Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Big Game 4.999999919 Tonite In Hockeytown

We don’t talk too much about series clinching Game 5’s around here.  So, I’ll be referring to tonite’s matchup as a Game 4.99999919.  I’m sure it will make a huge difference. 

That’s still like 7 hours away though.  And I guess, based on some math I just did, that we could be looking at around 10 hours until I can talk about the stuttering idiot of a Pittsburgh DJ I heard last week on my way home from Hockeytown after the Wings OT winner in Game 2.

I’m smart that way, not tempting fate.  I never have.  I guess when I become an “elite” blogger, I’ll consider it.  But not yet.

Well there was that one time a little more than a year ago?  During a Game 5 live blog when I started counting down in ten second increments with about five minutes left in a Cup clinching game that turned out to be a stab to my retina with a dull stick covered in bacon grease. 

And I guess, a few hours before that one Game 5, I posted a ditty that may have come back to haunt me.

But those were the only times and I’m not going to do it again.

I’m not going to talk about what a win tonite would mean, because jinxing this team is the last thing I want to do.  Oh, the guilt.  If I were to mention the fact that a win tonite vaults us back into our god-guaranteed place in the Final against Little Gary Daddy’s Bitch of a Baby Boy and his invisible friend Geno, and then we were to lose?  I know I’d blame myself.

Yes. It would be my fault.  And when Pavel Datsyuk and Nick Lidstrom spent Sunday and Monday and all the days that fall between that day and next Friday resting?  Yes, that would suck and I’d feel horrible about it.

Enough with the idiot talk:  Do I want Detroit to win tonite and finish off the Wing Bitch and his band of infants?  Of course.  But, those five days of rest that Gary guarantees us if this thing goes six looks pretty tempting right about now.

Great points from the 19 today in Okie’s game day post.  Winning once without Nick and Datsyuk is one thing. Winning twice is another.  And continuing to win after that is foolhardy to expect.  Fortunately four words bode well for a victory tonite, even though that means a quick turnaround to begin the Finals.

And which four words are they?  Thank you for asking.  Joel. Quenneville.  And more importantly: Cristobal. Huet. 

This thing’s done tonite.  Wings smell blood and the Pens are on the horizon. 

5 to 12.

1 to a rematch.

1 to stick yet another semi-truck of Wing win right up Gary’s ass. 

1 to force Little Gary Daddy’s marketing geniuses to come up with yet another Jackatoreum ad highlighting the league’s second best team.

1 to prove the Western Conference is so far superior to the East that the only WC playoff team that couldn’t have beaten the best they have to offer is St. Louis and that’s only because Sweet Adorable Baby Jesus doesn’t want their fans to be happy.

Finish this bitch tonite so we can get on to the business of watching another Mellon Arena crowd shuffle out in tears. Stunned.

Do it. 

 

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com