Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Burn Down The West

Syd Crosby earned his first Messier Leadership Award Nomination in 1998 at the tender age of 11.  Naturally, his glorious NHL career wouldn't start for another 3 years, but Gary Bettman felt his future endeavors warranted the nomination.  The fact that the award hadn't been invented yet was inconsequential to the diminutive commissioner.

Ten years later, Crosby lost his "C" after a then-future Red Wing captain emasCulated him.

We used to dig Jonathan Toews.  He reminded us of another former Captain. The number, the demeanor, the commitment.  He was the sole character guy on a team full of peckerheads.

Well.  That's gone, too.  Now he's just a bitch (with a Messier nomination) like Syd.  And you can blame Hank for that one, too.  Now Toews isn't event worthy of that cool-sounding name.  Taves...it just sounded smooth but tough at the same time.  A man's name.  Not a whining bitch's.

So we're taking the W away and he can't have a cool name anymore. Now he's just...Toes.  And you can play with that however you want. Whore style, if necessary.

Oh, the world is in disarray.  The unbeatable Hawks have been laid low. Not just Sunday, either.  The Wings outplayed them in the first period of Game 1 then went nappy nappy because Gary forced them to fly Disney, then back to Hockeytown, then back and all that.  Like 8 times.  Game 2 was pure domination and it was incredible to consider what lies ahead for the Wings (especially if a certain magician decides not to return home to mother Russia in 18 months or so).

Yes, Zetterberg shut down Toes.  Yes, Brunner has miraculously reappeared just when we needed him the most.  Yes, Wally seems to be actually playing.  Yes, Howard has been Howard. 

But this one belongs to Mike Babcock.  It might be one of the most daring, amazing coaching feats in recent history: Bertuzzi, Samuelsson, White, Tootoo...all sitting.  Make no mistake. They would be playing on any other team.  Not Babcock's. No.

You had last change, Joel?  What happened Joel?  Joel? You got on your bike, pedaled home and pulled out a Cosmo.  That's what. 

But that's done.  Game 2 is done and over with and if this were February we'd absolutely expect a total egg tonite.  But here's something interesting.  Where was the collapse?  Huh? Where was the third period meltdown that every single one of us knew was coming?  How does this team implode late against Anaheim, then batten down against a better team in Chicago?

Don't ask questions. Just don't.  The roof is coming off the Joe tonite.  Can you imagine that place with 90 seconds left, a Wing lead, a timeout and Journey blasting?  I know it's a cheesy song, but I love that scene.

Man, man, man. What an opportunity.  Do it Wings.  Burn this conference to the frigging ground.

It's a Live Blog, bitches.  11 to 12.

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Comments

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Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Smitty and Jimmah!


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/20/13 at 07:54 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

I didn’t know WestWing is a girl.

Me neither.  Had I known I might never have left the house.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:54 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Saad put sodomy on Smith.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 05/20/13 at 07:55 PM ET

calquake's avatar

He’s like a gay vampire, man-bear-pig baby.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Posted by calquake on 05/20/13 at 07:55 PM ET

Tony Perkis's avatar

I hear the Doors at the Joe.

I hear the Doors everywhere I go though.

Posted by Tony Perkis from Drinking at Robert's Lounge with Billy Batts on 05/20/13 at 07:55 PM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

More O-zone time please

Posted by MoreShoot on 05/20/13 at 07:55 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

“no traffic standing in front of Crawford”

except for those three hockey players, Edzo.  go hit a patch of ice.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/20/13 at 07:55 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Let’s try playing on the other side of the ice now for a bit.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Land of Ice and Snow on 05/20/13 at 07:54 PM ET

So far the kids are the only ones that have figured that out tonight

Posted by Hootinani on 05/20/13 at 07:55 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 05/20/13 at 07:53 PM ET

he had that “Gone to the Bahamas” look when he left.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 05/20/13 at 07:56 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Smith did a decent job recovering at least

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 05/20/13 at 07:56 PM ET

TKShreve's avatar

D is looking a little bit porous. c’mon boys.

Posted by TKShreve from East Uptown on 05/20/13 at 07:56 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Wings are just playing “rope a dope”. Cawks will wear themselves out, and we will pummel them

Posted by dougie on 05/20/13 at 07:56 PM ET

sapper78e's avatar

I don’t have any sound. Has Olcyzk said “the active stick of Jonathan Toews” yet?

Posted by sapper78e on 05/20/13 at 07:56 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

of course, no interference call for Seabrook checking Cleary into the net.  sheesh.  what ARE the refs watching out there?

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Seabrook is the next guy that needs to go head-first into the boards, hard.

Posted by Primis on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Wow.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

net is dislodged…WTF?

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Shit, there’s your first zebra suckage of the night (apologies to Kate)

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Bullshit!


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Nice that Seabrook got away with that.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

I don’t have any sound. Has Olcyzk said “the active stick of Jonathan Toews” yet?

yeah but it sounded like he had something in his mouth when he said it.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

I would kinda like to see Tootoo take a shift after that shit by seabrooke.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Thats usually the center ice refs call right??? Must have been looking for Karen…

Posted by pgoody on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

Tony Perkis's avatar

Hate Keith and Seabrook. They’re good, but shitstains nonetheless.

Posted by Tony Perkis from Drinking at Robert's Lounge with Billy Batts on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

If the refs arent gonna do their jobs, someone needs to dole out some beatings

Posted by Hootinani on 05/20/13 at 07:58 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

I’m so sick of these NHL linesmen playing “hahhaha you thought I was gonna drop the puck”

stop acting like schoolyard children and drop the *#$%@& thing

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/20/13 at 07:58 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Who is the dipshit linesman wearing #55?

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 05/20/13 at 07:58 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Get a goal, Buckets.  That’ll turn Semenbrook into a dyke.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 05/20/13 at 07:59 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

This is like a bad Oprah episode…

FREE CROSSCHECKS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by pgoody on 05/20/13 at 07:59 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Shit, there’s your first zebra suckage of the night (apologies to Kate)

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET


Feel free WestWing.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/20/13 at 08:00 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Nice non-call on Seabrook checking Cleary can over bucket into the goalpost.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 05/20/13 at 08:00 PM ET

SYF's avatar

yeah but it sounded like he had something in his mouth when he said it.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/20/13 at 07:57 PM ET

Like Roenick’s cock?

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 05/20/13 at 08:00 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Predictable

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 05/20/13 at 08:00 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

Nike almost made it

no slashing call, of course. 

but of course they call one against the Wings.

gonna be a looooong night.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/20/13 at 08:00 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Wow.. gonna be this kinda night?

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/20/13 at 08:00 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Hawks commit three whoppers in 30 seconds and you call that one.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 05/20/13 at 08:00 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Extreme zebra suckage!


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/20/13 at 08:01 PM ET

Avatar

What horseshit. Guess the refs have been told to give it to the Blackhawks tonight.

Posted by CJBear71 on 05/20/13 at 08:01 PM ET

sapper78e's avatar

Faux em, just kill the penalty.

Posted by sapper78e on 05/20/13 at 08:01 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

stick slashed outa Brooners hands ....no call.

Then Wings get tagged…

I call bullshit!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 05/20/13 at 08:01 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com