Abel to Yzerman

Abel to Yzerman

Breaking: Wings Now Suck

11/15/2016 at 6:00pm EST

Unconfirmed reports out of Detroit are disturbing at this hour. Events are fluid and happening fast and could rapidly change even as we bring you this report.

Here's what we know so far:

The Detroit Red Wings are terrible, according to sources close to the situation.

After like 8 years of striving for mediocrity in order to extend a streak that used to matter to many but now matters to one and only matters to him so that he has something on which to hang his hat to distract those who say he sucks, the team run and managed by Ken Holland is really bad.

A report from Detroit that is still sketchy in detail, but reeking of voracity points to a development that has one Luke Glendening on the second line.

Queries to hockey experts in a variety of pharmacies came back with a unanimous response: Luke Glendening on a second line is a tell-tale sign, proven over decades, that a team really sucks ass.

Again, that is speculation. We cannot confirm anything you saw above.

What we can confirm, and what we will confirm, is that what we have in front of us is a Live Blog.

I suggest you act accordingly.

Pessimism, combined with juvenile gallows humor, is not only authorized but encouraged.

LGRW.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that.

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