Abel to Yzerman
by RedMenace on 11/19/13 at 07:00 PM ET
Once again it's time for some "Red Wings Hockey..."
... and I think that loosely translates to "Play for 20 minutes or so, let the opposition walk all over you, then lose in extra time," right? Are you having as much trouble not soiling your Pavel Datsyuk Underoos with excitement as I am? Is your Everclear-soaked brainpan ready for the sheer brilliance in store for us tonight? If my cynicism seems excessive, I'm still recovering from a less-than-stellar weekend, so you'll have to forgive me.
Or not, it's up to you. I really can't care.
So here's the deal: The Wings haven't won in what seems like a Howe's age; to make matters worse, the last, like, 37 losses (in a row?) have been in overtime or Gary's Gimmick. Of course, that somewhat lessens the agony of defeat with the much-maligned "loser points."
Notice I said, "somewhat."
I don't know about the rest of you degenerate reprobates, but I'm ready for a freaking win. Overtime, shootout, regulation -- hell, call the game after the first period because all the pucks get lost in the black hole that is the space between Barry Trotz' head and chest -- I don't really care at this point. Obviously I'm no neuropsychopharmacologist, and I don't have access to the A2Y interns (yet....), but someone has to do something -- ANYTHING -- to rid us of this horrid affliction. Put Smith at forward, put him in the other team's sweater, unretire TPH, give him Smith's number, and make Smitty "disappear" for a while -- whatever it takes.
Just. Fvcking. Win.
It's time to numb the pain with some narcotics, some hard liquor, and a Live Blog, Bitches.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org