Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Eastward Bound Via Bullet Bob

It all comes back to Seger, back to Bullet Bob. Because it must. It's been decreed for 8 years.  Seger will guide us we'll follow him blindly.

We're going to see some old friends because Seger told us it's good for our soul. We've headed East because he said that a change would do us good.

On to the East because it makes sense. And it should have happened a decade ago back when our shrew commissioner told us it would. But he lied because that's what shrews do.  He lied like my babysitter did when I was six. That skank. I told her that all I wanted was to watch the damn Jerry Lewis Movie Marathon on Channel 25 in Saginaw at 4pm and she said she'd come get me when it was on but every time I asked what time it was she'd say "about that time" and I'd go back into my room and I missed the whole damn thing because her fat ass wanted to watch soaps. 

Well? It's about that time.

Jimmy D and Mr. I and Tick Tock? They're too smart to let it out, but I'll say it: we were promised the East but the East didn't come because Bettman was too busy riding the backs of the Winged Wheel to inflate the bullshit teams in places like Nashville, Phoenix, and Columbus. He was too busy helping hockey-dumb owners in Anaheim, LA, San Jose rake in the cash by doubling prices every time the Wings and our transplants hit town.

Well, see ya. And Good Frigging Riddance.  Because we're eastbound where we belonged years ago.
And as we leave? You can kiss our asses in Denver. Pucker up with your two bogus Cups, your idiotically retired sweaters, your spritzers and your oh-it's-so-tough-to-sleep beat writers. Suck it.  Take your statue of liberty and your 7-0 ass kicking in a game seven, take your Lemieuxs and your "footers" your Floppas, your endless youth movements, your carousel of coaches and your 6 fans..and shove them up your mile high Quebec stealing asses.

As we leave? You scumbags in St. Louis can suck it too.  Your "fuch Detroits"? Ha. Fuch you. Again. Every time. Every playoff series. Every Cup we've raised? Suck it. Take your Pall Malls and hand them to your sister/cousins.  We owned your asses for twenty years and you have nothing to show for it but bitterness and bile.  See ya.

Screw the West. Bring on the East.

Bring us your Rosbys, your fake captains with the "Made in Gary's Fantasy" tramp stamps. Bring us your Charas and watch him chase Datsyuk like a pregnant moose.  Bring us your badass "physical play" and watch your golden Swede defector pot PP goal after goal.

It's on now.  On to the East where we should have been if not for a midget with an agenda.

It's a Live Blog, bitches.  With an Eastern slant like it should have been years ago.

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Comments

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stonehands-78's avatar

Yeah, just like the Jamaican Bobsled Team

Posted by dougie on 10/02/13 at 09:44 PM ET


yah mahn

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 09:45 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

What is this 5 on 5 you speak of?

Posted by Hootinani on 10/02/13 at 09:44 PM ET

Well, you see, there once was this emperor named Caligua, and he really liked to ...

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 10/02/13 at 09:46 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

DAMMIT

I commented in the wrong post and kept refreshing that, wondering why nobody was posting!

FML

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 10/02/13 at 09:47 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

dude sitting 2 rows in front of me went to mt pleasant, mi, high school and also lives in richmond, va.  geebus!

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 10/02/13 at 09:49 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

DAMMIT

I commented in the wrong post and kept refreshing that, wondering why nobody was posting!

FML

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 10/02/13 at 09:47 PM ET

YOLO

Posted by pgoody on 10/02/13 at 09:49 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/02/13 at 09:50 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Well, you see, there once was this emperor named Caligua, and he really liked to ...

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 10/02/13 at 09:46 PM ET

go on…..

Posted by Hootinani on 10/02/13 at 09:50 PM ET

monkey's avatar

go on…..

He was a switch hitter who really knew how to swing for the fences.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 10/02/13 at 09:51 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Evening bitches again

So wings are still up.  Sorry been away. Nephew has all his friends coming by to see his deer and me and his dad are drinkin but listening to the game.

I’m a little late with the intermission entertainment but I’ll whip one off real quick while the wife is out of the room…

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/02/13 at 09:51 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

dude sitting 2 rows in front of me went to mt pleasant, mi, high school and also lives in richmond, va.  geebus!

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 10/02/13 at 09:49 PM ET

Mt Pleasant…nice area

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/02/13 at 09:52 PM ET

Jennemy of the Skate's avatar

I’m a little late with the intermission entertainment but I’ll whip one off real quick while the wife is out of the room…

TMI wink

 

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 10/02/13 at 09:53 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Buffalo with 7 PP’s?  Yeesh.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 10/02/13 at 09:54 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Mt Pleasant…nice area

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 10/02/13 at 09:52 PM ET

Only place in my area that as a La Senoritas.  It is my Mecca

Posted by Hootinani on 10/02/13 at 09:55 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 10/02/13 at 09:51 PM ET

Yes, please.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 09:55 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

TMI

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 10/02/13 at 09:53 PM ET

We gotta get George to change the name of his blog from Report to Inquisitor.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/02/13 at 09:56 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Hey it’s Suits. I kinda like that show

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 09:56 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

For my fellow book nerds out there…

Tom Clancy died today :(

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/02/13 at 09:56 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Yes, please.

Posted by RedMenace from Team Slovaskimo Fighting Snipers on 10/02/13 at 09:55 PM ET

... except she seems to like clean-shaven dudes, so that’s out.

And that’s the only reason, obviously.

 

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 09:56 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

surprised figure skating is even taking place at sochi what with all the anti gay laws goin down…

Posted by pgoody on 10/02/13 at 09:57 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Hey it’s Suits. I kinda like that show

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 09:56 PM ET

I got absolutely hooked on that show.  Can’t wait for the winter season to kick off. 

That and Psych.

And now my wife has us hooked on Revenge…wtf am I doing watching that show other than whatsername?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/02/13 at 09:57 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

For my fellow book nerds out there…

Tom Clancy died today :(

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 10/02/13 at 09:56 PM ET

Saw that… stunned.

I want to create a drink called “The Red October,” if there isn’t already.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 10/02/13 at 09:57 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

That picture they just showed of Alfie made him look Linda like Alan Tudyk. I like him even more now

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 09:57 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Tom Clancy died today :(

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 10/02/13 at 09:56 PM ET

Well thats a bitch, was he sick?

Posted by Hootinani on 10/02/13 at 09:59 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I want to create a drink called “The Red October,” if there isn’t already.

Posted by RedMenace from Team Slovaskimo Fighting Snipers on 10/02/13 at 09:57 PM ET

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Red+October+drink+recipe

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/02/13 at 09:59 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Yea I really enjoy it I just need Mike to be exposed cause I feel like if they actually make the show deal with that issue and not just cover it up by some lucky chance it’ll be awesome

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 10:00 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Tom Clancy died today :(

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 10/02/13 at 09:56 PM ET

Well thats a bitch, was he sick?

Posted by Hootinani on 10/02/13 at 09:59 PM ET

“Mr. Clancy, who grew up in Baltimore, died at Johns Hopkins Hospital after a brief illness, his lawyer, J. W. Thompson Webb, said on Wednesday. Neither Mr. Webb nor Mr. Clancy’s longtime publisher, Ivan Held, president of G. P. Putnam’s Sons, said he knew the precise cause of death.”

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/02/13 at 10:00 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

...Time to go inside the glass with pierre….time to check the score of the baseball game

Posted by Down River Dan on 10/02/13 at 10:00 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

surprised figure skating is even taking place at sochi what with all the anti gay laws goin down…
Posted by pgoody on 10/02/13 at 09:57 PM ET

They moved the figure skating competition was moved a few KM down the road to Sukhumi, Georgia

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/02/13 at 10:00 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Yea I really enjoy it I just need Mike to be exposed cause I feel like if they actually make the show deal with that issue and not just cover it up by some lucky chance it’ll be awesome

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 10:00 PM ET

I’m so glad they’re done with Louis and the cat drama.  If I have to see him and his crocodile tears one more time I may just punch somebody.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 10/02/13 at 10:01 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 10/02/13 at 10:00 PM ET

Was bummed to see Elmore Leonard die this year too.

Posted by Hootinani on 10/02/13 at 10:02 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

oh, oh

Pee-Aire getting “intimate”?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/02/13 at 10:03 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Pierre says its an intimate place to work…Talk about TMI

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/02/13 at 10:03 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

dangles=  bulge inducing

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/02/13 at 10:03 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Yea he’s an enjoyable character, I just want him to be a little more Ari Gold and a little less I don’t give a *#$%@&

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 10:04 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

so they did implement hybrid icing?

Posted by pgoody on 10/02/13 at 10:04 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Hey boys buckle down here

Posted by Yzersyuk on 10/02/13 at 10:04 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Lack of hustle to loose puck lead to a couple of good chances for Buf

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/02/13 at 10:05 PM ET

monkey's avatar

“No, comrade, we’re not gay, we’re practicing our hybrid icing.”

Posted by monkey from Finland on 10/02/13 at 10:06 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

Of the maybe 5 legitimate 5-on-5 scoring chances the Sabres have had tonight, Brendan Smith has been directly responsible for pretty much all of them.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 10/02/13 at 10:08 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Of the maybe 5 legitimate 5-on-5 scoring chances the Sabres have had tonight, Brendan Smith has been directly responsible for pretty much all of them.
Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 10/02/13 at 10:08 PM ET

That’s BS

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 10/02/13 at 10:09 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com