Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Yes…Live Blog It. But Don’t Watch This Game.  It Will Be Too Painful.

I don't know how we can do it.  Scientifically, it's probably impossible.  But one way or another? We need to Live Blog this game without...actually...watching...it.

You guys take days like this way too seriously.  Losses affect you in obscene ways, and usually the consequences are hygienic in nature.  And that's not good.  Today will be horrible.  Chicago is too good. They haven't lost in Detroit in 8 games.  They lead the league in scoring, defense, minor in possession offenses and specialty play.  They're going to win the Cup, the Jennings, the Clemente award.

The Wings have no chance.  

So you can't watch it.  Don't even listen to it. Just comment when you feel a tingle.  Or don't comment at all.  Read something.  Write your congressman a ditty and tell him the Navy actually, you know, belongs at sea and it might be a good idea to, you know, get his fat ass back to Washington and send us there...to sea, that is. That's a sequestration reference, by the way.

But don't watch this shit show.  And a shit show it will be. Detroyet doesn't  have the firepower. Our young defense is just not stout enough. Our coach is overrated and their coach is a savant.

They have Hossa. We have Franzen.  Repeat that to yourself five times and then end it all.

The mountain is too steep.  The only thing the Wings possibly have going for them...

...is the fact that they simply win games like this.  They do and you know it.  You've been looking forward to this with calm confidence when all the smart kids say we should dread it.

You don't dread it.  Because you know.

Wings win. In regulation.  By two goals.

Forget what I said about not watching this. That was stupid. Watch this one.  It's a Live Blog bitches.

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Comments

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MsRedWinger's avatar

I’m not sure anyone’s noticed this but Uncle Mike has Datsyuk playing with Cleary and Abdelkader.  Has anyone mentioned to him just how fuching stupid and wasteful that is?

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 03/03/13 at 01:21 PM ET

Pav always seems to get stuck with the “experimental” line, or the line with the left overs.  So unfair to him.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 03/03/13 at 02:25 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Back from church now.  Hey, who does Babs have playing with Pav?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 03/03/13 at 02:27 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Eaves-Datsyuk-Tootoo

Posted by monkey from Finland on 03/03/13 at 02:27 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Eaves-Datsyuk-Tootoo

Now you’re talkin’.

Posted by calquake on 03/03/13 at 02:28 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Hey, who does Babs have playing with Pav?

Stupid and Wasteful

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/03/13 at 02:28 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Eaves-Datsyuk-Tootoo

Bonjour!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 03/03/13 at 02:29 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 03/03/13 at 02:29 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Hey, who does Babs have playing with Pav?

Stupid and Wasteful

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/03/13 at 01:28 PM ET

And really… who doesn’t know Abby is Stupid and Cleary is Wasteful?

Posted by calquake on 03/03/13 at 02:29 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Eaves-Datsyuk-Tootoo

Posted by monkey from Fear and Loathing on 03/03/13 at 01:27 PM ET

I would totally get behind this.  At least to try…

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/03/13 at 02:29 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Eaves, Dats and Tot.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 03/03/13 at 02:30 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

And really… who doesn’t know Abby is Stupid and Cleary is Wasteful?

Posted by calquake on 03/03/13 at 01:29 PM ET

I thought they were Dopey and Sleepy

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 03/03/13 at 02:30 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I’m not sure anyone’s noticed this but Uncle Mike has Datsyuk playing with Cleary and Abdelkader.  Has anyone mentioned to him just how fuching stupid and wasteful that is?

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 03/03/13 at 01:21 PM ET

Why is he punishing #13?

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/03/13 at 02:30 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Franzen with the blast.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 03/03/13 at 02:31 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

And really… who doesn’t know Abby is Stupid and Cleary is Wasteful?

I love these colorful nicknames.  Who’s on first?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/03/13 at 02:31 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

nICE sHOT, mULE!

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/03/13 at 02:31 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Nice “shot”

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/03/13 at 02:31 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Even missing bodies we have options with this lineup but the fresca drinker doesnt see it that way.
We need more shoot… doing the same thing but yelling to try harder doesnt seem to work.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 03/03/13 at 02:31 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Who’s on first?

who doesn’t know

Posted by calquake on 03/03/13 at 02:32 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Mule-sless.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/03/13 at 02:32 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Drop pass giveaway at the blue line Mule?  Classy.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 03/03/13 at 02:32 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Why is he punishing #13?

He’s not.  He’s being fair to the others.  Dastyuk was making them all look bad.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 03/03/13 at 02:32 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Who’s on first?

Where else would he play?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 03/03/13 at 02:33 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Wait I just figgered it out.
This is all Ian Whites fault here.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 03/03/13 at 02:33 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

PP.  (Praying to the hockey gods.)

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 03/03/13 at 02:34 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

I’m done referring to Franzen as the mule.  It really isn’t fair to mules.  They work damn hard.  Franzen touching doesn’t.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/03/13 at 02:34 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Of course they didn’tsee the high stick…

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 03/03/13 at 02:34 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

No call.  Must be that subtle high sticking that the Hawks always get away with.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 03/03/13 at 02:34 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I am so sick of these blind officials. Zebra suckage.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/03/13 at 02:34 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Wait.  Wasn’t that a high stick?  Zebras?  Hello!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 03/03/13 at 02:34 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Give us a make up call, so the Hawks can score a shorty.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 03/03/13 at 02:34 PM ET

shanetx's avatar

Pav always seems to get stuck with the “experimental” line, or the line with the left overs.  So unfair to him.

My perception is very, very different.  In 08, as we know, they won a cup with he and Z playing together.  The following year (08-09) Datsyuk had Hossa and Homer and Z had Franzen and Cleary.  Advantage Datsyuk. 

In 09-10, with Hossa gone, Datsyuk had Franzen and Homer.  Z had Cleary and a variety of others.  Advantage Datsyuk.

In 10-11 and 11-12, Datsyuk had Franzen-Bertuzzi.  My memory of 10-11 is a bit fuzzy, but all last year it was Hudler-Filpulla.  Advantage Datsyuk.

Babcock has pretty clearly used Z as the defensive shutdown line for the last four years with Datsyuk being the favored offensive player.  That’s pretty fair; Z’s better as a shutdown guy and Datsyuk can do what he does (voodoo like theivery) even better against lower quality of competition.  This year, for the first time, Z has the better linemates.  Any other way to look at it seems horrifically untrue.

 

Posted by shanetx from Floydada, Texas on 03/03/13 at 02:34 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

That Tatar is a badass

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 03/03/13 at 02:34 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Subtle trip.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 03/03/13 at 02:35 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

JFC.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 03/03/13 at 02:35 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

annnnnnnnnnnnnnd ...

no call

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/03/13 at 02:35 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Jeesus effin christ…. 2 very obvious non calls in a minute.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 03/03/13 at 02:35 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I’m done referring to Franzen as the mule.

Okay then… Ass it is.

Posted by calquake on 03/03/13 at 02:35 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Double standard of officiating.  High sticking, tripping, it’s all good when youre not wearing red

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 03/03/13 at 02:35 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

It is so obvious. Carcilo twice and no call.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 03/03/13 at 02:36 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Good shift.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 03/03/13 at 02:36 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com