Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Come To Poppa

The Detroit Red Wings have been in the Western Conference for like, I don't know, 30 years. Something like that.  The specifics escape me and most of you know the weight I give facts, anyway.

Well, there are a few--facts, that is--that I like to fall back on. They help me sleep.  They make me feel warm, almost like the Speed Racer footy pajamas I wore my freshman (and only) year at Northern Michigan.

One of those facts is this: the West has belonged to the Wings.  It is ours.  We own it.  I can say "we" because "we" have filled the western arenas. Every game. Every time Detroit's in town.  You've raised prices.  You've whined. You've written letters. And we still...kept...coming.

And the Wings, themselves, have dominated this conference.  Ruled it.  We are, literally, the "arch rival" of every team in the conference. They despise you, the 19.  And they fear them, the Wings.

The Western Conference has been Detroit's bitch from the jump. 

And, if it's all the same to you, I'd be pleased as piss-laced punch if we leave on the same arrogant note.

Oh, it's going to be hard.  The Detroit Red Wings have not faced a playoff opponent so heavily favored since the Oilers in the 80's and Philly in '97. 

And that will make it so much sweeter.  The Western Conference has belonged to the Detroit Red Wings because Baby Jesus decreed it.  He's not changing his stance now.

Bet against us.  Do it.  I like this team.  I like our chances.  And I like watching Joel Quenneville defecate himself.  I intend to see that 4 times in the next two weeks.

This is a Live Blog, bitches.

LGRW.  You just got in.  You just beat Anaheim.  Now take what's yours.

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Comments

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Red Winger's avatar

The Detroit Red Wings have not faced a playoff opponent so heavily favored since the Oilers in the 80’s and Philly in ‘97.

I’ll take the Philly in ‘97 result.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 05/15/13 at 07:28 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

We are not just happy to be here either…. this team has waddled and belly crawled thru shit all year to be here where we belong.
Like Monkey keeps saying, let’s burn this Conference down on the way out.
LGRW.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/15/13 at 07:32 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

thanks, Chief

LGRW.  You just got in.  You just beat Anaheim.  Now take what’s yours.

“Swagger” defined.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/15/13 at 07:33 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Yes, Chief!  A thousand times yes!

I believe.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/15/13 at 07:37 PM ET

monkey's avatar

It’s on now.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/15/13 at 07:37 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I NOW declare HUBRIS

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 05/15/13 at 07:37 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Like Monkey keeps saying, let’s burn this Conference down on the way out.

Burning down the house.  Burn, baby, burn.  Let’s burn this mother.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/15/13 at 07:39 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Go, Speed Racer, Go!

Posted by dougie on 05/15/13 at 07:40 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Thanks Chief! Howdy 19+

I’m in, I believe, Wings gotta keep showing everyone what their made of!

Plus it’s a special day today, so they gotta Win!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 05/15/13 at 07:43 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

At least NBC is piling on the Laffs meltdown.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/15/13 at 07:43 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Is it too much to ask to not hear that stupid song until Game 3?

Posted by dougie on 05/15/13 at 07:44 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

This is a Live Blog, bitches.

LGRW.  You just got in.  You just beat Anaheim.  Now take what’s yours.

Evenin’ Bitches, Command Master Chief.
City of the big shoulders, get ready. The Detroit Red Wings are your second round opponent. Only aboot 19 of us saw that one coming.

Let’s Roll. Motor City-style.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/15/13 at 07:45 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

ShaminahaminafuckdaCawksupimanialamania. I’m not sure what I’m doing, it just feels right. Evening’ bitches one and all <L.G.R.W>  Also why are maple leaf fans tears so goddamn sweet? I’m thinking it has something to do with syrup. . .

Posted by Yzersyuk on 05/15/13 at 07:45 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

True story with actual facts. Back in the early 2000’s, my wife and I received one of the Entertainment Books as a Christmas gift. A whole year of early bird 2 for 1 dinner coupons; great if you like eating dinner at 4:30pm. Also included was a 2 for 1 coupon to a Might Ducks game along with this fine print: “Not valid for playoff games or games against the Detroit Red Wings.”

Western Conference owners are going to be crying their eyes out next season. Think the LoseAPeg Jets are anywhere near the draw of the Red Wings? But will Eastern Conference owners see an uptick? Other than Flo-Rida, the YzerBolts and Carolina, probably not. The Great Detroit Diaspora spread South and West, not North and East. Besides, all those Northeast NHL teams already have loyal fan bases that fill their arenas for the most part. And why would anyone want to go see a game n Newark?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/15/13 at 07:45 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 05/15/13 at 07:47 PM ET

monkey's avatar

And why would anyone want to go see a game n Newark?

Sometimes doing your laundry again just doesn’t crack the nut.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/15/13 at 07:48 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Is it too much to ask to not hear that stupid song until Game 3?

It’s not too much to ask to never hear it.  I hereby proclaim Detroit will win in a zero goals allowed four game sweep, the first in NHL history.  Jesus told us it is our birth right.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/15/13 at 07:49 PM ET

Surfer Ken's avatar

“Let’s burn this Conference down on the way out”.
And then say “Later Bitches”

LETS GO RED WINGS

Posted by Surfer Ken from San Clemente on 05/15/13 at 07:50 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I NOW declare myself a 19

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/15/13 at 07:50 PM ET

Avatar

I like our chances.  Our fans own the rinks in the west.
I remember that late 80’s series against the Oilers.  Maybe, just maybe if the boy’s did not tie one on at that bar,  Probbie, Klima, etc… we would have upset them.  It still was an entertaining series.
Wings in 6.

Posted by Jeff from CO. on 05/15/13 at 07:51 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Posted by pgoody on 05/15/13 at 07:52 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

IS THERE AN INTERNET FEED ???  THE GROUNDS CREW CHOPPED MY MODEM IN HALF..  I’VE GOT IT PARTLY TWISTED BACK TOGETHER GOOD ENOUGH FOR INTERNET BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR CABLE TV APPARENTLY.

GOING TO GO OUT AND TRY TO GET ALL THE CENTER FEED AND BRAID TWISTED TOGETHER.

OH AND THERE’S A FUCHING BLACK WIDOW SPIDER THE SIZE OF A NICKEL SITTING THERE IN THE CABLE BOX BY THE ROAD.

F M L   JESUS LASHOFF !!!  BE BACK IN A COUPLE.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 05/15/13 at 07:52 PM ET

Zqto's avatar

LGRW!!!

Posted by Zqto on 05/15/13 at 07:52 PM ET

dougie's avatar

I NOW declare myself a 19

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/15/13 at 07:50 PM ET

I tried to warn you about the codeine, but NOOOOOO….........

Posted by dougie on 05/15/13 at 07:53 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

CHOPPED MY CABLE IN HALF,  NOT THE MODEM.  JESUS LASHOFF.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 05/15/13 at 07:53 PM ET

monkey's avatar

IS THERE AN INTERNET FEED ???  THE GROUNDS CREW CHOPPED MY MODEM IN HALF..  I’VE GOT IT PARTLY TWISTED BACK TOGETHER GOOD ENOUGH FOR INTERNET BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR CABLE TV APPARENTLY.

GOD DAMN IT

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/15/13 at 07:53 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

RWBill go to Radio Shack and get two twist on ends and a coupler.  the ends are really easy to put on.  probably should buy a wire stripper tool for coax.

HURRY

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/15/13 at 07:54 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Warn me?  You *#$%@& liar, you hooked me on this shit.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/15/13 at 07:54 PM ET

TKShreve's avatar

Gear Up Boys!!! It’s gonna be a knee-knockin’ barn burner!!!

GO WINGS!!!!!

Posted by TKShreve from East Uptown on 05/15/13 at 07:54 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

I NOW declare Sapphire n tonic to be rather tasty.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/15/13 at 07:54 PM ET

monkey's avatar

RWBill go to Radio Shack and get two twist on ends and a coupler.  the ends are really easy to put on.  probably should buy a wire stripper tool for coax.

HURRY

RUN FASTER

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/15/13 at 07:55 PM ET

dougie's avatar

THE GROUNDS CREW CHOPPED MY MODEM IN HALF..

I would shoot every Mexican in town, to make sure I got the right one.

Posted by dougie on 05/15/13 at 07:55 PM ET

Rdwings28's avatar

http://m.youtube.com/index?&desktop;_uri=%2
Why? Why? MR. anderson?

Posted by Rdwings28 on 05/15/13 at 07:55 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

I went to see the Wings in Tampa Bay the last time they came down here.  At least half the arena was decked out in the Winged Wheel.  Next day, the local media were complaining about how noisy the Wings’ fans were (Wings won 6-2) and some douche in the Bolts PR department said they will never allow that to happen again. Right.  I laughed my ass off.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/15/13 at 07:56 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Hola bitches - - I’m in.

No freaking passengers - - you know who I’m talking about, Walter.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 05/15/13 at 07:56 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

we’re gonna need some of this…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huwEWjvgu0w

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/15/13 at 07:57 PM ET

Pugna Vox's avatar

Wrapped up my message to Blackhawk fans today with:

“So, Chicago fans, I see a looooooooonnnnnnnngggg straw from Detroit to Chicago, where next to a deep-dish pizza a milkshake is being drunk up.”

Cry in the shower, swagger in public.

LGRW

Posted by Pugna Vox from Idiot Out Wandering Around on 05/15/13 at 07:58 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

And now the boys need to shove it down Milburys throat, commando whore style.
F*ck him.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/15/13 at 07:58 PM ET

Avatar

Good evening everyone!!!! LETS GET iT WINGSSSS!!!!!!! I concur…the west BELONGS TO US!!!  smile

Posted by Sketchy_princess on 05/15/13 at 07:58 PM ET

dougie's avatar

It would just be wrong to lose to a team with a goalie named Corey.

Posted by dougie on 05/15/13 at 07:58 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com