the East where we should have been if not for a midget with an agenda.

It's a Live Blog, bitches.  With an Eastern slant like it should have been years ago.

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Comments

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RorSchach's avatar

I fuching love you bitches. All of you. And if I ever hit the mega millions lottery.. I’m totally hooking you bitches up.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 10/02/13 at 07:49 PM ET

Jennemy of the Skate's avatar

Jennemy in da house!  Whoop whoop!

Posted by calquake on 10/02/13 at 07:47 PM ET

Hey there! I’m here but I’m working so my posting may be light. I’ll be trolling you bitches though. wink

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 10/02/13 at 07:49 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

You are a true friend Red.

Posted by calquake on 10/02/13 at 07:45 PM ET

I’d only want the same done for me, brother.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 07:50 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Yep, it’s on now.

Thanks, Master Chief.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 10/02/13 at 07:50 PM ET

Jennemy of the Skate's avatar

Nice to see ya Jennemy.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 07:49 PM ET

Nice to see you too, Kate!

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 10/02/13 at 07:50 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Hey there! I’m here but I’m working so my posting may be light. I’ll be trolling you bitches though.

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 10/02/13 at 07:49 PM ET

Starting up a new sport? Troller Derby?

Eh?

EHHHH?

Okay, I’ll just be over here in the corner.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 07:51 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I fuching love you bitches. All of you. And if I ever hit the mega millions lottery.. I’m totally hooking you bitches up.

You want my PayPal address?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 10/02/13 at 07:51 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I fuching love you bitches. All of you. And if I ever hit the mega millions lottery.. I’m totally hooking you bitches up.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 10/02/13 at 07:49 PM ET

Ditto. Bitches.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 07:51 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Oh, by the way Chief, in case I haven’t mentioned it before, you’re a bitch.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 10/02/13 at 07:52 PM ET

Jennemy of the Skate's avatar

Starting up a new sport? Troller Derby?

Eh?

EHHHH?

Okay, I’ll just be over here in the corner.

Posted by RedMenace from aboard the Crazy Train on 10/02/13 at 07:51 PM ET

Ha! Yes. Yes, I am.

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 10/02/13 at 07:52 PM ET

calquake's avatar

You want my PayPal address?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 10/02/13 at 07:51 PM ET

I already have it… courtesy of the NSA.

Posted by calquake on 10/02/13 at 07:52 PM ET

Avatar

Everyone got a neighbor’s pet handy for the new season?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 07:52 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Hi-De-Ho-Style MsRedWinger!


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 07:54 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Everyone got a neighbor’s pet handy for the new season?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 07:52 PM ET

Strangely enough, PETA protested outside my house this afternoon. Not sure why. The neighborhood has been bereft of pets since last April.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 10/02/13 at 07:55 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

So good to *see* all the bitches in the house.

LGRW

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 07:55 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I already have it… courtesy of the NSA.

That’s the old one.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 10/02/13 at 07:56 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Evening whores.  Pure prose from the Master Chief. 

LGRW

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 10/02/13 at 07:57 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

DET have gaps on the blueline - - dumbass must be talking about Turnstile.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 07:57 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Checking out the Flyers/Leaves game, and I don’t know if it’s mic placement or what, but the crowds in the East seem to be a lot more into the games.

Last night’s Habs/Larks game was incredible from a crowd perspective.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 07:57 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Evening bitches.  3 pages already?  The game hasn’t even started.  Speaking of which, what’s up with that, I thought the wings moved east so they could play at 7.  And Brad Watson is reffing, and we will probably have Emrick and Olczyk the first night?  The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Things have been a bit different around here too.  The wife and I had our first little baby girl shortly after the hockey season ended last year, so the past few months have been a learning experience.  We are really enjoying ourselves though.  Hopefully I can start teaching her the way of the winged wheel before her mother tries to brainwash her into a leafs fan.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 07:58 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 07:52 PM ET

customized ...

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 07:59 PM ET

Avatar

and we will probably have Emrick and Olczyk the first night

Don’t forget DC between the benches.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 07:59 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Congratulations Bent!

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 07:59 PM ET

monkey's avatar

And it should have happened a decade ago back when our shrew commissioner told us it would. But he lied because that’s what shrews do.

Eastern Promises.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 10/02/13 at 08:00 PM ET

Avatar

Glorious stonehands

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 08:00 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Posted by RedMenace from aboard the Crazy Train on 10/02/13 at 07:57 PM ET

Well, most of the teams in the East seem to be more hockey tones then a lot in the West.

It’s like actually seeing a game live at the Big House and seeing the difference it makes when you have tons of people rooting you on.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 10/02/13 at 08:00 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 07:58 PM ET

Hey, congrats on the Winglet, Bent!

Anyone happen to know how many games are nationally televised this season? I suppose I could Google it, but what good’s the Internet if you can’t get other people to do something simple for you?

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 08:01 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 07:58 PM ET

You named her Datsyuk, right?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 10/02/13 at 08:01 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 07:58 PM ET

Congrats dude.  Little ones are awesome.

My Eurotwins turned three in June.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 10/02/13 at 08:01 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Don’t forget DC between the benches.

Crap, I tried.

 

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 07:59 PM ET

Thanks Jeff!

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 08:02 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Glorious stonehands

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 08:00 PM ET

(can’t take credit for the original, one other of the 19 did that)

(but, yes, it is an A2Y one-of-kind)

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 08:02 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Gentleman

Nod

Ladies

Nod

Hmm that didn’t feel right. How do I do this again. Hey everryone. . . no. Hi guys. . . nope. Whats up?....no again. Damn this is a bit- !!!

Evenin’ Bitches!

Nailed it. Who says I cant be smooth in post hibernation. Well the sleeping bear has awakened. Prepare you’re ass’s and liquor its hockey season as of now.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 08:03 PM ET

Avatar

That “NHL Faceoff” crap on the ice needs to go.  What’s next, Bettman’s smiling face?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 08:03 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

congrats!, bent

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 08:04 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Game on, Bitches. Game on.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 10/02/13 at 08:05 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 10/02/13 at 07:52 PM ET

customized ...

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 07:59 PM ET

one of my best chops.  It’s a little early in the season for that prick though.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 10/02/13 at 08:07 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Game On!

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 08:07 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

I get the impression Z can’t stand being interviewed by Pee-Aire

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 08:07 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Congrats, Bent.

JJ, loved the Real Genius reference, compared to you most people have the IQ of a carrot.

And another toast to Gramps…

Injuries and officiating. We got Watson, so officiating is covered. Now, if Jobu can just do something about Sammy…

Off to fight traffic. See y’all in the second or third.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/02/13 at 08:08 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Thanks everyone.  As I said its been a blast.  Doubt I could have got the Datsyuk name past the wife though, monkey. 

Lets drop the puck already.  Been waiting too long.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 08:08 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com