Abel to Yzerman
Hi. Hello. I've decided to predict all 8 first round playoff series using an exact formula I found in a pharmacy in a row next to products I don't understand because of my gender. That formula requires extensive knowledge of a program called "Excel" that features tables and math and essentially selecting the higher seed in every matchup, and slamming a few run-on sentences together, then maybe throwing a genade predicting one player from each team who I believe NOW qualifies for the Hall of Fame.
48 hours before the most uncertain playoff run in the last 25 consecutive years of playoff runs, we've got ourselves a full-fledged clusterf***.
Pavel Datsyuk told the Delicate Genius that he wanted the announcement of his likely retirement before the playoffs so that his teammates wouldn't be pestered about it as they get ready to (a) get their asses kicked if they play like they did Thursday, (b) lay waste to a crippled Tampa team if they play like they did Wednesday.
I've never been shy to blast the media on A2Y. In the 11 years we've been going at it, you and I, it's actually been one of the consistent angles we've taken. We go at the Deep Diggers for showing no backbone. We go at the mainstream when it's (a) fun, (2) in reaction to outlandish (or any) criticism of our Wings or (c) when it appears there's something shady going on.
It appeared to me that Elliotte Friedman was hovering in a gray area between (2) and (c) when, a few weeks ago on Hockey Night in Canada, he reported the rumors of Pavel Datsyuk's possible end-of-season retirement. I reacted like this...
He never saw the need until Saturday night, on a Hockey Night in Canada, with the irrelevant Leafs on the docket and an audience ripe for a big splash. If McGuire heard these rumors in October, you know Friedman's heard them just as long. But all of a sudden his sources strengthened on a Saturday in April when the cameras were on? Noted.
Not buying it. Not buying the strength of the rumor and not buying Friedman's venue or timing to unleash it. Naturally, the sources were unnamed.
I was wrong.
We've live blogged the last few games together. Kate did the heavy lifting all year and I get to come in when it's easy, when the words come naturally because the stress is so real. Live blogging a collective descent into insanity is not hard. Live blogging a game against Winnipeg in January? That's hard. So thank you, Kate.
Today? What ditty describes us best? Oh, I think you'll agree that Joseph Conrad was put on this earth for this very moment.
“It was written I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice.”
And so we shall be.
How is everyone feeling this morning?
Time for gut and heart talk.
What's your gut and/or heart say about today's game?
Me, it changes by the hour. Key to me is a good start.
Wings certainly do not want to end the season with the winged wheel hidden.
The year is 1975. Saginaw, Michigan. Coolidge Boulevard. I'm pretty sure it was February.
Today we watch, tomorrow we worry.
Jimmy Howard has no business playing this game. Mrazek stole that job from him last year.
Dylan Larkin belongs in Grand Rapids, because he's 19 and, like most adults, doesn't know or care what the hell a "PDO" is.
Brad Richards is too old. Mike Green is a liability.
Darren Helm has no hands.
Jeff Blashill is not Mike Babcock and we all know Mike Babcock never misses the playoffs.
That was big, but tonight's will be tougher. In Boston. Back end of a back-to-back. Angry, emotionally brittle B's, itching and sputtering. Tough.
Sven22 posted his pharmacist's science in a comment this morning. It's important to you and your family:
- 2 points against Bruins, any fashion = Red Wings are in.
- SO loss to Bruins = Red Wings need 1 point against NYR
- OT loss to Bruins = Red Wings need 2 points against NYR (any fashion)
- Regulation loss to Bruins = Red Wings need an ROW against NYR
I believe that refers to scenarios that would result in the Wings earning the 3 spot in the Atlantic. I am not sure how the Wild Card plays out.
Waves of stress have turned the last minutes of our sanity into hours.
The Coast Guard, a fine service with brave men and women, has no wish to assist. We're foundering but not sunk. That fatass cook is nervous but he's not cooking the last supper.
That musty old hall in Detroy-et is filled but not silent.
About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org