Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 09/13/07 at 06:37 AM ET
The votes are pouring in at such a rate that I’m starting to get nervous. My lips are so cold. Four days remain in our contest to “replace the Fire on Ice marketing campaign with something that doesn’t suck quite as much.”
Below you’ll find the selections and the current vote tally. All votes for the next 24 hours will be made in the comment section of this post.
HockeyinHD has proven himself as exactly the kind of juvenile reader who represents us all. His entry, the first submitted, emphasized exactly that.
Entry 1: Thanks Gary
Where HinHD made us giggle with him like the children we are, Matt Schwartz used the contest to show off, to show us up. That made me sad that someone would want us all to feel so badly about our own creative shortcomings. Not since I stabbed Jimmy Karish with a pencil in 5th grade art class with Mrs. Curzon have I felt such shame.
Entry 2: Fire In Your Wallet
Pete at Yzerman is God impressed me since his debut last season. His stock rose, yes I said “stock rose”, when he dropped a BJ on us with the third entry.
Entry 3: BJ’s For Us All
Aaron from Phoenix, clearly inspired by what Pete had to offer with Entry 3, chimed in next. He preyed on our greatest fear and struck gold.
If Aaron took the easy way out by capitalizing on our insecurities, TeamDub went the opposite direction and lit the torches for the most unpopular Detroit sports figure since, well, since forever.
Entry 5: Fire Millen
Saginaw John checked in next with concrete evidence that residents of his hometown are the most brilliant, wittiest, most socially responsible people in the history of mid-michigan towns mentioned by Simon and Garfunkel. I have no idea where he scored the picture of Grampa Pinhead but it worked.
Entry 6: Fun For All Ages
The pride of Sagnasty was far from done. Oh no. This one’s for Don Cherry.
Entry 7: Soft Swede
And now we get downright dirty. I can’t tell you the negotiations involved, but suffice it to say the version you’re about to see wasn’t the original. That one’s hidden away in my sock drawer for the next time I go to sea. An anonymous poster provided us our eigth entry and it put A2Y on the same map as that little vixen from High School Musical.
Entry 8: Below The Fold
The contest went silent for three weeks after that anonymous entry. Why? I don’t know. Perhaps we were in shock. Maybe you all started surfing porn after seeing the 8th entry. No matter the reason, we were about to wrap it up with 8 when Pete returned with an eye opener.
Entry 9: Emmmmma
Saginaw John snuck another entry in just before the polls opened for business last night.
Entry 10: Addicted To Red
On to the standings:
Stay In The Net You Bastard Czech Miracle of Insanity: 5 votes
Fire In Your Wallet: 4 votes
Red Alert: 4 votes
Addicted to Red: 2 votes
Bettman’s Stick Figures: 2 votes
BJ’s For Everyone: 2 votes
Emmmmmmmmmmma: 2 votes
Fun For All Ages: 2 votes
Darren Garcia Fan Club: 0 votes
Voting continues in the comment section of this post. I don’t really care if you vote twice. Let your conscience be your guides.
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About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org