Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Blunt Objects Vs. Scalpels

The 19 are inundated with trolls daily.  And yet none of them are ever clever enough to really understand us and stick around.  After a while it becomes like picking on the slow kid.  You start to feel sorry for them because they will never get it.  Ever.

When I read certain comments in this post, I get pissed.  As always, I’m not one to refrain from telling anybody off. 

Especially when the trolls come out to play. 

Many trolls make fools out of themselves here at A2Y.  Just like this:

Posted by Go-Pens-66-68-87-71-11 on 08/16/10 at 04:34 PM ET
Anyway, Rosby hasn’t caught on anywhere other than on this stupid blog. No one calls him that. You guys have no clout whatsoever.

and this:


Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/16/10 at 08:38 PM ET
...If I were a Red Wings fan, I would probably be one of the 19 as well.
However, this instance of “Rosby” bashing was a little much, no? Really pulled out of thin air, doesn’t relate to anything, and sort of comes off as it was written by a redolent 15 year old. I understand bashing him after he starts a post-whistle scrum, but it’s pretty unnecessary and just meant to goad Pens fans into writing up clever “DeD Wingz” or “Datsuck” retorts. I shouldn’t be surprised though, since this was written by VooX. VooX tries so hard to be the Chief, and he ends up writing stuff like this. While using all of the Chief’s jokes. And using the same sentence structure. Every one of his posts just reeks of trying way too hard. But he gets his Pens fans out in full force, so I guess that’s all that matters in the slow summer months. It keeps the some of the fans here happy. I will keep reading this blog, but I will just hope that VooX writes a little less and the Chief writes a little more. The Chief is intelligent, and I get his schtick. I don’t need to read someone poorly imitate him.

I’ll address the Rosby thing in a minute, but first I want to talk to long-time A2Y douchebag, Link Gaetz.

I’m not a pharmacist, Link, I don’t bench 400 with my eyebrows, brah, but I am true to myself.  Always.  I come in swinging (ask the Douche Canoe) and I leave swinging (ask Pen(i)sblog). 

You say that if you were a Wings fan, you’d be one of the 19.  I guarantee you wouldn’t be, just ask Jimmy from Windsor about that.  You are too simple to ever be one of us, Link.  Too unrefined.

You may think we are trying to be someone else, but I’ve met the 19 and everyone is exactly the same people in a real bar as they are in our imaginary bar.  To be fair to you, Link, I imagine you are a douchebag in real life just as you are online.

So go ahead, copy our glossary, trolls.  Try and even use our words and jokes to be funny.  Just realize that you will never understand the 19.  Ever.

It’s no coincidence that Wings fans and bloggers are among the most articulate and passionate hockey fans in the world.  We’ve spent decades learning the most intelligent hockey system ever invented.  And we’re smarter than you for it.  Just read the 19’s comments any given day.  A2Y is the only news, sports, or personal blog anywhere that has more amazing material in the comments section than there is in the posts themselves. 

Someone asked why I didn’t go and blog for the Leafs now.  That’s impossible.  To go from watching the sublime hockey artistry of the Red Wings for the past twenty seasons, to the cesspool of contaminated hockey, the Maple Leafs/Loafs/Laffs, is impossible to do.

I would rather stab butter knives into my eyes than have to watch any other NHL team than the Red Wings on a regular basis.  If you show me a team who plays the game of hockey as beautifully as Detroit has for two decades, I would be a fan. Everyone here would be.  Problem is there are no other teams that can do it.  The 19 scout the teams with potential to play as well as the Wings, but they always fall short.  It’s cute like that.

Trolls will never understand the 19.  Just like Link Gaetz, they are too simple to truly comprehend Wings fans, especially the 19 here at A2Y.

The 19 don’t follow trends, we make our own. H2H will be copied by others, but they will never match the original.  Only hockey’s greatest fans and organ-I-zation could make that happen spontaneously.  And only the 19 call Sid “Rosby” because we are the wittiest bitches on the Gore.  Other blogs don’t pick up on Rosby, and we prefer it that way.  They’re fuching prehistoric compared to us, just like their fans.  They are Pronger.  We are Lidstrom.  Blunt Objects vs. Scalpels.

So spare me your new content filter, Kukla, I won’t need it.  I am the bartender.  I have a .357 on my waist and a sawed-off shotgun under the bar, and I won’t need them, either.  Because we’ve got 19 of the craziest bitches anywhere ready to slice and dice anyone who comes into our bar and makes an ass out of themselves.  Bring it on, douchebags, we will fuch you like Jobu.  The 19 are ready.  And waiting.  We are counting the Tuesdays until Lord Stanley comes home.  Is it October yet?

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Comments

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Guilherme's avatar

A2Y is the only news, sports, or personal blog anywhere that has more amazing material in the comments section than there is in the posts themselves.

True. Also true that the post themselves are usually so epic and awesome that I wait for some comments to give mine, ‘cause if I had to comment only the post… well, you’d read a lot of “wow”.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/17/10 at 01:31 AM ET

YYZerman's avatar

They are Pronger.  We are Lidstrom.


Amazing. I couldn’t have said it better.

Posted by YYZerman from Detroit, Michigan on 08/17/10 at 01:38 AM ET

Twig in Houston's avatar

ramirez! use your knife to make it october already!

Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 08/17/10 at 01:40 AM ET

The Hurricane's avatar

They are Pronger.  We are Lidstrom.

Amazing. I couldn’t have said it better.

This.

Posted by The Hurricane on 08/17/10 at 01:54 AM ET

Claude from Colorado's avatar

We are Lidstrom.

So someone hacked your balls off too?

Posted by Claude from Colorado on 08/17/10 at 02:36 AM ET

Seaner in Sharkville's avatar

So someone hacked your balls off too?

Posted by Claude from Colorado on 08/17/10 at 01:36 AM ET

Uh, yeah . . . That’s not a knife. Not around here.

Posted by Seaner in Sharkville from Silicon Valley on 08/17/10 at 03:32 AM ET

Alzy's avatar

Posted by Claude from Colorado on 08/17/10 at 01:36 AM ET

Nope, we just keep playing through the pain, we don’t don’t turtle like a bitch.

Epic awesomeness bartender.

Now for something completely different… does anybody here have any experience staying in the hotels around the Joe? I’m wanting to get an affordable (read: cheap) place for a few nights for H2H2, and I’ve seen quite a few pop up. Just hoping anyone can share their experiences, or if there’s any particular hotels/chains in Michigan to avoid.

Posted by Alzy from Cambridge, Ontario, Canada on 08/17/10 at 03:35 AM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Alzy, a lot of the people for H2H last year ended up staying at the Doubletree on Lafayette, but you’ll have to ask them how it is.  I got the impression they were pretty satisfied.  I expect there’ll be similar hotel arrangements this year.

A2Y is the only news, sports, or personal blog anywhere that has more amazing material in the comments section than there is in the posts themselves.

Absolutely.  Now, with Georgums on board, there’ll be only one site I’ll need for both my hockey news AND my hockey entertainment.  And yet, somehow, I can live with the idea I have no ‘clout,’ whatever the hell THAT means.  Yet you troolls’ (remember that one?) mere presence here trying to agitate us like some low-rent Sean Avery tells me that I have more power over you than you ever will over me.  Scalpels vs. clubs, motherf*ckers, Lidstrom vs. Pronger.  Learn the difference and then you’ll know why surgeons get far more respect than knuckle-dragging cavemen, and why one defenseman has six times the number of Norris Trophies as the other.

Rosby, bitches.  Because he’s not worthy of the ‘C.’  You only wish you could come up with something half as clever, instead you have to resort to idiotisms like ‘Datsuckface.’  Ha!  Good one!  Does it amuse the other kiddies on the playground?  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a place where they admit only adults to get to.  Bartender, pour me an early-morning eye-opener and don’t spare the good stuff.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 08/17/10 at 06:23 AM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Posted by Go-Pens-66-68-87-71-11 on 08/16/10 at 04:34 PM ET

Here’s a few numbers for you, kiddo:

1935-36 1936-37 1942-43 1949-50 1951-52 1953-54 1954-55 1996-97 1997-98 2001-02 2007-08

Look familiar?  Right up there on the banner.  Unlike you, I don’t have to resort to a few player numbers (including one where the player chose the number based on the year of his birth…lame).

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 08/17/10 at 06:29 AM ET

Baroque's avatar

Now for something completely different… does anybody here have any experience staying in the hotels around the Joe? I’m wanting to get an affordable (read: cheap) place for a few nights for H2H2, and I’ve seen quite a few pop up. Just hoping anyone can share their experiences, or if there’s any particular hotels/chains in Michigan to avoid.

Posted by Alzy from Innisfail, Alberta, Canada on 08/17/10 at 02:35 AM ET

Alzy, last year there were enough people coming that there was a block of rooms reserved at the Doubletree for the H2H group. Also, people who were traveling alone paired up with roommates (I roomed with Anne from Kansas). You can ask Jennyquarx if there will be similar arrangements this time, then you can split the cost of a room and also be with the group. smile

I know that when MoWings visits he grabs a room at the Holiday Inn Express downtown which is very close to the JLA. I stayed there the year before last and it was fine.

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 08/17/10 at 07:28 AM ET

Baroque's avatar

The trolls could save everyone a lot of time and energy, including themselves, if they could learn the difference between wanting to start a trend and having an inside joke. The first requires clout, the second doesn’t.

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 08/17/10 at 07:31 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Trolls

There’s a reason we say those guys liver in their momma’s basement: they behave like kids, 5 year old attention whores whose selective hearing wants to cause trouble at any cost.

I, for one, don’t mind much about trolls. Sure, they can be annoying (specially passive-agressive ones like Lindas1st), but usually it’s easy to ignore them and funny to read some stuff. That’s why I probably won’t use the new KK option of blocking people (not even TPSH, the blogging troll).

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/17/10 at 08:08 AM ET

Link_Gaetz's avatar

Wow, I am definitely honored by this. This made my morning.

Again, I’m not necessarily a troll. Like I said, I read the blog and have posted here before. I get it. I respect it. I was just offering my opinion, is all.

I could’ve came here using an anonymous user name and said some things about the Detroit economy or something really witty like that, but I didn’t. Glad to see you noticed, VooX.

I don’t really stand up for Crosby all that much here. I let 99% of the comments slide without even thinking twice about it. I just thought yesterday was a little ridiculous, so I gave my opinion.

Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/17/10 at 08:53 AM ET

Link_Gaetz's avatar

Also, you know exactly what you are doing when it comes to trolls. You want them here. If you didn’t want them here, you wouldn’t bring up the Penguins or Crosby in almost every single on of your posts. If I took the time to go back and read every post you’ve made for the past year or so, I bet you’d be batting in between .800 or .900 when it comes to referencing the Pens or Crosby is your posts. Then you play the “why won’t the trolls just leave us alone card.”

Like I said before, most of the time it’s funny (most of the “most of the time” is when the Chief does it). Just don’t complain about trolls when they come here though.

Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/17/10 at 09:02 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

I’ve met the 19 and everyone is exactly the same people in a real bar as they are in our imaginary bar.
by VooX on 08/17/10 at 12:15 AM ET (w00t!)

So friggin true!

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/17/10 at 09:41 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

My God who is this Idiot?  And has he ever actually read A2Y and it’s 1100 comments during a regular season game or 1500 comments on a single thread during the off season, and none of them were about her?

This is an example of a social misfit with no identity of his own trying to latch on and hang with the cool kids.

Fail.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/17/10 at 09:48 AM ET

redxblack's avatar

Alzy - When we go to games and spend the night, we cross the Ambassador and stay at the Hamton Inn in Windsor. It’s across the street from a Tim Hortons and a Beer World. Location, Location, Location.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 08/17/10 at 10:21 AM ET

Link_Gaetz's avatar

My God who is this Idiot?  And has he ever actually read A2Y and it’s 1100 comments during a regular season game or 1500 comments on a single thread during the off season, and none of them were about her?
This is an example of a social misfit with no identity of his own trying to latch on and hang with the cool kids.
Fail.
Posted by RWBill from Mike Modano’s dentist. on 08/17/10 at 08:48 AM ET

I wasn’t saying that the 19 bring up Crosby in 90% of their comments. I was saying VooX does in 90% of his posts.

Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/17/10 at 10:23 AM ET

YYZerman's avatar

I wasn’t saying that the 19 bring up Crosby in 90% of their comments. I was saying VooX does in 90% of his posts.

And what is your point?

We don’t like the little prat. I’m sure VooX would talk about all the other top players in the league if they were a D-Bag like Rosby was. And it’s not just us here at the 19 that think that, it’s all of his peers also. They voted him the biggest bitch in the league.

Posted by YYZerman from Detroit, Michigan on 08/17/10 at 10:40 AM ET

Twig in Houston's avatar

I wasn’t saying that the 19 bring up rosby in 90% of their comments. I was saying VooX does in 90% of his posts.

Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/17/10 at 09:23 AM ET

and the nhl praises him in 90% of their commercials. it all evens out.

Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 08/17/10 at 10:47 AM ET

Link_Gaetz's avatar

And what is your point?
We don’t like the little prat. I’m sure VooX would talk about all the other top players in the league if they were a D-Bag like Rosby was. And it’s not just us here at the 19 that think that, it’s all of his peers also. They voted him the biggest bitch in the league.
Posted by YYZerman on 08/17/10 at 09:40 AM ET

That’s, like, your opinion man.

Obviously you guys will stand up for VooX (I expect no less), but it doesn’t get a little old the way he brings Crosby into every post, even when it is really forced in (like the post yesterday)?

I don’t hate the Wings. I know too many of their fans to make generalizations about their fanbase. I like reading KK and A2Y, but I always dread when VooX has a post up, because I know he will bring Crosby up somehow. A lot of the time (when the Chief makes a post) it is funny. Yesterday was just so contrived that it was a little pathetic.

Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/17/10 at 10:48 AM ET

Avatar

“trolls, blah, blah, blah, whah, whah, trolls… no one will ever understand us 18… no 19, or is it 20 this year… never mind, but back to the understanding part… we are misunderstood”!

I have not seen so much non-hockey talk as I do from wing fans.  All it has been about the past couple days is some new blogger coming in and all the other blogs taking turns servicing him, and then each other.  It’s like a bunch (19 or so) of high school dorks pumping each other up to ask the home coming queen out, only to have her laugh at you when you finally ask her out.

So much talk about each other and how other fans don’t ‘understand’.  Well you are right, we don’t understand!  Who possibly could, or would want to try and understand the tortured soul of a Detroit wings blogger.  VooX, you are so deep.  Please, oh please wet our beaks with some of your agonizing past.

Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 08/17/10 at 10:52 AM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Alzy from Innisfail, Alberta, Canada

Alzy, I stay at the Courtyard Marriott on E. Jefferson. It’s connected to a skywalk that takes you to the People Mover at the Renaissance Center. The rooms are economical in price, and very spacious (much more so than the Ren Cen Marriott, which is almost twice the cost. 

As for Missing Link_Gaetz , you’re way out of your league here, buddy. May I suggest the Pen(i)s Blog? There you will find comfort in the masses of football fans that pretend to be hockey fans when the NFL season is over.

Thinking “Deep in NHL history” means “1981” will make you a blog favorite right out of the gate. Pretending Rosby has any right to wear a “C” on his jersey will get you kudos for days on end.

Thinking that just the fact the Pens had a chance to win two Cups in a row (but didn’t) automatically makes them a “dynasty”, yet also thinking Detroit’s four Cups in eleven years was sheer luck, will get you your own blog in Pittsburgh (which will start up whenever the Steelers are eliminated from the playoffs). 

I offer this advice for your own good. I offer this advice because I care.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 08/17/10 at 10:54 AM ET

Link_Gaetz's avatar

As for Missing Link_Gaetz , you’re way out of your league here, buddy. May I suggest the Pen(i)s Blog? There you will find comfort in the masses of football fans that pretend to be hockey fans when the NFL season is over.
Thinking “Deep in NHL history” means “1981” will make you a blog favorite right out of the gate. Pretending Rosby has any right to wear a “C” on his jersey will get you kudos for days on end.
Thinking that just the fact the Pens had a chance to win two Cups in a row (but didn’t) automatically makes them a “dynasty”, yet also thinking Detroit’s four Cups in eleven years was sheer luck, will get you your own blog in Pittsburgh (which will start up whenever the Steelers are eliminated from the playoffs). 
I offer this advice for your own good. I offer this advice because I care.
Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste. Marie on 08/17/10 at 09:54 AM ET

1) I don’t like the Pensblog, and I don’t like the Steelers.

2) Nothing you said has anything to do with anything I have ever said.

Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/17/10 at 10:57 AM ET

Avatar

which will start up whenever the Steelers are eliminated from the playoffs

I can understand your frustration, in that Detroit does not have an NFL team… but please try to refrain from the jealousy.

Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 08/17/10 at 10:57 AM ET

Red Winger's avatar

So much talk about each other and how other fans don’t ‘understand’.  Well you are right, we don’t understand! 

Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 08/17/10 at 09:52 AM ET

Chief, may I recommend placing this quote on the side of the webpage?

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 08/17/10 at 10:57 AM ET

Red Winger's avatar

I can understand your frustration, in that Detroit does not have an NFL team… but please try to refrain from the jealousy.

Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 08/17/10 at 09:57 AM ET

That line works…if I were much of a football fan.

I like college football; the NFL, well, not so much. Oh, I’ll watch games on Sunday, but I have no emotional attachments to the Lions at all.

So, care to try again?

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 08/17/10 at 10:59 AM ET

Link_Gaetz's avatar

Ugghh. Whatever is said, can we eliminate the football talk ASAP?

Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/17/10 at 11:00 AM ET

Red Winger's avatar

2) Nothing you said has anything to do with anything I have ever said.

Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/17/10 at 09:57 AM ET

Correct, I was looking toward the future. I basically know what you’ll post tomorrow.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 08/17/10 at 11:01 AM ET

Avatar

So, care to try again?

I only mentioned it because you brought it up.  So ball is in your court.

Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 08/17/10 at 11:02 AM ET

GrahamWIIM's avatar

Who possibly could, or would want to try and understand the tortured soul of a Detroit wings blogger

And yet, here you are, commenting on how you don’t want to understand the soulf of a Wing fan/blogger. You know, if you don’t care what a Wing blogger thinks, then there is an easy way to avoid seeing it….hint hint.

Posted by GrahamWIIM from Chicago via Toronto on 08/17/10 at 11:04 AM ET

Red Winger's avatar

I only mentioned it because you brought it up.  So ball is in your court.

Ball is in Mario’s baseme…

...sorry, I promised myself no “Mario’s basement” comments this year.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 08/17/10 at 11:04 AM ET

Avatar

Chief, may I recommend placing this quote on the side of the webpage?

You want to display a quote that is basically explaining how you and your friends hardly talk hockey anymore, only blow each other?  I mean blow-up each others ego.

Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 08/17/10 at 11:04 AM ET

Red Winger's avatar

I mean blow-up each others ego.

Blowing going on in Mario’s baseme…

 

DAMN!!

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 08/17/10 at 11:06 AM ET

GrahamWIIM's avatar

You want to display a quote that is basically explaining how you and your friends hardly talk hockey anymore, only blow each other?  I mean blow-up each others ego.

Yet another example of how you just don’t understand how this place works.

Posted by GrahamWIIM from Chicago via Toronto on 08/17/10 at 11:06 AM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

It’s like a bunch (19 or so) of high school dorks pumping each other up to ask the home coming queen out, only to have her laugh at you when you finally ask her out.

Posted by gretzky_to_lemieux on 08/17/10 at 09:52 AM ET

I don’t get it, are you the homecoming queen in this metaphor?

Who possibly could, or would want to try and understand the tortured soul of a Detroit wings blogger.

Since there are 19 of us and one of you, I think you have your answer.  Back to your high school metaphor; I guess you’re the lonely jock who doesn’t understand other people, and is frightened by how they’re different, so you bully and put down because despite how much you project that you’re in control and happy, it’s pretty clear that you’re uncomfortable, lonely, and angry because you don’t know how to cope with your own emotions.

Posted by Link_Gaetz

I like you.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/17/10 at 11:15 AM ET

Link_Gaetz's avatar

J.J., was that directed at me, or Gretzky to Lemieux? I was just wondering what quotation you were attributing to me…

Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/17/10 at 11:18 AM ET

Avatar

I’m sorry, it really can’t be called trolling with the baiting that goes on.  I can only imagine what would happen if Tony posted something like this about the Red Wings.

Posted by pens fan in baltimore on 08/17/10 at 11:26 AM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Link, I wasn’t attributing a specific quotation, nor was I being sarcastic.  Just changing gears away from talking to gretzky_to_lemieux.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/17/10 at 11:29 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

I can only imagine what would happen if Tony posted something like this about the Red Wings.

I don’t remember the 19 trolling another site. I mean, we did comment on other places, but usually with coherent arguments and facts. Unless, of course, in the Pinkygate, where personal offenses were aimed at us.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/17/10 at 11:31 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com