Abel to Yzerman
by VooX on 08/17/10 at 02:15 AM ET
The 19 are inundated with trolls daily. And yet none of them are ever clever enough to really understand us and stick around. After a while it becomes like picking on the slow kid. You start to feel sorry for them because they will never get it. Ever.
When I read certain comments in this post, I get pissed. As always, I’m not one to refrain from telling anybody off.
Especially when the trolls come out to play.
Many trolls make fools out of themselves here at A2Y. Just like this:
Posted by Go-Pens-66-68-87-71-11 on 08/16/10 at 04:34 PM ET
Anyway, Rosby hasn’t caught on anywhere other than on this stupid blog. No one calls him that. You guys have no clout whatsoever.
Posted by Link_Gaetz on 08/16/10 at 08:38 PM ET
...If I were a Red Wings fan, I would probably be one of the 19 as well.
However, this instance of “Rosby” bashing was a little much, no? Really pulled out of thin air, doesn’t relate to anything, and sort of comes off as it was written by a redolent 15 year old. I understand bashing him after he starts a post-whistle scrum, but it’s pretty unnecessary and just meant to goad Pens fans into writing up clever “DeD Wingz” or “Datsuck” retorts. I shouldn’t be surprised though, since this was written by VooX. VooX tries so hard to be the Chief, and he ends up writing stuff like this. While using all of the Chief’s jokes. And using the same sentence structure. Every one of his posts just reeks of trying way too hard. But he gets his Pens fans out in full force, so I guess that’s all that matters in the slow summer months. It keeps the some of the fans here happy. I will keep reading this blog, but I will just hope that VooX writes a little less and the Chief writes a little more. The Chief is intelligent, and I get his schtick. I don’t need to read someone poorly imitate him.
I’ll address the Rosby thing in a minute, but first I want to talk to long-time A2Y douchebag, Link Gaetz.
I’m not a pharmacist, Link, I don’t bench 400 with my eyebrows, brah, but I am true to myself. Always. I come in swinging (ask the Douche Canoe) and I leave swinging (ask Pen(i)sblog).
You say that if you were a Wings fan, you’d be one of the 19. I guarantee you wouldn’t be, just ask Jimmy from Windsor about that. You are too simple to ever be one of us, Link. Too unrefined.
You may think we are trying to be someone else, but I’ve met the 19 and everyone is exactly the same people in a real bar as they are in our imaginary bar. To be fair to you, Link, I imagine you are a douchebag in real life just as you are online.
So go ahead, copy our glossary, trolls. Try and even use our words and jokes to be funny. Just realize that you will never understand the 19. Ever.
It’s no coincidence that Wings fans and bloggers are among the most articulate and passionate hockey fans in the world. We’ve spent decades learning the most intelligent hockey system ever invented. And we’re smarter than you for it. Just read the 19’s comments any given day. A2Y is the only news, sports, or personal blog anywhere that has more amazing material in the comments section than there is in the posts themselves.
Someone asked why I didn’t go and blog for the Leafs now. That’s impossible. To go from watching the sublime hockey artistry of the Red Wings for the past twenty seasons, to the cesspool of contaminated hockey, the Maple Leafs/Loafs/Laffs, is impossible to do.
I would rather stab butter knives into my eyes than have to watch any other NHL team than the Red Wings on a regular basis. If you show me a team who plays the game of hockey as beautifully as Detroit has for two decades, I would be a fan. Everyone here would be. Problem is there are no other teams that can do it. The 19 scout the teams with potential to play as well as the Wings, but they always fall short. It’s cute like that.
Trolls will never understand the 19. Just like Link Gaetz, they are too simple to truly comprehend Wings fans, especially the 19 here at A2Y.
The 19 don’t follow trends, we make our own. H2H will be copied by others, but they will never match the original. Only hockey’s greatest fans and organ-I-zation could make that happen spontaneously. And only the 19 call Sid “Rosby” because we are the wittiest bitches on the Gore. Other blogs don’t pick up on Rosby, and we prefer it that way. They’re fuching prehistoric compared to us, just like their fans. They are Pronger. We are Lidstrom. Blunt Objects vs. Scalpels.
So spare me your new content filter, Kukla, I won’t need it. I am the bartender. I have a .357 on my waist and a sawed-off shotgun under the bar, and I won’t need them, either. Because we’ve got 19 of the craziest bitches anywhere ready to slice and dice anyone who comes into our bar and makes an ass out of themselves. Bring it on, douchebags, we will fuch you like Jobu. The 19 are ready. And waiting. We are counting the Tuesdays until Lord Stanley comes home. Is it October yet?
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About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org