Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Do Not Be Ashamed…It’s Happened To Bankers, Lawyers, Cops and Happy Czech Oompa Loompas

I worked Seger and our Happy Hudler into the same post title, and talked about hookers without even having "hookers" as a phrase that will catch the spammers.  Of course, the ads here on KK should be interesting for a few days.

I digress. As usual.  Hey guess what Ryan Getzlaf's faceoff stats are through four games?

He's taken 92 faceoffs and won 0.

That's a lie but it's an educated lie.

The Wings have owned him.  Datsyuk has owned him.  Zetterberg: owned him. Andersson: owned him.  Gilchrist: owned him. 

By and large, he's done nothing.  By and larger, Z and our Russian Prince have been amazing.  Tough, tireless, terrific..just like Mitch would say (our delicate genius).  Corey Perry?

That little dumpster diver hasn't done dick. 

Two ways to look at that: Wings are dominating their best players, but still tied 2-2.  Or, Wings have held them down and that can't last for long. 

Either way, it's a good reason to just start pounding warm PBR right now.

Gary's starting this game at 8 on the West Coast. (NEVERMIND IT'S 7, I THOUGHT IT WAS 8.  SHIT.) Seriously, that's late even for those of us ON the West Coast.  You suckers have to stay up until at least 2. And you will. Every single one of you.

It's a Live Blog, bitches.  Take us to 6. Get us back to the Joe with a chance to clinch in front of that madhhouse. 

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

Red Winger's avatar

After seeing the fans at the Joe the other night, you owe it to them to play a series clincher Friday, Wings.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 05/08/13 at 07:36 PM ET

RhymeTimeWingsDings's avatar

EAT EM ALIVE!!!

Posted by RhymeTimeWingsDings on 05/08/13 at 07:36 PM ET

Avatar

Douche Canoe got an Emmy? WTF?

Posted by CJBear71 on 05/08/13 at 07:37 PM ET

RhymeTimeWingsDings's avatar

was it an emmy for being a douche canoe?

Posted by RhymeTimeWingsDings on 05/08/13 at 07:44 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Just. Fuching. Win. That’s all.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 05/08/13 at 07:47 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Something is on fire down below. I better get to a doctor.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/08/13 at 07:50 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Captain.. that’s.. A little personal.. don’tcha think?

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 05/08/13 at 07:52 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

You suckers have to stay up until at least 2.

Actually…

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 05/08/13 at 07:54 PM ET

Primis's avatar

I just can’t manage to do it guys.  I’m exhausted, nobody lets me get any sleep, and there’s just too much going on.  The headaches are increasing, my vision is blurring, and i can’t taste food anymore.  If I stay up, I’m pretty sure I’m going to die.

 

 

 

Nawww, of course I’m staying up.

14 to 12.

Posted by Primis on 05/08/13 at 07:55 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Hola, Amigo.  Toasting a Guinness to you and yours.


Slainte.

I’m expecting a dickish, goonish, thuggish, all-out hug-and-reach-around-and-tugfest by the DuhUcks - the dumbest team in the league.  chuBBy can’t control ‘em; I KNOW he can’t.  So he sweats from that bald dome of his.

Only one mission:  Win It, Wings.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/08/13 at 07:56 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

You suckers have to stay up until at least 2. And you will. Every single one of you.

It’s a Live Blog, bitches.  Take us to 6. Get us back to the Joe with a chance to clinch in front of that madhhouse.

Ahoy-hoy Bitches, Master Chief. As usual, I’m all in. Even till 2 in the am.

Let’s Roll.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/08/13 at 07:58 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

I’m all in. smile

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 05/08/13 at 08:01 PM ET

peiz11's avatar

I’m nervous enough about the game. Now I’m doing math trying to figure out where ill be watching the first period since Gary’s magical league schedules games to overlap for 45 minutes. Great.

Posted by peiz11 from Minneapolis on 05/08/13 at 08:03 PM ET

Surfer Ken's avatar

Sweat Mother of Jesus, not only do I have to live in the heart of Duck territory and have to listen to all of their ass clown fans.  Now I have to go to a school meeting for my kid.  Im setting the recorder although who the hell knows what channel it will actually be on.  Fuk NBC and Gary ASS.  Ill hopefully catch up with the 19 of you later tonight.  In the mean time:
LETS GO RED WINGS

Posted by Surfer Ken from San Clemente on 05/08/13 at 08:03 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

thanks, Chief

now a best of 3

win tonight and bring it home

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/08/13 at 08:03 PM ET

Zqto's avatar

Game is gonna start 23:00 for me, too (local time)
Tomorrow is gonna be a long day at word…  And its gonna be long and PAINFUL if we dont win today!

Get us some roasted quacks, pls! LGRW!!!

Posted by Zqto on 05/08/13 at 08:04 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Just

W
I
N

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 05/08/13 at 08:06 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Keeping the Grandson up a bit later tonite. Hopefully he’ll sleep in a bit tomorrow so I can too.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/08/13 at 08:09 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

Douche Canoe got an Emmy? WTF?

Posted by CJBear71 on 05/08/13 at 08:37 PM ET

From Awful Announcing’s Twitter feed today (it’s a must follow, BTW, if you’re on Twitter):

Here’s all you need to know about the Sports Emmys - Pierre McGuire tied for the win in Outstanding Sports Reporter.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 05/08/13 at 08:13 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

See you bitches at puck drop.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 05/08/13 at 08:15 PM ET

SYF's avatar

“I don’t take anything for granted.”

-Steve Yzerman

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/08/13 at 08:19 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

You suckers have to stay up until at least 2. And you will. Every single one of you.

I have a little problem…

I tweaked my back yesterday and decided to take a couple of fun pills tonight…which turned out to be twice as strong as I thought they were. I knew about 15 minutes in that something wasn’t right.

I am wrecked. Disregard everything I say. I’m confused and frightened.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 05/08/13 at 08:22 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Damn, Dingo. Hope you manage to maintain the high that may be required for this blog tonight.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 05/08/13 at 08:28 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I have a little problem…

I tweaked my back yesterday and decided to take a couple of fun pills tonight…which turned out to be twice as strong as I thought they were. I knew about 15 minutes in that something wasn’t right.

They’re called tomorrow pills, as in see ya tomorrow. I have taken a “fun pill” for my back and the next thing I knew it was morning. No fun at all.

Hope ya feel better.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/08/13 at 08:30 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

HeyoHHHHHHHHHH!  WHat’s Up, Bitches?

I wish I knew how to embed.  It would make for more interesting weekends.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rwbill/6619972791/in/photostream

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/08/13 at 08:31 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 05/08/13 at 09:22 PM ET

a classic:

Just the facts.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/08/13 at 08:33 PM ET

shanetx's avatar

What kind’ve pills did you take?

Several years back I hurt my back and they prescribed me muscle relaxers.  The “Don’t operate heavy machinery” sticker covered up the “don’t take with alchohol” sticker (or maybe my “desire to get drunk” sticker covered up my “common sense” sticker.  Pick your version of the story, I’ve got mine and I’m sticking to it).  I went to the bar with a couple friends and their wives to watch a bowl game my college’s team was in (Texas Tech).  Tech won, beating a much higher ranked California team with a vastly overrated quarterback (Aaron Rodgers) about whom I confidentially said, after the game, that he’d never make it as a pro (Hey, when I’m right, I’m right…).  ANYHOW.  The three of us split two pitchers of beer.  After that I was so wasted that I ended up buying tequila shots for our table (we’d collected three or four others) and the band.  Twice.  My buddy told me he thought I was just in a giving mood because i was sober enough to buy quality tequila for us and well for the rest.

I remembered none of it afterward.  My debit card that my tab was on was put with a carefully folded receipt in my billfold by the waitress for me (apparently).  Bad, crazy night.  No idea how I got home or anywhere else I went between the bar and there.

So, moral of the story:  When Mandingo says he’s gone and pills are to blame, he may be really, REALLY gone.

Posted by shanetx from Floydada, Texas on 05/08/13 at 08:34 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

I’m gettin a semi typin this. Must be near game time. TODD BER-TU-ZZI!

GAME ON!

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 05/08/13 at 08:36 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Well if things go bad ALL of us have a little Inner Mandingo in us.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/08/13 at 08:37 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

ok ok this is Homer booing the IRS. I like to think its him booing the ducks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IQlJfJpJRc

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 05/08/13 at 08:38 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Well if things go bad ALL of us have a little Inner Mandingo in us.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 05/08/13 at 09:37 PM ET

That’s what she said!

Posted by Primis on 05/08/13 at 08:38 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

There are still 17 minutes left in the Caps/ Rangers game. I’m guessing the game will be on NHL Network?

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/08/13 at 08:38 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Nice collection there, Bill.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 05/08/13 at 08:40 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Greetings to all my fake friends here tonite. How many late night L -bees are we to endure?  As many as it takes bitches.

Will expect to see as much douchbaggery as last nights end of pen(is) game. Keep yer head up boys.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 05/08/13 at 08:40 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

What kind’ve pills did you take?

Posted by shanetx from Floydada, Texas on 05/08/13 at 09:34 PM ET

Hydrocodone. I had two different strengths (legally prescribed, in case Joe Friday is reading this) and thought I was taking the less potent one.

No alcohol for this guy tonight, that’s for sure.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 05/08/13 at 08:41 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

I am all in! LGRW!

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 05/08/13 at 08:41 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Aloha bitches. I don’t like it when Mandingo’s stoned on pain killers.  I’m afraid it will affect his wit and I dig his wit.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 05/08/13 at 08:42 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

Chocolate ice cream FTW! Couldnt wait for the game.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 05/08/13 at 08:43 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Evening bitches

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 05/08/13 at 08:43 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Hydrocodone. I had two different strengths (legally prescribed, in case Joe Friday is reading this) and thought I was taking the less potent one.

No alcohol for this guy tonight, that’s for sure.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 05/08/13 at 09:41 PM ET

You’ll be ok. I think. It’s the acetaminophen that damages the liver. Not the dope.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/08/13 at 08:45 PM ET

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Smileys

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Feed

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com