Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Did You Wake Last Night To The Sound of Thunder, Blues Fans? Don’t Fret. Our Serial Killer’s Out

This made me weepy.

I tried, people, I really tried to be a REAL hockey fan. Briefly. If it ain’t the Wings, I just dont give a shit.

 

Posted by dougie on 01/19/13 at 03:12 PM ET

That pretty much sums it up.  Hockey's been on all day, allegedly. They raised their 8th seeded banner in LA before the heavily-favored-to-repeat Kings got smoked by the third-best team in the Central.  They renewed hostilities in Pennsylvania and I'll bet Rosby's been touched exactly once...by Gary Bettman, most likely.

And I tried to watch. Honestly. I wanted to be a good citizen.  But in the end?

I couldn't because--like Dougie--I just don't give a shit about the NHL, about hockey, about the purity of our sport and our precious league. 

Nope. All I really care about is Detroyet is playing hockey again.  The Blues will raise their Central Division yellow sticky in some corporately sponsored arena tonite and the Wings will watch and chortle.  They've been through these before...many, many times.  Division winners.  That's...nice.

The Wings are back, and they're back tonite.  Other hockey happens, I guess. And that's ok.  But it's all static.  It's all boring.  To us, and to millions.  You either love our Wings because baby Jesus decreed it, or you hate them because Detroit's owned your team for decades and months and days. 

St. Louis is a favorite, boy. And the Wings? Oh woe is us.  Like Jenny said earlier, everyone's all sad-face when they talk about us.  "This is the year, sigh..."  Ok.  Bookmark that shit.  Bookmark the naysayers.  

Say it again. St. Louis is a favorite.  That is awesome.  The little kids who could, who tried, who found so much regular season glory last year only to see a standard end to a normal Blues season, Cup-free again.

So raise that banner tonite, little Bitter ones. Raise the division crown high, high, high.  Bellow at it and shake your fists, Blues fans.  What an achievement.

Bullet Bob says not to worry because nothing's more fun to slap around than the Awkward Teenage Blues.  Take them out past the cornfield where the woods got heavy and give them the back of your hand.  Because division titles don't mean jack shit, Sally.  

Big brother's in town. Again.  It's a Live Blog, bitches.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

42jeff's avatar

LGRW!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 06:58 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

OH hey Chief…so how much longer you got left?  I have 498 days until my service commitment for E-8 is up…then I think I’m done shortly after that.  23 years is enough for me…I’d sure as shit do it again though.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 06:59 PM ET

Rdwings28's avatar

first goal of the season???

I’ll take the new “C”. assists 13, 24

Posted by Rdwings28 on 01/19/13 at 07:00 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

first goal of the season???

I’ll take the new “C”. assists 13, 24

Posted by Rdwings28 on 01/19/13 at 06:00 PM ET

i’m down with that.

I’m all sadfaced thinking about how few goals will be waved off this year without Homer’s big glorious ass wreaking havoc on the league’s goalies.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 07:02 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

97.1 The Ticket Radio

pregame starts at 7:30pm although they are talking a little Wings now.

NHL is The Red Wings and 29 opponents.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/19/13 at 07:21 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Thanks, Chief. A GDT by Okie followed-up by a game day post and a LB post. … nice.
But this: ”Brass Monkey Alert”

So it got up to +39-degrees (F) here in central Wisconson today … in the middle of January? Yep.
But the winds, they be a blow’n now. The forecast?
Tonight’s low: -1 (with wind chill values between -10 and -20.)
Sunday’s high: +6 / Sunday night’s low: -9 (with wind chill values between -20 and -30.)
Monday’s “high”: -4 / Monday night’s low: -15
Tuesday’s high: 0 / Tuesday night’s low: -9
(National Weather Service - Mosinee, WI)
“Brass Monkey Alert”, indeed.
So as the reality of our hockey returns, so does the dead of winter in the Midwest …
… stay warm, my friends.
(BTW – how is it in Minot, jeff???)
L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/19/13 at 07:28 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

brass monkey!......that funky monkey!

Carlo the butcher gets one tonight against his old team.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 01/19/13 at 07:30 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

The Wings are back, and they’re back tonite.

And, that is all that really matters. My imaginary Bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 07:55 PM ET

The Hurricane's avatar

I’ll take Kronwall for the first goal of the season….one timer from way out.
What’s the word on Knuble?

Posted by The Hurricane on 01/19/13 at 08:01 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

NHL is The Red Wings and 29 opponents.....

and an *#$%@& commissioner and 30 LAME ASS owners who let this shit happen AGAIN.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, FUCH THE NHL.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 08:07 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

apparently calling an assh0le an assh0le is frowned upon in this establishment.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/19/13 at 08:08 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

NIVO from underpants gnome village

That hot dog sure looks good, but I am gonna wait till the first dollar hot dog night at the Joe to have dogs with the game. 

For the game tonight we have two gallons of beer from the local brew pub (Jasper Ridge) Jasper Stout, two bottle of wine by Barefoot wines for da wife. A few bricks of cheese, crackers, bag of Cheetos, bag of Fritos, potato chips with two types of dip, Salmon (grilled and smoked), Trout, Whitefish, Walleye, Beef Salami, olives, (black and green) a salsa dip with ground beef mixed in it, with corn chips to scoop. And my wife is still bringing things to eat while watching the game.

Game on.

Drop the puck already eh?

LGRW

 

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/19/13 at 08:10 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Hi Red Wing Fans,
Is it true we’re going to see our Red Wings on the ice tonight?  It’s been way tooooooooo long.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/19/13 at 08:19 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

Emmerton, just to bark at his detractors.

Nah.

Oh he’ll, it’s Pav.

Posted by MoreShoot on 01/19/13 at 08:24 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Red Wings Game FSD

Drop da puck.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/19/13 at 08:31 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Evening, bitches.  Apparently RWBill has been running a brothel during the lockout aboard the Hasek, we’ve cleaned up the bodily fluids but left the girls in the back parlour in case any of you want to don a Teletubbies costume and get nasty with them.

How to bootleg an NHL or TV stream safely:

1) Use a VPN - free ones are okay, pay ones are better. Do some google research on ones that don’t keep logs, so you will be truly anonymous in your usage.

2) “Sandbox” your web browser - free programs, like “Sandboxie”, will place your web browser in a completely virtual operating system to run and not allow any malware or viruses to infect your non-virtual operating system.  Paid programs, like “VMWare” will do the same thing for a price.  Once you close the “sandbox”/virtual browser’s window, all changes to your system are instantly deleted and discarded from memory.

3) Run “NoScript” (firefox) or similar plug-in to restrict scripting in your browser.  This is redundant when using a Sandbox, but better safe than sorry.  A bit of a hassle, you manually allow only the scripts necessary to watch the game.  Bye-bye pop-ups.  You should run a NoScript (or similar) plug-in even if you are not streaming.

4) Run “AdBlock Plus” (firefox) or similar plug-in to block all banner and pop-up ads.  If they get through “NoScript”, you can kill banner and pop-up ads with this type of plug-in.

5) Sit back and revel that exactly $0.00 of your money is going to pay Li’l Gary’s salary.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 01/19/13 at 08:38 PM ET

creasemonkey's avatar

Thanks TheRealYooper, was looking for a way to donkey punch Little Gary.

Posted by creasemonkey from sweet home san diego on 01/19/13 at 08:39 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Evening fellow gutter wallowing Detroyet Red Wing whores.  Great to see the Hasek stocked up and ready make its flaming journey to Stresstown.

Unlike many of you, I was curious to see how NBC would coddle Rosby’s nuts on his triumphant return after saving the season.  They did not disappoint.  Unlimited gratuitous close ups and of course the obligatory exposé during the intermission.  The only player featured of course.

I’m also watching The Captain’s team play right now.

 

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/19/13 at 08:42 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

So it got up to +39-degrees (F) here in central Wisconson today … in the middle of January? Yep.
But the winds, they be a blow’n now. The forecast?
Tonight’s low: -1 (with wind chill values between -10 and -20.)
Sunday’s high: +6 / Sunday night’s low: -9 (with wind chill values between -20 and -30.)
Monday’s “high”: -4 / Monday night’s low: -15
Tuesday’s high: 0 / Tuesday night’s low: -9
… (National Weather Service - Mosinee, WI)
“Brass Monkey Alert”, indeed.
So as the reality of our hockey returns, so does the dead of winter in the Midwest …
… stay warm, my friends.
(BTW – how is it in Minot, jeff???)
L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/19/13 at 06:28 PM ET

Ho ho ho..you make me smile.  It got up to 3 today.  RIght now it’s -5…to get down to -19.

The high tomorrow is NEGATIVE *#$%@& 10.  Yes.  -10.  Holy crap of a high. The low tomorrow night is forecast as -24.

Of course in the midst of ALL of this will be gusts up to 60 mph.  Good times.  smile

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 08:43 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

So what’s on everybody’s menu tonight?

Venison butterflys, salad and corn on the cob (picked out of the field the deer came out of even)

And then of course there’s Captain Morgan and Mountain Dew.  To be followed later probably by shots of Tequila with BBBBB tears.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 08:45 PM ET

utahgentile's avatar

Thanks for the link Yooper

Posted by utahgentile from the land of white and delightsome people on 01/19/13 at 08:45 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Got Gamecenter, watching on TV via Xbox, and it looks amazing.

Looking forward to live blog this stupid season with you, pals.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 01/19/13 at 08:45 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

LINK UP!

http://www.thefirstrow.eu/watch/164173/1/watch-detroit-red-wings-vs-st.-louis-blues.html

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 08:49 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

So Bert got the aids and will be out a few weeks.  The “season” hasn’t even started yet and we’re dealing with this shit already.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/19/13 at 08:50 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Got Gamecenter

have always wanted to do gamecenter but living within the zone, even thought I live 8-12 hours away from the Joe, depending on the weather, it is just not an option.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/19/13 at 08:50 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

So I was wondering what we’re going to call that Datsyuk-Z-Brunner line

hows aboot

“HOLY SHIT DID YOU JUST *#$%@& SEE THAT HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP!”

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 08:52 PM ET

The Hurricane's avatar

Tootoo always looks like he’s on the verge of tears…maybe we should call him EskimOprah…

Damn I need this game to start.

Posted by The Hurricane on 01/19/13 at 08:54 PM ET

Chet's avatar

i have uverse in los angeles and had no idea they don’t carry center ice or nhl network.

there’s a package i have that allowed me to get local channels like FSD for $7/mo, so of course i signed up, but of course they black out games.

GOD DAMN THE NHL and AT&T. i do NOT have time to deal with this today.

Posted by Chet from twitter: thegansen on 01/19/13 at 08:55 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Feed

http://www.thefirstrow.eu/watch/164173/1/watch-detroit-red-wings-vs-st.-louis-blues.html

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 08:55 PM ET

calquake's avatar

So what’s on everybody’s menu tonight?

I’m a bit of a purist so all I want is a tall glass of BBBBB tears followed by Crown Royal Black neat.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 08:57 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Oh you’ll get a bunch of BS popups from the start, and the close “X” thingy’s are kinda small and sometimes in wierd places…but whenyou finally dig your way through them and see a control bar on the botom, you can stretch it full screen and you won’t see any more of the popups.

You can also Alt-Tab out of it back to A2Y and alt-tab back with no difficulty

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 08:57 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Already hearing whining from teams that have lost today about the 6 day training camp.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/19/13 at 08:58 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Great to be back in the Hasek with all you bitches. I am glad to see I am in the majority, not wearing pants. Voox, where did you say the heroin was stashed?

Wings first goal: Filppula

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/19/13 at 08:58 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Crown Royal Black neat.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 07:57 PM ET

I used to be a Crown Royal guy.  Had a liquor store clerk friend of mine direct me to Canadian Hunter…which with a little research revealed that it IS Crown Royal..just bottled on a different day and into a cheap plastic bottle…at half the cost.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 08:58 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Don’t know if anyone saw this, but Tyler said Brunner is the adult Doug Funnie:

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 01/19/13 at 08:59 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I am glad to see I am in the majority, not wearing pants. Voox, where did you say the heroin was stashed?

Wings first goal: Filppula

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 01/19/13 at 07:58 PM ET

Unfortunately I’m sharing an apartment with my daughter so I can’t enjoy the games pantsless anymore.

I’m there with you guys in spirit though.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 01/19/13 at 08:59 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 01/19/13 at 07:58 PM ET

I’ll have to see if I can find that out here in LaLa land.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 09:00 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Aloha bitches

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/19/13 at 09:02 PM ET

calquake's avatar

The Bitches is back… Hooya.

Posted by calquake on 01/19/13 at 09:02 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Whats up bitches?  I’m kicking the hockey season off right with a cold.  Does the fact that I’m mixing Old Milwaukee with orange juice make me an alcoholic or a dedicated fan?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 01/19/13 at 09:03 PM ET

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Smileys

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Feed

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com