Helene St. James has a pipeline straight to some flat-out domestic frivolity. Allegedly she's meal planning for the Kronwalls, DVR'ing kids programs for the Clearys, helping Tick Tock pick out his ties and going all Mrs. Doubtfire for the entire franchise.

"I'm thrilled for the fans, excited for our game and everybody involved that we're back on the ice," Wings general manager Ken Holland said Sunday. He awoke around 5:30 a.m., just as news broke of the accord.

Defenseman Niklas Kronwall woke up around the same time and said the first thing he did after finding out the news on his iPhone app was to tell his girlfriend. Forward Daniel Cleary yelled out the news to his wife and daughters and was greeted by "screaming and jumping up and down," he said.

Awesome. Hockey's back. Wings are ready, boy. And I'll be damned if we don't need to know just how Nik Kronwall woke up. There's an app for that, bitches. Helene says so.

Helene also provides a riveting review of Gary's three work stoppages, his legacy. And then there's some fun chit chat from Kronwall in there, calling it a "fair deal" for everyone. Except for, you know...um, yeah. I'm happy. Hockey's back. Rainbows baby. Puppies.

Oh and the Wings, our Wings, are opening up at...

...11-to-1 to win their fifth Stanley Cup since 1997.

That is tied for the sixth-best odds in the NHL. The Pittsburgh Penguins lead the way with 6-to-1 odds to win it all.

The New York Rangers and Vancouver Canucks are next with 8-to-1 odds, followed by the Boston Bruins at 9-to-1 and the Los Angeles Kings, the defending Stanley Cup champions, at 10-to-1.

The Red Wings are tied at 11-to-1 with the division-rival Chicago Blackhawks and St. Louis Blues.

The whole division, essentially, is favored to win the Cup...along with Pittsburgh, with Thid's odds to regain "his Cup" mandated in the new CBA.

Teddy Kulfan has clearly had this lead written for months. I mean, he probably had some early rough drafts, crumpled them, re-wrote, crafted, ruminated, stressed, typed and drank a little. Because this? This is the shit.

The Red Wings haven't had an actual game since losing Game 5 of the first round of the playoffs in Nashville on April 20.

Ok. The interns are still researching to verify that. I'm tempted to just blindly agree but you know how particular we are about facts (and have been for 8 years...happy belated anniversary to us all).

Kulfan provides a recap of the roster we'll live with (11-1 odds, don't forget) and finds a way to work 732 Lidstrom references into 7 paragraphs about the blue line.

Jonathan Ericsson: With no Nicklas Lidstrom, Ericsson is one of the young defensemen needed to take on a bigger role.

Niklas Kronwall: With Lidstrom retiring, Kronwall becomes the Red Wings’ No. 1 defenseman.

Ian White: The latest of a long line of Red Wings defensemen who thrived when paired with Lidstrom.

Sidney Crosby: Now that Lidstrom is gone, Crosby becomes the best defenseman in the NHL (mandated by the new CBA).

Ok. I wrote that last one. Sorry.

Teddy tackles the whole team, boy. The entire team just like a real beat writer. Here...look.

Damien Brunner: The undrafted free agent has excelled in Switzerland with his goal scoring. The Wings love his hands and maybe he developed chemistry with Zetterberg while playing him during the lockout.

Yes. Maybe. Teddy also flatly states that Homer won't be back. No attribution. Just fact. I agree but, you know, journalism...it's a bitch.

The last time we gave Drew Sharp any real attention he responded with this little ditty.

Bill—With all due discretion, I really don’t care what fans or bloggers think. Fans have an emotional connection to a team. I don’t. That’s why I can look at a situation more objectively.

'Member? Well, he might not "care" what we think but he sure doesn't have any problem telling us precisely what he thinks we should think.

But there should be a symbolic gesture from the fans that although they’ll forgive, they can’t forget the recklessness of those entrusted with building as well as protecting the sport.

When the NHL returns, every fan should stand up in their seats and turn their backs away from the action for the first couple minutes of the first game back.

Do what they did to you.

Turn your backs on them.

He's just keeping it real. I mean, come on, that's a solution right there. That's, what...viable. JFC. Be pissed. Whine a bit. Don't watch if you don't want to. But spare me the drama, princess. That's just dumb.

Ok then. Welcome back hockey. Welcome back, 19. Welcome back joy and puppies, a few hookers and some cheap, warm PBR to wash it all down. Look elsewhere for numbers related to the new CBA. I don't care about them.

The road to 12 starts, finally....now.