Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Horatio Cain Will Track You Down And He Will Lock You Away

Gary Bettman’s All Star Game starts in roughly 16 minutes.  We don’t know for sure because apparently the stop watches aren’t working in Montreal.

Hopefully the Versus ratings in Detroit come in somewhere around 0.00.

Me? I won’t watch a minute of it.  It’s CSI Miami on A&E.

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Hey Ohio Transplants…Here’s Your Standard

You have tickets to Tuesday’s game in Columbus.  It’s the only chance you have to see The Dynasty all year.  You and your wife are epic Wing fans, raised in Michigan, transplanted in Columbus, or somewhere near.

Principles? You’ve got ‘em.  And you’re considering skipping the game just to show Gary Bettman what a tool he is.

But you realize it won’t phase him because all he cares about is buying a new Webkinz for his baby boy in Pittsburgh.

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Write This Caption

Steve Simmons wrote this morning what all of us already know, and I’m paraphrasing:  that Gary Bettman is a little bitch midget who has zero loyalty to a game he knows nothing about or the players who attract a core of fans who want more than anything to be loyal, but are being tested by his idiocy.

Actually, what he wrote was this.

Department of Dumb: Suspending Nicklas Lidstrom, who has played hurt, been to a million all-star games, and never has taken a shift off in his spectacular career, for not playing in today’s all-star game. This is so typical of Gary Bettman: He’ll protect his bankrupt owners but toss the best of his players under the bus.

Roger.  And now I have a challenge for you.

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Live Blogging CSI Miami

Updated 1444 EST:  Imagery added below will offend many, many people.  I strongly recommend you go elsewhere now.
No, I didn’t.  But many of you did and that’s fantastic.

Especially since that would have conflicted with the piss pot skills competition.

I haven’t decided what I’ll be doing at 1800 this evening, but I’ll let you know.

In the meantime, I have two ditties for you.

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Why Does This Sentence Matter?

Pens/Devils.  29 January 2008.

In the first game for both teams following the All-Star break, the Penguins defeated the Devils for the fifth straight time in New Jersey.

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The Latest

As expected, you have several options.  You want venom and bluster, some juvenilicious reaction?  Here’s probably your spot.

You want cold, hard facts with some analysis thrown in from George himself?  Then Malik’s your man.  I would expect that the rest of the Wing bloggers are going to be chiming in as well.  They can be found on the starboard side under, “Head to Hockeytown.”

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Holland To Bettman: Suck It. My Boys Are Staying Home.

1634 EST: It gets better.  NHL officials commented to Helene St. James, (“I just spoke to…”  We know, Helene, we know).  See below.
Done deal. 

Detroit’s best player and captain, Nick Lidstrom, a renowned trouble maker, has been suspended one game.

Joining him on the sidelines is reigning Lady Byng winner and noted rebel Pavel Datsyuk.


The pair will miss the Red Wings regular-season game against the Columbus Blue Jackets under a policy established last year, Colin Campbell, the NHL’s senior executive vice president of hockey operations, said Friday.


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Suggested Response To Bettman?  Screw You

1332 EST: Updated below with more from Craig Custance

Oh.  I guess it’s on now, eh? 

As you may have seen from the Emperor, Gary Bettman’s acting like a little bitch again.


The NHL says it will enforce an understanding that all players who decline to show after being named to the All-Star teams must miss at least one game before or one game after the All-Star weekend.

If so, Detroit’s Pavel Datsyuk and Nicklas Lidstrom may be forced to sit the Red Wings next game if they don’t immediately change their All-Star break plans and report to Montreal.

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Want A Real All Star Game Gary?  Here You Go…No Charge

I can’t take credit for this idea, but I dig it and I’m going to tell you all about it anyway.  I read this suggestion somewhere yesterday as I was browsing the various blogs where Wing haters were sobbing about this and this.  I’ll try to track down who mentioned it yesterday and give credit where it’s due.  Also, it’s been done before...back when hockey was hockey and Gary wasn’t in the picture.

Here’s the idea:  Next year, when the Wings are defending their twelfth Stanley Cup title?  Select an All Star team who will play the Cup Champs.

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Sign It In Montreal

I think it would be nifty if Tick Tock Kenny Holland decided to call a press conference in Montreal this weekend and announce that Henrik Zetterberg had just signed a ten-year contract extension with the Wings, for about three million less than he could have made per season if he’d gone the free agent route this summer.

Zetterberg and his agent and Tick Tock could all say a few words about the importance of team and personal sacrifice for the sake of The Dynasty.

And Emma could be there.  With Jimmy D and maybe a circus clown on loan from Little Gary.  But just for a few minutes before he has to get back and officiate the skills competition.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com


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