Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Did You Wake Last Night To The Sound of Thunder, Blues Fans? Don’t Fret. Our Serial Killer’s Out

This made me weepy.

I tried, people, I really tried to be a REAL hockey fan. Briefly. If it ain’t the Wings, I just dont give a shit.

 

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 03:12 PM ET

That pretty much sums it up.  Hockey's been on all day, allegedly. They raised their 8th seeded banner in LA before the heavily-favored-to-repeat Kings got smoked by the third-best team in the Central.  They renewed hostilities in Pennsylvania and I'll bet Rosby's been touched exactly once...by Gary Bettman, most likely.

And I tried to watch. Honestly. I wanted to be a good citizen.  But in the end?

I couldn't because--like Dougie--I just don't give a shit about the NHL, about hockey, about the purity of our sport and our precious league. 

Nope. All I really care about is Detroyet is playing hockey again.  The Blues will raise their Central Division yellow sticky in some corporately sponsored arena tonite and the Wings will watch and chortle.  They've been through these before...many, many times.  Division winners.  That's...nice.

The Wings are back, and they're back tonite.  Other hockey happens, I guess. And that's ok.  But it's all static.  It's all boring.  To us, and to millions.  You either love our Wings because baby Jesus decreed it, or you hate them because Detroit's owned your team for decades and months and days. 

St. Louis is a favorite, boy. And the Wings? Oh woe is us.  Like Jenny said earlier, everyone's all sad-face when they talk about us.  "This is the year, sigh..."  Ok.  Bookmark that shit.  Bookmark the naysayers.  

Say it again. St. Louis is a favorite.  That is awesome.  The little kids who could, who tried, who found so much regular season glory last year only to see a standard end to a normal Blues season, Cup-free again.

So raise that banner tonite, little Bitter ones. Raise the division crown high, high, high.  Bellow at it and shake your fists, Blues fans.  What an achievement.

Bullet Bob says not to worry because nothing's more fun to slap around than the Awkward Teenage Blues.  Take them out past the cornfield where the woods got heavy and give them the back of your hand.  Because division titles don't mean jack shit, Sally.  

Big brother's in town. Again.  It's a Live Blog, bitches.

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Comments

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WestWing's avatar

You my friend have a great memory… or you’ve been consulting Sylvia Browne.  “You were a princess in Mesopotamia and died a horrible death.”

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 10:07 PM ET

I can take no credit for having a good memory.  Just something I heard on FSD over intermission, I think.  What the fuch was I talkin about anyway?

Oh look, another goal.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 11:10 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Hate to say I told you so.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 11:10 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

goalie change. told ya

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/19/13 at 11:10 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

There’s a lot of guys who owe Jimmy several rounds.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 11:10 PM ET

MacPhisto's avatar

I hope Jimmy tells Holland that he’ll never play a game for this organization again.

Posted by MacPhisto from Hungary on 01/19/13 at 11:10 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

The sad part is that Howard has been our best player.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/19/13 at 11:11 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

do da blues get a hat trick? mick was saying before the game we were not seeing enough of them.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/19/13 at 11:12 PM ET

monkey's avatar

No, it’s probably your football

Wings have been brutalizing the poor thing.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/19/13 at 11:12 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

There’s a lot of guys who owe Jimmy several rounds.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 10:10 PM ET

You’re not suggesting they shoot him to spare him the misery of this season are you?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 11:12 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Look on the bright side… it isn’t often that Howard drops by the Hasek.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 11:12 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

So I can’t wait for the Red Wings to start playing tomorrow.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 11:13 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Our PK for the season is ar 25%, while our PP is rolling along at a 0% rate.

Why do I have a strange feeling that 95% of the comments in the LB’s after February 1st will be about the 2013 draft class?

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/19/13 at 11:13 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Fix ur fuchin visor kronwall it doesnt look as cool when lids isnt next to you!!!

Posted by pgoody on 01/19/13 at 11:13 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

The season will turn on the game Monday night vs Columbus.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/19/13 at 11:13 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

You’re not suggesting they shoot him to spare him the misery of this season are you?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 10:12 PM ET

Well, if they did themselves in…. at least if would force Kenny to make a move.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 11:14 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

How long until Howard fights Babcock, storms out the ice and is traded next week?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 01/19/13 at 11:14 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Maybe this is just some bizarre pre-planned tribute to #5.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 11:15 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

I think the Chief must fell into an alcohol induced shock.

I don’t blame him.

I’m going watch the auction, I ve had all the bludgeoning I can take.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 11:15 PM ET

SoDakWIngNut's avatar

Two goals too late for Gus to finally get the call. Jimmah was skating in slo-mo. I am getting the same sinking feeling I had game one when the Lions lost to the Falcons and we suffered through a four month long 0-16 nightmare.

I am gonna get a refund for my Center Ice if the BJ’s make our beloved Wings look this bad on Monday night.

Posted by SoDakWIngNut from Rapid City, SD on 01/19/13 at 11:15 PM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

Who ever said that Jimmy Howard would feel more rubber than a Detriot Hooker on pay day this year was right on.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 01/19/13 at 11:15 PM ET

Bent's avatar

How long until Datsyuk hops on the plane back to russia?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 01/19/13 at 11:15 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Thanks for caring Tootoo.  At least somebody has a sense of pride on this team.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 11:15 PM ET

RWBill's avatar


The season will turn on the game Monday night vs Columbus.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 01/19/13 at 10:13 PM ET

And I mean for better or worse.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 01/19/13 at 11:16 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Ten minutes?  Are you fuching kiddin?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 11:16 PM ET

monkey's avatar

This is only one game. Small sample size.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/19/13 at 11:16 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Wait, WTF did Tootoo do?  A fuchin penalty?!?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 01/19/13 at 11:16 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

2 minutes for wearing red eh?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/19/13 at 11:16 PM ET

calquake's avatar

At least the rack behind the bench has been consistent.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 11:17 PM ET

Bent's avatar

2 minutes for wearing red eh?

It’s up to 10 now.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 01/19/13 at 11:17 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Small sample size.

That’s what she said.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 11:18 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Well, if they did themselves in…. at least if would force Kenny to make a move.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 10:14 PM ET

Don’t be too sure.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 11:18 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

That is the most inexplicable 10-minute misconduct I’ve ever seen.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 01/19/13 at 11:19 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Absolute domination of the faceoff circle

Posted by pgoody on 01/19/13 at 11:19 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Don’t be too sure.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 10:18 PM ET

We like our team.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 11:19 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

10 4 -2-2?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/19/13 at 11:19 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Oh look.  Wings trying to be pretty and lose the puck.

Ho hum

Rinse repeat

My glass is empty ya’ll hold down the fort

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 11:19 PM ET

monkey's avatar

What Smith did- is that legal? What do you call that? Stiff arming?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 01/19/13 at 11:19 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Fetisov looks feistier than usual.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 01/19/13 at 11:19 PM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

Update 8-4 Griffins after 2.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 01/19/13 at 11:19 PM ET

calquake's avatar

As bad as this is, I don’t think Lids would have made a difference.  This is a total team failure… from Babs on down.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 11:20 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com