Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Checking In From Shanny’s Jig

Checking in on the iPhone with a few early notes:

- it’s damn good to be at a hockey game again, the sights, sounds, and even smells are second to none

- first session’s rule changes in brief:

1) hybrid icing: regular icing rules if race for puck; if not, linesman calls icing immediately.  tie goes to icing
this does work well. not perfect, but this rule has the interest of Jim Nill and the NCAA will be adopting it.

2) no change after off-side: came up a couple of times. not noticeable today.

3) crease reset rule: play called dead if attacking forward causing crease troubles. face-off at offensive blue line.
came up once, but you know if Homer would be here it would be a lot more.

4) face-off variation: puck on dot, ref blows whistle to start play.
this is horrible.  no battling for puck on draw and we’ve already seen a penalty call for delay of game for getting kicked out twice.

5) overtime variation: 3 mins x 3 = 4-on-4, 3-on-3, 2-on-2.
3-on-3 works, 2-on-2 doesn’t. too much a porno sideshow with lots of scoring and awkward roster changes. 
Jimmy D wants 5 mins of 4-on-4 and 5 mins of 3-on-3.  He’s not a fan of shoot-outs.  I commented most real hockey fans aren’t either.

6) Shoot-out variation:  Who cares?  Fuch the shootout.  As a fan, not a journalist, I walked out.  So did most NHL clubs’ reps.

7) shallow nets: net loses 4” of depth.  same dimensions for scoring area.
this works, early in the game a crushing check by a D-man took out a forward just behind the net.

Misc notes
:
fashion updates - most of the media, predictably, are dressed horribly.  dress shirts and shorts as outfits.  more tropical shirts and bad haircuts than a Jimmy Buffet concert.

- Bettman: Li’l Gary walked by me on the way in.  he was even more fashionably late than I.  I followed him in to see his reception.
You can tell he is both shrewd and powerful.  His gaze is seldom still and people notice him, despite his stature.  I also notice he is not that comfortable around people.
Li’l Gary spent a lot of time around the Wings braintrust, but Nill mostly ignored him except for brief comments.  I noticed Li’l Gary has two cell phones: a blackberry and a flip phone.
on the blackberry most of his recent calls were to Bill Daly, I didn’t see Sidney on his recent calls list, surprisingly. his wallpaper is with him and his family, like a normal guy.  I couldn’t tell if Satan was in the shot, however. 

- I was watching the game beside Bryan Murray.  I was admittedly a bit nervous, as I was in between him and the Leafs’ management bunker at the end of the rink.  what if the sniper Burke hired was not a crack shot?  dangerous place to stand.

- speaking of Burke, dressed in a gray hoodie he prefers to sit with the media rather than the other clubs.  he likes to surround himself with people ready to quote him at all times

- Burke came over to the club area briefly, ignoring Bryan Murray.  he spent a long time talking with Bettman.  for a while Li’l Gary was browsing on his blackberry.  Burke was showing him Facebook photos of taking Schenn and Kessel on a fishing trip to “man them up”.  Gary LOL’d.

- there was a buzz among Toronto’s media.  we haven’t had hockey played in warm months for a long time around here.

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Comments

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WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Thanks for the updates bitch.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 08/18/10 at 02:54 PM ET

YzermanZetterberg's avatar

Great stuff. Thanks for the update.

BTW, I’m hoping you meant Burke took Schenn and Kessel fishing, not Klessel. Although we all know the wedding singer could use some “manning up.”

Posted by YzermanZetterberg on 08/18/10 at 02:56 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

fashion updates

Jeebus Crites. If you start commenting on how nice the purses are…...

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 08/18/10 at 02:58 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

he is not that comfortable around people.

That was my impression based on the few unfortunate times I have had to look at him.

Thanks for the updates and reports on individuals.

Bitch.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/18/10 at 03:01 PM ET

Andy from FightNight's avatar

Great update Voox. Seems like you’re doing a great job! Keep it up! And have fun!

Posted by Andy from FightNight on 08/18/10 at 03:03 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

So icing in the last minute if facing a team with its goalie pulled will be called immediately, like college.  That will add a few seconds of 6x5 for the team trailing.

Otherwise it’s up to the ref to determine if there is a competitive pursuit for the puck so the pursuing player has time to line up and crack the leading skater into next week.  Not sure I like keeping that rule.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/18/10 at 03:05 PM ET

Avatar

Thanks a bunch VooX.

Posted by NathanBC on 08/18/10 at 03:05 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I hope you enjoy your iphone, enough Chinese have committed suicide making them.  I can’t wait to get one if they open it up to other wireless carriers.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20100818/D9HLUQ100.html

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/18/10 at 03:07 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

the tiny leader of large men who play hockey.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 08/18/10 at 01:06 PM ET

Or if he has to stand on a crate so that he can look you in the eye.
Posted by Amerinadian from Chicago via Toronto on 08/18/10 at 01:09 PM ET

Jeebus this Joint is in Round 1 form 6 weeks before the season starts.

AND we’ve got v00x (w00t!) planted inside the circle of trust.

LMAO.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/18/10 at 03:10 PM ET

GrahamWIIM's avatar

there was a buzz among Toronto’s media.  we haven’t had hockey played in warm months for a long time around here.

As a Torontonian by birth, that line made me laugh. I still remember all of the crap I took from Leaf fans in the ‘90s. Like Lebron, I made a list.

Posted by GrahamWIIM from Chicago via Toronto on 08/18/10 at 03:12 PM ET

Chris from NOHS's avatar

Awesome.

Posted by Chris from NOHS from Columbus, OH/Grand Rapids, MI on 08/18/10 at 03:13 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Outstanding, VooX(exclamation point).

This:

7) shallow nets: net loses 4” of depth.  same dimensions for scoring area.
this works, early in the game a crushing check by a D-man took out a forward just behind the net.

I like it.  More room for Datsyuk to work his stickhandling magic.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 08/18/10 at 03:22 PM ET

Paul's avatar

Good job VooX.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 08/18/10 at 03:28 PM ET

Alzy's avatar

Awesome VooX, keep it coming.

Why can’t there just be no-touch icing? Do they honestly think people get THAT excited with icing races? The only times I’ve seen the crowd buzz on TV for one is when a player gets horrifically injured.

No change after an offside: Meh, I don’t think it would have much of an effect to be honest.

I can already see what the crease reset would do, and I absolutely hate it. Goaltenders will come out to the top of the crease, run into Homer and play would be stopped. They already get away with it half the time by making Homer get a goaltender interference penalty, this would take care of the other half. Total BS in my opinion.

The faceoff idea sounds pretty horrid, as VooX stated. What is this? High school floor hockey? Even my buddies and I drop the ball for faceoffs when we play street hockey.

You’re damn right on shootouts bartender. Jimmy D has the idea I’d like to see tested though. I’m convinced you could determine a winner with that OT format.

The net idea is interesting. Would create more space for playmakers like Dangle, Thronton, Savard, etc. What’s the net like though? I wonder if it’s like those really old street hockey nets, where the ball would bounce out like a projectile because the net is secured so tightly.

Posted by Alzy from Cambridge, Ontario, Canada on 08/18/10 at 03:30 PM ET

stayouttamalibu's avatar

Thanks for the updates dude. Is there a way to “accidentally” physically assault Little Gary?

Posted by stayouttamalibu from California on 08/18/10 at 03:35 PM ET

SYF's avatar

The net idea is interesting. Would create more space for playmakers like Dangle, Thronton, Savard, etc. What’s the net like though? I wonder if it’s like those really old street hockey nets, where the ball would bounce out like a projectile because the net is secured so tightly.

Posted by Alzy from Innisfail, Alberta, Canada on 08/18/10 at 02:30 PM ET

Word.  It may make for more video reviews as well.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 08/18/10 at 03:40 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

more space behind net - good idea.

face offs like pond hockey slapping twigs together and on the ice?

“one shinny, two shinny, three shinny GO!”

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/18/10 at 03:43 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Great update Voox.

more tropical shirts and bad haircuts than a Jimmy Buffet concert.

You say that like it is a bad thing.  Is Lil Gary in a Hawaiian shirt?  That paints a bad picture for me….a short version of Hunter Thompson.  Buuwww….

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 08/18/10 at 04:11 PM ET

VooX's avatar

just spend 40 minutes picking Jim Nill’s brain.

More to follow.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 08/18/10 at 04:12 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

more tropical shirts and bad haircuts than a Jimmy Buffet concert.

Oooooh, don’t let Rumbear and the San Diego posse hear you say that…

Seriously though, well done Man About Town.  Or should that be Man Aboot Town?

Enough with the icing debate, there’s still room in that interpretation for smashing the lead skater into the boards and ending his season.  Just bring back no-touch and nobody gets hurt, especially by me.

But the crease rule…that makes it in and the tinfoil hats will be out in force.  Anything to neutralize whatever advantages and new ideas our Genius Braintrust comes up with.  You just KNOW something like that has Holmstrom and Wings’ Net-Front Screen written all over it.

Try not to let all the lawyers give you hives.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 08/18/10 at 04:17 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

You say that like it is a bad thing.

Y’see?  Y’SEE?!?

On your own head be it—you’re now persona non grata in Margaritaville.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 08/18/10 at 04:18 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Good info.
Keep the updates coming, barkeep.

Waiting for your ‘Nill Report’.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 08/18/10 at 04:22 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Thanks to the 19 for all the kind words, thoughts, well-wishes and so on.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  As full of epic juvenile bluster as most of you tend to be, when the chips are down and times are hard, you bitches are a class act!  Got some trolls who could learn a thing or two from you if only they could extract their skulls from their anal cavaties long enough to come up for some fresh air.

As you can imagine, it’s a very difficult time for all of us.  For me, getting away briefly to check in here is a much-needed dose of, well i’m not sure what really, but hell I can only assume most of you know that the hell I’m talkin about or else you wouldn’t frequent these virtual pages so much yourselves.

I love the idea of Mt. Punchmore and Mt Crushmore.  I agree with Andrew though: no way Gordie would not be included on both of those as well.  A variation on the “Gordie Howe hat trick”.  Maybe we should add Mt. Whinemore, Mt. Divemore and Mount Bettman More, thereby creating a Rosby hat trick.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 08/18/10 at 04:25 PM ET

VooX's avatar

6 minutes with Gary on tape. 

No punches pulled, but they did pull the plug on the interview when they realized I wasn’t going to stop asking questions.

I thanked him for spending time with me despite us saying bad things about him.

More later.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 08/18/10 at 04:37 PM ET

hiero4life's avatar

Great job Voox!!  I can’t wait for the updates.

Posted by hiero4life from anywhere i am on 08/18/10 at 04:52 PM ET

Primis's avatar

So where’s the f**ktard troll who was asking why nobody here ever interviews anyone?

Posted by Primis on 08/18/10 at 04:58 PM ET

SYF's avatar

VooX’s updates are like crack.  I’m jonesing for the next hit.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 08/18/10 at 05:01 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Atta boy VooX, well done barkeep.
I’m interested in the Jim Nill brain picking… not so much of the little Tyrant on a milk crate.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 08/18/10 at 05:03 PM ET

Aphaea's avatar

Thanks for the info, VooX.

6 minutes with Gary on tape.

If you play it backwards do you hear the sound of souls screaming from hell?

WestWing, I don’t post often and I didn’t get the chance earlier, but my condolences on your loss.

Posted by Aphaea on 08/18/10 at 05:07 PM ET

Stevis's avatar

his wallpaper is with him and his family, like a normal guy.  I couldn’t tell if Satan was in the shot, however.

Awesome.

I do like the icing races…but would be happy to do without them and have healthier players.  It’s a better game when Jobu gets less to eat.

Posted by Stevis on 08/18/10 at 05:09 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

6 minutes with Gary on tape.

Raided Rosby’s stash of home made porn did you?

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 08/18/10 at 05:14 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Burke was showing him Facebook photos of taking Schenn and Klessel on a fishing trip to “man them up”.  Gary LOL’d.

Outstanding.

Keep up the intel gathering.  Being that I sat next to you at H2H, I feel sort of like you learned from me.  So thank you AND you’re welcome.

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 08/18/10 at 05:15 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Most excellent, VooX (woot!)

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/18/10 at 05:25 PM ET

Andy from FightNight's avatar

Wow, this is sounding like we have an epic post to look forward too

Posted by Andy from FightNight on 08/18/10 at 05:28 PM ET

Twig in Houston's avatar

i have to say, being a hockey fan/player for about 20 years, i feel dirty having icing explained to me.

Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 08/18/10 at 05:29 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

If they let me at Bettman for a full six minutes and I came away saying “I pulled no punches”, I’d probably spend a long time in jail after that.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/18/10 at 05:50 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

Nice work, Voox…
This is better than a wet dream.

Background tells me it is likely they will implement the bad changes,
and ignore the good ones.  We should all begin lowering our expectations
regarding the outcome of this.

On little gary, I hope your 6 minutes is material for at least 12 postings in the future.

If he has not blacklisted you yet, perhaps next time you could set him up for a
sexual harassment lawsuit.  I think that would result in a forced resignation.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 08/18/10 at 05:58 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

6 minutes with Gary on tape.

must’ve seemed like an eternity ...
film at 11.

Great scoops, VooX. (Hey, that rhymed. wOOt(!))

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 08/18/10 at 06:06 PM ET

GrahamWIIM's avatar

The real question is who was harder on Bettman: VooX or Ron Maclean?

Posted by GrahamWIIM from Chicago via Toronto on 08/18/10 at 06:33 PM ET

FranzensMouthguard's avatar

3) crease reset rule: play called dead if attacking forward causing crease troubles. face-off at offensive blue line.
came up once, but you know if Homer would be here it would be a lot more.

Oh please no, this would destroy homers effectiveness.

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 08/18/10 at 07:06 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com