Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

All Is Well…Gary Says The Playoffs Start Tonite

In a stunning decision from the NHL front office in Pittsburgh, midget commissioner Gary.Ass Bettman announced just moments ago that Sidney Crosby has been named Cosmopolitan Magazine's Man of the Decade and that the NHL playoffs will start this evening. First round matchups will be announced thirty minutes before game times.  If any visiting team can't make it to their scheduled game, that round will be postponed until the new glossy Crosby posters have been completely reviewed in Bettman's private office, with soft lighting.

None of that is true, except the part about Bettman being a midget, the Cosmo award for Rosby, the poster thing and the soft lighting.  So, the playoffs aren't really starting tonite.

But if they were?

The Wings would be playing Vancouver.  Is that some sort of crazy-ass coincidence or what?

Nuts.

Two of them. If Luongo has those, he's in tonite because of the violation Detroit levied upon him the last time out.

Whatever. The Wings, because they did last night, can score on the power play, win on the road and profess allegiance to their coach.

It's a late one and I'm guessing, maybe, two of you are sober. Have at it, by god.  It's a Live Blog, bitches. 

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Comments

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Riviera's avatar

Gawd, Datsyuk is possessed tonight.

Posted by Riviera from Phoenix on 03/16/13 at 09:42 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

For fuch sake, some give Pav some freakin help!

Posted by Hootinani on 03/16/13 at 09:42 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

” post whore “

Definition (n) wife.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/16/13 at 09:42 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

TOOTOO interfered with and no freakin call

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:43 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

We may get Coaches Corner “aka"Jingo Unchained. Bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 09:43 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

We may get Coaches Corner “aka"Jingo Unchained. Bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 10:43 PM ET

Grapes never does the late game, so I guess you were talking about Cherrycock?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:44 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

TOOTOO interfered with and no freakin call

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 03/16/13 at 10:43 PM ET

Reputation non-call.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 09:45 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

that can’t be right. SOG 5-15 VAN.??

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/16/13 at 09:45 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Good of Smith as a defenseman being at the point of attack forechecking at the Vancouver blue line.  It’s a backwards year.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/16/13 at 09:45 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

somebody on that line has got to WANT the puck

Posted by Hootinani on 03/16/13 at 09:46 PM ET

Avatar

White tackled now….interesting.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 03/16/13 at 09:47 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

pucker up

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/16/13 at 09:48 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Grapes never does the late game, so I guess you were talking about Cherrycock?

This season he is doing the second game. I think it’s part of his new contract.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 09:48 PM ET

Bent's avatar

I don’t buy those shot totals either Yooper.  Seems home inflated.

Hah, my web browser spell check doesn’t think Yooper is a real word…  I really should write them about that.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 03/16/13 at 09:49 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Tied on the road - -not bad - - especially after that start

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 03/16/13 at 09:49 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Nice pimp hat, grapes

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:49 PM ET

Riviera's avatar

Damn, look at that suit. Full form.

Posted by Riviera from Phoenix on 03/16/13 at 09:49 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

No, it looks like the puck moves his skate as a result of a hard shot.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 09:51 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

This season he is doing the second game. I think it’s part of his new contract.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 10:48 PM ET

I knew you were right; it just gave me a chance to type Cherrycock.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:51 PM ET

peiz11's avatar

Holy crap. I mean I’m never surprised by Cherry, but do people like this schtick?  They can’t seriously be complaining about that being a kicking motion. It hit his skate. Don’t they know Abby can’t score on purpose?

Posted by peiz11 from Minneapolis on 03/16/13 at 09:52 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Jimmy has a 19:54 shutout streak going.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/16/13 at 09:52 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Wait. what? Datsyuk gets high praise from Grapes.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 09:54 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Wait. what? Datsyuk gets high praise from Grapes.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 10:54 PM ET

Hell just froze over

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 09:55 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Wait. what? Datsyuk gets high praise from Grapes.

It’s the a-pocky-lips.

Posted by calquake on 03/16/13 at 09:55 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

oh jeezus here we go with the lidstrom talk from the table. FU guys and move on, we did.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 03/16/13 at 09:56 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Get over TPH. He’s never coming back. Move on.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 09:57 PM ET

peiz11's avatar

Damn. The whole crew lovin Pasha. I’m scared. What’s going on?

Posted by peiz11 from Minneapolis on 03/16/13 at 09:57 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Khan(!) is coming up for an interview on 97.1 stream after this commercial.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/16/13 at 09:58 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Hell just double froze over. These guys are drunk.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/16/13 at 09:58 PM ET

Chet's avatar

if i’m on nutjob.eu which one do i want? the “NHLTV” one is just anaheim.

Posted by Chet from twitter: thegansen on 03/16/13 at 09:58 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

http://nutjob.eu/njtvx11.html

i think that is the nutjob feed you want

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/16/13 at 10:00 PM ET

calquake's avatar

if i’m on nutjob.eu which one do i want?

Postwhore.eu

Posted by calquake on 03/16/13 at 10:00 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

i have switched over to the http://www.firstrow1.eu/watch/175341/1/watch-vancouver-canucks-vs-detroit-red-wings.html feed

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/16/13 at 10:01 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Who’s playing D? Greg Joly and Willie Huber?

Oh, old school….Rick Zombo + Gilbert Delorme ...aka “hack & whack”

Posted by Down River Dan on 03/16/13 at 10:02 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

97.1 quoting Kukla’s Korner asking Khan(!) about it.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 03/16/13 at 10:03 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

They only have B/W photos so how do they know the old Millionaires’ jerseys were maroon?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 03/16/13 at 10:08 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Evening my fellow degenerates.  We go for two in a row tonight!  Sometimes it’s the little things that make life a big deal.  Go Wings!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/16/13 at 10:08 PM ET

utahgentile's avatar

1-1 after one ... got side tracked learning how to plump my lips.  Amazing

Posted by utahgentile from the land of white and delightsome people on 03/16/13 at 10:08 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

interference is still a penalty, right?

Posted by Hootinani on 03/16/13 at 10:08 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Oh, old school….Rick Zombo + Gilbert Delorme ...aka “hack & whack”

Posted by Down River Dan on 03/16/13 at 11:02 PM ET

1983- Colin Campbell and Barry Melrose.

Posted by calquake on 03/16/13 at 10:09 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com