Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Here’s To Malik. And Thid? You Can Just Go Ahead And Suck It

If any of you donated a single cent to George’s trek to TC, and wonder where the money went?  Read this.  It’s a great final chapter to one of the best displays of hockey blogging/writing you’ll ever see.

Every report from George out of camp was an amazing collection of insider knowledge, hockey genius and delicious Wing fan bias.  Perfection.  He brought a huge amount of class to A2Y and turned this place into something reputable for 11 days.  And so, as I thank Malik for that, I’ll also say this…

Thid Rosby does suck, can suck and will continue to suck it long and hard.  And that’s just the law.  The Wings stroll into The House That Gary Built tonight, a meaningless game, an exhibition for god’s sake, just a little shinny that will happen to take place between two teams who despise one another.

The Pens hate the Wings because of one guy, Hank Zetterberg.  He’s owned them in every matchup, and he’s in their collective heads. Why?  Because their “captain” soils his thong at the mere thought of 40 hounding him, laughing at him, stifling him. No one in the league plays Rosby better because no one has the tenacity to defend him as well as Zetterberg, and no one has the calm demeanor that allows him to view it as a game of washer toss with a PBR rather than an exercise in stress.  Zetterberg enjoys making him sad and Rosby knows it better than anyone.

The Wings despise Pittsburgh because of everything that team represents.  While the Wing organ-I-zation worked hard over two decades to build this Dynasty, the Pens were handed gifted players due to utter (and perhaps not so coincidental) failure on the ice.  They were propped up by the league, financially and commercially, and then shoved past the gag reflex of the hockey world again and again until Gary’s creative Finals scheduling, horrific officiating and a spate of Detroit injuries led to a Cup calling that one-trick town home for ten months until Thid’s “leadership” allowed the thing to walk away without a fight.  And all of that offends a team hell-bent on tradition and sustained excellence.

The Pens don’t like the arrogance that surrounds the Wings.  They feel it’s unearned and it burns them that a team two full seasons removed from its last Cup can be so maddeningly confident about their chances of regaining what belongs in Detroit.  Pens fans, in particular, just don’t like that very much.  And here’s the thing, which is so very interesting.  The Wings and Wing fans share something very similar in that we all take great joy in this rash, this burning that penicillin can’t solve, this frigging pain that Pens fans get when they pee and think of the Red Wings all at once.  Deep down inside, the Pens team knows this Detroit team is better.  And way deep down inside, Pens fans know it too.  And, oh how it hurts. 

So, it’s an exhibition, a pre-season game and nothing more than sixty minutes to kick some tires. 

But don’t you think there might be a little discussion in the Wing room about how fun it might be to kick some Pen ass in their new building, in front of a few thousand “fans” and Gary Bettman who will be watching on satellite wearing a diaper and an “87” half shirt?

Good job George.  Great job actually.  Now let’s head back to the gutter where we belong, eh?

Live blog tonight.  As far as I know, the game’s not on tv.  But one of you smart bastards will find the feed, and there’s always radio one way or another.  I’ll be braving Coronado traffic through the first period but we’ll get the thing kicked off 30 minutes prior to game time with some Motherfauxing Seger.

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Comments

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Rdwings28's avatar

I am horny for hockey.

Posted by Rdwings28 on 09/22/10 at 09:05 AM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Chief lives, back in fine form, and A2Y is back in wicked, filthy hands.  Fauxing awesome.

Now let’s show the Pen(i)s just who owns them, and their new barn too.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/22/10 at 09:15 AM ET

Animal Drew's avatar

Let the hate flow through you.

Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 09/22/10 at 09:25 AM ET

GrahamWIIM's avatar

Make no mistake; even though this is the first game in Consol, the fact that Crosby and Orpik are playing is in large part due to their opponent. If this were just the first game, Crosby would play 1 shift and then sit on the bench so he doesn’t break a nail or mess up his makeup. But because it’s the Wings, he’ll go all out. And if he ends up with a couple of points, then he might feel good about himself, until it’s pointed out that #40 didn’t make the trip because he’s already proven he can stop Crosby, and the Wings didn’t want to make him waste precious energy doing something he’s already an expert at.

Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing Mule get out there and hit someone. George pointed out that he looked bored, and Mule is a guy who plays much better when he is engaged physically.

Posted by GrahamWIIM from Chicago via Toronto on 09/22/10 at 09:27 AM ET

Link_Gaetz's avatar

Oh baby. Hockey season is almost here. I love it.

Posted by Link_Gaetz on 09/22/10 at 10:11 AM ET

Tony's avatar

I could care less whether the Wings were better in the past, are better now or will be better in the future…

The only thing that matters is that the Penguins won the Stanley Cup on YOUR ice, after being down 0-2, being shutout 5-0 in Game 5 to go down 2-3, and having to go on the road for Game 7….

So it’s great that my buddy The Chief composed such a masterpiece to open the preseason with the usual old insults and same old excuses, because that means that THIS still burns…...


Posted by Tony from Virginia Beach, VA on 09/22/10 at 10:12 AM ET

Jennemy of the Skate's avatar

George rocked the Training Camp coverage. Pure awesomesauce.

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 09/22/10 at 10:12 AM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

A-fricking-men Chief.
Drop that dayum, puck.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 09/22/10 at 10:15 AM ET

Stilly's avatar

I gotta tell you Chief., the bravado is adorable.  It’s cute that you’re so convinced the Wings are going to dominate when they haven’t really gotten better at any position.  It’s like you’re that kid on the school bus who brags about his Dad being the toughest guy in the world, but in reality his Dad is a soft 40 year old accountant whose best days are behind him.

I just hope for your sake that Datsyuk doesn’t confuse the regular season for the post season like he did last year and disappear prematurely.

BTW. How’s your boat?

Posted by Stilly on 09/22/10 at 10:15 AM ET

Cwix's avatar

...and Gary Bettman who will be watching on satellite wearing a diaper and an “87” half shirt?

Priceless, Chief

Posted by Cwix from Grand Rapids, now Chicago, IL on 09/22/10 at 10:24 AM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Morning Tony. 

Stilly, this is interesting…

they haven’t really gotten better at any position.

Actually, the Wings have improved at every position.  Blue line is more dependable with Salei (so much so that the best coach in hockey feels comfortable enough to split up the best D tandem in hockey).  Howard is an upgrade in goal and the forward lines are deeper than any team in hockey.

The boat’s great.  Thanks for asking.  Re-christened it this summer.  Gave her a hull number of 87, painted it black and gold and named it The Whining Bitch.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 09/22/10 at 10:25 AM ET

pensfan29's avatar

Yawn. Tony said it best. Same old crap from the last 2 seasons. Of course its meaningless, so if the Pens win, “its preseason” if the wings win, “oh we kicked their ass in their new arena!” who cares, lets play

Posted by pensfan29 on 09/22/10 at 10:27 AM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Posted by Stilly on 09/22/10 at 09:15 AM ET

I’m not sure I have to tell somebody as hockey-smart as you how much improving a team’s third scoring line can affect a team’s competitive level (especially when it grants you the freedom to put together a first line that’s even greater than the sum of its parts), so I’ll just assume that first bit as a typo.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/22/10 at 10:28 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Welcome back, trolls. Let the hate commence.  LOL

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 09/22/10 at 10:29 AM ET

Tony's avatar

Welcome back, trolls. Let the hate commence.  LOL

Posted by mrfluffy from Cincy on 09/22/10 at 09:29 AM ET

And yes, thank you for bringing up the other laughable double standard….

Pens fans commenting in Wings post, even ones that talk about Pens = Trolls

Wings fans commenting in Pens post, regardless of topic = Permissable


Thanks for clearing that up for all the new readers…. wink

Posted by Tony from Virginia Beach, VA on 09/22/10 at 10:32 AM ET

Stevis's avatar

The only thing that matters is that the Penguins won the Stanley Cup on YOUR ice, after being down 0-2,

...playing the suspiciously unsuspended Malkin…

Posted by Stevis on 09/22/10 at 10:32 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Posted by Tony from Virginia Beach, VA on 09/22/10 at 09:32 AM ET

Easy there Farva, you had to know it was coming. Maybe not the troll BS, but the Chief not saying much about his favorite whipping boy for a month.

I’m surprised it took over an hour for the first Pens fan to respond.  wink

I think we all know 95% of us are true hockey fans in the best sense of the word and would mote than get along in person, until we sat next each other at a game. The beer afterward would soothe over sore feelings…and the black eyes and broken noses received during said game.

So all this niceties shit aside, has anyone found a stream on either side?

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 09/22/10 at 10:39 AM ET

Stilly's avatar

“Actually, the Wings have improved at every position.”

Really?  Bringing in 40 year old Mikey Mo and 36 year old Ruslan Salei are improvements? Oh and you can’t count Howard as an improvement.  He was the guy last season.  Kid played balls out though.  Hopefully he doesn’t pull a Steve Mason and forget how to play goalie.

Posted by Stilly on 09/22/10 at 10:40 AM ET

Tony's avatar

Trust me Fluff, it’s all good… The Chief still hasn’t paid me back for the beer he owes me…. He might get a chance to repay me next month though….

I don’t think we’re gonna find a TV stream, just radio….

Posted by Tony from Virginia Beach, VA on 09/22/10 at 10:41 AM ET

Stilly's avatar

“So all this niceties shit aside, has anyone found a stream on either side? “

I know that the Pens aren’t broadcasting the game on TV.  They will be broadcasting over radio though.

Posted by Stilly on 09/22/10 at 10:42 AM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

NHL network isn’t airing it. If I hear of a feed today I’ll post it here. 

Yes Tony, I still owe you a beer or ten.  Let me know when you hit the land of milk and honey and I’ll make amends.

And Stilly, considering the time and effort the league’s best GM put in to sign Willa (Modano), don’t you think he might be worth it?  I’m betting Holland ends up looking smart again.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 09/22/10 at 10:46 AM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

I’m betting Holland ends up still looking smart.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 09/22/10 at 09:46 AM ET

Slight repair made.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 09/22/10 at 10:48 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Good job George.  Great job actually.  Now let’s head back to the gutter where we belong, eh?

Brilliant.

And Chief, could you update the sidebar? The Production Line is hosted on a new place, theproductionline.us

Will the game be broadcasted tonite?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 09/22/10 at 10:50 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

BTW. How’s your boat?

Posted by Stilly on 09/22/10 at 09:15 AM ET

Still covering your ass.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 09/22/10 at 10:57 AM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Really?  Bringing in 40 year old Mikey Mo and 36 year old Ruslan Salei are improvements? Oh and you can’t count Howard as an improvement.  He was the guy last season.  Kid played balls out though.  Hopefully he doesn’t pull a Steve Mason and forget how to play goalie.

Posted by Stilly on 09/22/10 at 09:40 AM ET

Not surprising a Penguins fan would forget about Jiri Hudler.  The concept of a winger playing on the third line who could put up 30 goals is such a foreign concept.

For the record, I like the Comrie addition, and I think he could be the answer on the wing the Penguins have been looking for.

Ruslan Salei will play better than Andreas Lilja, who only played late last season (you know, the part where the Red Wings went on a tear and ended up higher in the standings than Pittsburgh?).  You could even call our defense addition by subtraction, now that Lebda is in the land of crazy hockey columnists.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/22/10 at 10:58 AM ET

Tony's avatar

Yes Tony, I still owe you a beer or ten.  Let me know when you hit the land of milk and honey and I’ll make amends.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 09/22/10 at 09:46 AM ET

Chief, u still using your same Gmail accounts, or are you just using your work email….

Posted by Tony from Virginia Beach, VA on 09/22/10 at 11:14 AM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

This banter can only mean one thing.  Hockey is back.

Make that two things.  Pen(i)s fans are still groveling for acceptance from Wing fans.  Love it.

Drop the fuchin’ puck already.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 09/22/10 at 11:26 AM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Thanks for clearing that up for all the new readers….

Finally, one of you Crosby-fellators GETS us!

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/22/10 at 11:31 AM ET

BTCBen's avatar

So I know it’s a longshot…but any of the 19 gonna be in attendance tonight?  I’ll be at the game and I’m hoping for some other Wings representation.

However, if I have to fly solo into The House That Gary Built and represent the 19 proudly…so be it.  Drop the puck.  LGRW.

Posted by BTCBen on 09/22/10 at 11:40 AM ET

HeilThom's avatar

Holy fauxing hockey season.

Posted by HeilThom from Hockeytown, USA on 09/22/10 at 11:43 AM ET

chollis's avatar

This was, by far, the shortest post in the last two weeks on here. I went and grabbed my usual cup of coffee, bowl of cereal and side of toast, fully expecting to take a good 30 minutes to get through another one of Malik’s TC gems. Two minutes later, my cereal isn’t soggy and my coffee is still hot. The sheer confusion I am dealing with right now may cause me to just pack it up and head home to drink beer for the rest of the day.

Resetting the expectations to a more reasonable level.

Welcome back Chief.

Posted by chollis from Seattle. Seriously. on 09/22/10 at 12:05 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Chief, welcome back, Raspberry.  Time for you to pull some weight around here, bitch, you may have to sacrifice a few games of washer toss (which apparently you suck at anyways like Wii-Bowling) to do it.

Tony, the comment section of any blog should match the tone that the blog author sets.  While you are more straight-laced on your blog, and I don’t agree with aggressive comments from Wings fans, you’ve stepped into the lions den here and should expect a hard time.  A2Y, as created by the Chief, is caustic, brash, and crude.  Which is exactly how we deal with opposing perspectives around here.

If you agree, as we do, that the Wings are the greatest sports organ-I-zation in the world who are expected to win the Cup every season, you’ll have no problems at A2Y.  If your expectations for the Wings are lower, or you support one of our enemies, expect a rough reception here. 

A2Y is no place for the timid or easily offended.

According to the Emperor the NHL head office also has issues with what we say.  Apparently the Chief, and myself, using the nickname Rosby regularly in posts has really hit a nerve with the NHL brass.  Maybe I’m naive (as Bettman accused me of being), but I don’t think Li’l Gary gets so butt-hurt about any nicknames for other players.

While I have been absent, following a family sickness/death and other obligations, I will be back to wrap up some loose ends from summer and bring more vitriol to the discussion around here soon.  In the meantime, the bar is open, and following an extended summer of cleaning, has the smell of disinfectant mixing with the usual urine and vomit odour that hangs in the air around here.

What are you bitches drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 09/22/10 at 12:09 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

According to the Emperor the NHL head office also has issues with what we say.

Expand, please.

What are you bitches drinking?

Red Bull and vodka. I’m too sleepy for work right now.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 09/22/10 at 12:15 PM ET

Avatar

Business as usual…..the Wings fans (and this blog) have a chip on their shoulders the size of the Rock of Gibraltor.  Just wondering if you are just attempting to make Pensblog look more mainstream in comparison?

Posted by VAHockeyFan on 09/22/10 at 12:17 PM ET

jennyquarx's avatar

George, you rocked it all TC.  Thanks so much for all that you did.

How delightful to wake up with a post from the Chief and the promise of a live blog.  Radio will suffice but how this game is not televised anywhere is beyond me.

See you later, bitches.

Posted by jennyquarx on 09/22/10 at 12:36 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I skip over the posts of jealous trolls but even that tangenital contact this morning was enough to observe how hockey-stupid they are.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 09/22/10 at 12:37 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Resetting the expectations to a more reasonable level.

Letting George run with it while Camp has been going on has not been a coincidence, Chris.  Anyone who thinks I’m going to post a patented juvenilacious rant after a Malik manifesto is crazy.  I’m not into inviting that kind of comparison.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 09/22/10 at 12:39 PM ET

GrahamWIIM's avatar

Why do fans of other teams try and come in here to talk bad about the greatest organization in sports? Do they not realize that Wing fans just feed off the hate and become even stronger from it?

Posted by GrahamWIIM from Chicago via Toronto on 09/22/10 at 12:45 PM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

I don’t think we’re gonna find a TV stream, just radio….

Posted by Tony from Virginia Beach, VA on 09/22/10 at 09:41 AM ET

That’s a shame.  While watching the Red vs. White game yesterday was awesome, it wasn’t anything like watching the Wings vs. another team.  I really wish Pittsburgh media would broadcast this game.  I’m sure the Penguin fans would love to see it too.

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 09/22/10 at 12:50 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Herm, I detailed there hatred of the nickname Rosby.  They complain to Paul regularly about it.  I find it very funny, but Paul likely would prefer not to have the headache.

VA, allow me to give a simple comparison so you can discern the difference between Pen(i)sblog and A2Y:

Homo-erotic photoshops… Pen(i)sblog
Homo-erotic photoshops involving Bettman & Rosby… A2Y

Passionate hockey fans… Pen(i)sblog
Passionate hockey fans who actually understand the game and have followed hockey for more than 6 seasons… A2Y

Bias coverage where dissenting posters are banned… Pen(i)sblog
Bias coverage where dissenting posters are mocked… A2Y

Juvenile readers whose comments reflect their lack of life experience and underdeveloped brains… Pen(i)sblog
Readers who behave like juveniles and whose underdeveloped brains reflect their massive alcohol/narcotic consumption… A2Y

Loves Gary Bettman… Pen(i)sblog
Has several restraining orders against filed by Gary Bettman… A2Y

A cocky attitude following two successful seasons… Pen(i)sblog
A cocky attitude following two successful decades… A2Y

A successful online campaign to bring “Charlie” (a drawing) to the Pens game and dressing room… Pen(i)sblog
A successful online campaign to bring “Herm” (a real person) to Hockeytown, and the Wings dressing room, accompanied by 150 friends and the media… A2Y

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 09/22/10 at 12:51 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com