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Abel to Yzerman

All Is Well…Gary Says The Playoffs Start Tonite

In a stunning decision from the NHL front office in Pittsburgh, midget commissioner Gary.Ass Bettman announced just moments ago that Sidney Crosby has been named Cosmopolitan Magazine's Man of the Decade and that the NHL playoffs will start this evening. First round matchups will be announced thirty minutes before game times.  If any visiting team can't make it to their scheduled game, that round will be postponed until the new glossy Crosby posters have been completely reviewed in Bettman's private office, with soft lighting.

None of that is true, except the part about Bettman being a midget, the Cosmo award for Rosby, the poster thing and the soft lighting.  So, the playoffs aren't really starting tonite.

But if they were?

The Wings would be playing Vancouver.  Is that some sort of crazy-ass coincidence or what?

Nuts.

Two of them. If Luongo has those, he's in tonite because of the violation Detroit levied upon him the last time out.

Whatever. The Wings, because they did last night, can score on the power play, win on the road and profess allegiance to their coach.

It's a late one and I'm guessing, maybe, two of you are sober. Have at it, by god.  It's a Live Blog, bitches. 

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Comments

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TheRealYooper's avatar

Darth Gator?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/16/13 at 09:26 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

These commentators are so full of crap. Who is paying them off?

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 09:26 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Even if what they say is true… it doesn’t make it right.

Posted by calquake on 03/16/13 at 09:27 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

6:08 Justin Abdelkader 2 (Assists: Pavel Datsyuk 19, Johan Franzen 8)

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/16/13 at 09:28 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

These commentators are so full of crap. Who is paying them off?

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 10:26 PM ET

if you are watching it on NHLN, then its most likely the Nuck Homers.

Posted by Hootinani on 03/16/13 at 09:28 PM ET

RWBill's avatar


These commentators are so full of crap. Who is paying them off?

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 10:26 PM ET

Am streaming 97.1 online and had to pause the NHL video for 2 minutes, but it’s worth it to hear friendly voices.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/16/13 at 09:29 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

That sure as hell was interference last night

Posted by Hootinani on 03/16/13 at 09:29 PM ET

Bent's avatar

No interference call huh?  I bet it is called on the exact same type of play later.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/16/13 at 09:29 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Modern day society, economics and politics may suck, but damn, big-screen HD TV’s and high-speed internet connections are really cool.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:30 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 03/16/13 at 10:29 PM ET

I always mute National games too, because I’m pretty sure too much Pierre McGuire can cause brain damage and sterility.

Posted by Hootinani on 03/16/13 at 09:31 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Modern day society, economics and politics may suck, but damn, big-screen HD TV’s and high-speed internet connections are really cool.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 03/16/13 at 10:30 PM ET

It’s the new Soma.

Posted by calquake on 03/16/13 at 09:31 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

big-screen HD TV’s and high-speed internet connections are really cool

drugs are a wonderful thing

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/16/13 at 09:31 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I always mute National games too, because I’m pretty sure too much Pierre McGuire can cause brain damage and sterility.

Hence Eddie Olzsuck.

Posted by calquake on 03/16/13 at 09:32 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

JIMMAH!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Hootinani on 03/16/13 at 09:33 PM ET

Bent's avatar

JIMMAH!

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/16/13 at 09:33 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Jimmy *#$%@& Howard

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/16/13 at 09:33 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

JIMMAH

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 03/16/13 at 09:34 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

James.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/16/13 at 09:34 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Lashoff is starting off a little rough tonight

Posted by Hootinani on 03/16/13 at 09:34 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

That was a $5million save

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:34 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Worth 4.5 - 5 mil?  You decide.

Posted by calquake on 03/16/13 at 09:34 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

DET’s PK will help out the ‘Nucks PP -

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/16/13 at 09:34 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Lashoff is starting off a little rough tonight

He isn’t the lone ranger out there

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/16/13 at 09:35 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

call a dive on lou

... big baby

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/16/13 at 09:36 PM ET

calquake's avatar

He isn’t the lone ranger out there

Tonto is playing in the 2nd pairing.

Posted by calquake on 03/16/13 at 09:36 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I do not like the Million Jersey March. Too many jerseys in the NHL.

Tradition is having only two, but, money talks.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

 

 

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 09:36 PM ET

peiz11's avatar

Every time I see jimmy do that now I think, “damn, more evidence for the agent”. Then again I’m okay if he can keep doing that.

Posted by peiz11 from Minneapolis on 03/16/13 at 09:36 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

5mil for 4 or 5 years would ok with me

Posted by Hootinani on 03/16/13 at 09:36 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Nice Kill

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:36 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

kilt it

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/16/13 at 09:37 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I like the history behind the jerseys but the pants are fugly.

Posted by calquake on 03/16/13 at 09:37 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Pavel is on a mission tonight, again.

Hello Mule, you should be taking note you useless *#$%@&

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/16/13 at 09:38 PM ET

calquake's avatar

As many have stated, give Jimmy term or money but not both.

Posted by calquake on 03/16/13 at 09:38 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

My 80 year old Mother could get there ahead of Franzen.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 09:39 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I do not like the Million Jersey March. Too many jerseys in the NHL.
Tradition is having only two, but, money talks.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!


Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 10:36 PM ET

I hated the third jersey BS back in the 90’s, but historic uni’s I’m cool with. I’d love to see the Wings take the ice in Cougars gear.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:39 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

My 80 year old Mother could get there ahead of Franzen.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 10:39 PM ET

Your 80 yr old mother gives a shit and has a better work ethic

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:40 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

A comatose Paul Woods says you have to react quickly, “this isn’t a game for second thinkers”.

I don’t know what that is, but I’ll take his word for it.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/16/13 at 09:40 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Damn, I am a post whore tonight

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:40 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

NICE pick by Brunner

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:41 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

How did the VAN Nuck miss that?

Wow

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/16/13 at 09:42 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com