Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Did You Wake Last Night To The Sound of Thunder, Blues Fans? Don’t Fret. Our Serial Killer’s Out

This made me weepy.

I tried, people, I really tried to be a REAL hockey fan. Briefly. If it ain’t the Wings, I just dont give a shit.

 

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 03:12 PM ET

That pretty much sums it up.  Hockey's been on all day, allegedly. They raised their 8th seeded banner in LA before the heavily-favored-to-repeat Kings got smoked by the third-best team in the Central.  They renewed hostilities in Pennsylvania and I'll bet Rosby's been touched exactly once...by Gary Bettman, most likely.

And I tried to watch. Honestly. I wanted to be a good citizen.  But in the end?

I couldn't because--like Dougie--I just don't give a shit about the NHL, about hockey, about the purity of our sport and our precious league. 

Nope. All I really care about is Detroyet is playing hockey again.  The Blues will raise their Central Division yellow sticky in some corporately sponsored arena tonite and the Wings will watch and chortle.  They've been through these before...many, many times.  Division winners.  That's...nice.

The Wings are back, and they're back tonite.  Other hockey happens, I guess. And that's ok.  But it's all static.  It's all boring.  To us, and to millions.  You either love our Wings because baby Jesus decreed it, or you hate them because Detroit's owned your team for decades and months and days. 

St. Louis is a favorite, boy. And the Wings? Oh woe is us.  Like Jenny said earlier, everyone's all sad-face when they talk about us.  "This is the year, sigh..."  Ok.  Bookmark that shit.  Bookmark the naysayers.  

Say it again. St. Louis is a favorite.  That is awesome.  The little kids who could, who tried, who found so much regular season glory last year only to see a standard end to a normal Blues season, Cup-free again.

So raise that banner tonite, little Bitter ones. Raise the division crown high, high, high.  Bellow at it and shake your fists, Blues fans.  What an achievement.

Bullet Bob says not to worry because nothing's more fun to slap around than the Awkward Teenage Blues.  Take them out past the cornfield where the woods got heavy and give them the back of your hand.  Because division titles don't mean jack shit, Sally.  

Big brother's in town. Again.  It's a Live Blog, bitches.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

« Previous        < 1 2 3 4 >  Last ›      Next »

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Hey Bitches - - Im in

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 08:03 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

I wish that Nyquist could be brought up and put on a second line with Dats.

Welcome back Ken, Mick, and you drunk bastard Murph.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/19/13 at 08:03 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Ah Mickey… we missed you so much.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 08:04 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Good grief - - relying on E-52 - - gives me cold sweats

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 08:04 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

No winky.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 08:04 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Ah, its so good to hear Mickey’s voice again.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 08:04 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I’m mixing Old Milwaukee with orange juice make me an alcoholic or a dedicated fan?

I’d say you’re a dedicated… alcoholic.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 08:06 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Unfortunately I’m sharing an apartment with my daughter so I can’t enjoy the games pantsless anymore.

Clearly you’re not from the south.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 08:06 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

I’d say you’re a dedicated… alcoholic.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 08:06 PM ET

I actually tastes pretty good…. not sure if thats a good thing.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 08:08 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Clearly you’re not from the south.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 08:06 PM ET

Ha ha….born and raised a MIchigander…bout 30 miles north of GR

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 08:08 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Unfortunately I’m sharing an apartment with my daughter so I can’t enjoy the games pantsless anymore.

Clearly you’re not from the south.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 08:06 PM ET

+19.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 08:09 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Why aren’t they in the same room? Fear of mono?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 01/19/13 at 08:09 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

John Keating… awkward as always.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 08:10 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Jesus.  Keatings talking about mickey’s wood

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/19/13 at 08:10 PM ET

Mandingo's avatar

Was that Ken and Mick segment live?

If so, man, there is NO ONE in that arena.

Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 01/19/13 at 08:11 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I actually tastes pretty good…. not sure if thats a good thing.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 08:08 PM ET

Tastes good is always important.  Good taste however is another matter. cheese

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 08:11 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Jesus.  Keatings talking about mickey’s wood

And was smiling about it too - - d’oh

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 08:11 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Bar Keep, what was that concoction we were drinking last year, it had NyQuil and something else that gave it a nice kick.

Give me one of them.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/19/13 at 08:12 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I’m mixing Old Milwaukee with orange juice

The Detroit version of Blue Moon.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 08:13 PM ET

Paul's avatar

I hope everyone survived the lockout.  Welcome back boys and girls too.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 01/19/13 at 08:13 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Jesus.  Keatings talking about mickey’s wood

Damn encouraging to know that Mick still has wood

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 08:13 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Bar Keep, what was that concoction we were drinking last year, it had NyQuil and something else that gave it a nice kick.

I do believe the added ingredient was Windex and it was a Cosmic Dust martini.  Right Kate?

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 08:14 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

hitch put on a few extra pounds during the lockout?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/19/13 at 08:15 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

I hope everyone survived the lockout.  Welcome back boys and girls too.

Thanks.  You’re assuming of course I survived of course

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 08:15 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Bar Keep, what was that concoction we were drinking last year, it had NyQuil and something else that gave it a nice kick.

NyQuil and Windex.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 08:15 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Damn encouraging to know that Mick still has wood

Would never trade it for that damn composite.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 01/19/13 at 08:15 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Murph is absolutely wasted.  And those glasses don’t help.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/19/13 at 08:16 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Drop the fuching puck already

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/19/13 at 08:16 PM ET

calquake's avatar

hitch put on a few extra pounds during the lockout?

How can you tell?  Does he have a triple chin now?

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 08:16 PM ET

Avatar

Was that Ken and Mick segment live?

If so, man, there is NO ONE in that arena.

I was wondering the same thing.  Though it’s looking like this 8:00 game isn’t starting until 8:30 at the earliest, so maybe it doesn’t matter.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 01/19/13 at 08:16 PM ET

Zqto's avatar

LETS GO RED WINGS!!!

Posted by Zqto on 01/19/13 at 08:17 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I do believe the added ingredient was Windex and it was a Cosmic Dust martini.  Right Kate?

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 08:14 PM ET

Yes sir!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 08:17 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

How can you tell?  Does he have a triple chin now?

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 08:16 PM ET

his waddle is a little more distinct

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/19/13 at 08:18 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Evening bitches…they still pour rum in this joint?

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 01/19/13 at 08:18 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

ARRRGH… DROP THE DAMN PUCK

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 08:18 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Pregame song is being sung.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/19/13 at 08:18 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Murph looks like Hamburgler with those glasses.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 08:18 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Murph is absolutely wasted.  And those glasses don’t help.

Obviously been hittin’ the NyQuil and Windex.  How many times do I have to tell you kids, don’t drink the fuchin blue liquid!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 08:18 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 08:11 PM ET

Touche’

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 08:19 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

The Detroit version of Blue Moon.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 08:13 PM ET

+19

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 08:19 PM ET

« Previous        < 1 2 3 4 >  Last ›      Next »

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Smileys

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Feed

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com