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Abel to Yzerman

With A Heave And, Naturally, A Ho….We’re Trapped

I'd be interested to see who can figure out the title and why it applies to us.  The trap part will be explained shortly.  The other? Yours to decipher, Sherlock.  

When did we start naming snow storms?

Today's Edmonton game?  Trap.  Yes, we're tied with the Oilers for the coveted 8 spot in the West so a strong effort from those youngsters shouldn't be surprising.  But still...considering what the Wings did a few days ago against the flailing, choking, spewing and sputtering Blues (how's your boy Hitch now, eh? He's not so cuddly when you're losing is he?)...today's a trap.

And we've done some research you'll find interesting.

Since Gary's first work stoppage, his first opus, the Wings have played hundreds of trap games.  Now, wait.  A "trap game" is defined as follows by a sports book I found at the AM/PM lodged incorrectly but conveniently between some beer nuts and a bag of Ricola; "any time a team has won its most recently-played game against an opponent many consider to be superior, there is a great risk of emotional letdown and neurological relaxation.  Evidence of this was first discovered in 1987 on a large scale when the heavily favored Detroit Tigers lost to the Minnesota Twins in an American League Championship Series following a particularly intense three-week end to a regular season that saw Kirk Gibson turn the Toronto Blue Jays into his own personal prison bitch and play toy."  It says that, word for word. 

So, using that definition, the Wings have played 357 "trap" games.  They've lost 355.  That's just science.  I looked it up and I found those numbers and they're accurate and you create something from your ivory fuching tower if you don't believe me.

I made it up.  All of it. The definition, the number, the beer nuts. Everything,  But I do know today is a trap game and we're almost certainly going to lose.  There is no chance in a fiery Hell the Wings win this after blasting the Blues in front of their Joe Camel fans with their "Europe" concert t-shirts stained with Boone's Farm and crusted over a few times because the sock drawer was full. 

Todd Bertuzzi's out with a back injury and if you haven't seen The Following you need to because now we know how our Serial Killer has so many friends on this team.  It's a damn cult is what it is.  So he's hurt and Jimmah's back but deep down inside we see the burning ember of a _____ ______rsy.  It's what we do.

Trap game. Disaster coming.  Diasssttterrrrr coming.

Wings win 5-3.  Zetterman. Buckets (again). Kronwall. Brunnnnnnnner (2).

It's a mid-day Live Blog, bitches.  

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Comments

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Little Redhead's avatar

There will be days that you regret sharing that information with the 19. Probably starting today Posted by dougie on 02/09/13 at 02:21 PM ET

I Never regret, wait in this case…..maybe!


Now, I’m drooling Posted by SYF from yet another half-ass season by Proskauer Rose LLP on 02/09/13 at 02:22 PM ET

Thanks… (I think)!

LGRW

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 02:28 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I did that when I was 15 listening to “making love in the green grass with you, my brown eyed girl.”


“Brown eyed”?  Shit.  I always thought it was “brown eye”. Totally changes the vibe.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 02/09/13 at 02:30 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Posted by SYF from yet another half-ass season by Proskauer Rose LLP on 02/09/13 at 02:28

EXACTLY, WTF was that.  I was screamin’ at the TV

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 02:32 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Calling TooToo -  to bring in some energy!

Go Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 02:32 PM ET

SYF's avatar

brb, 19.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:33 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Things are getting busy around here, I have to tap out of this game and LB.

Enjoy the rest, bar is open, and Let’s Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 02:34 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Later Voox.

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:35 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

PP- Time to score!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 02:38 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

LET’S DO THIS!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:38 PM ET

monkey's avatar

42jeff, can you humor me and change the slogan on the bus to “All your liver are belong to us”?  I’m a pedant, I know.  I love you.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 02/09/13 at 02:41 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Who was that masked PP?

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:41 PM ET

SYF's avatar

55 seconds left on the PP and I see the Wings looking like angry mutherfuchers.  I like it.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:42 PM ET

SYF's avatar

HTO, after seeing that shit, now I got me a new target for my bile.  Fuching Q…

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:43 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

On that pp a few really good passes to the slot were passed up to throw the puck back to the point. I don’t get that.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 02/09/13 at 02:43 PM ET

monkey's avatar

WTF, Q???  Why’d you quit skating on an Oils rush?

Turnstile.  “Oh, no, please, after you.”

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 02/09/13 at 02:45 PM ET

calquake's avatar

one who is unimaginative or who unduly emphasizes minutiae in the presentation or use of knowledge

So that’s why your picture was next to the definition, eh monkey.  Who knew? smile

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:46 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Aw, fuch…

And at the last minute.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:46 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Another offensives zone penalty Cleary. WTF?

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 02/09/13 at 02:46 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Wow that call sucked…..wasn’t like Cleary was trying to down the goalie.

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 02:46 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Magic Pavel , way to go,picking Oiler pocket!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 02:47 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Wings rocked that PK

They’re getting into it but they have another gear.  They’re still just a little out of sync.  They seemed to be close early, should look even better next period, cleaner.  I hope.  Seem to keep noticing Tatar and Abby this game, good help setting the tone for the team.

I love 2pm hockey.

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 02:50 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

lmmfao, oh man that lil kid was hilarious

Guy “Did you make a big play or an assist or anything in the game?!”

Kid “no :(”

hilarious

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 02:51 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Wings rocked that PK

Let’s hope that becomes the norm.

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:53 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

disappointed we didn’t get a goal out of all those minutes taking it to them.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 02:53 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Oh I kill me

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 12:58 PM ET

Well done - - and with all sincerity - - thank you for your service to our country.

Sorry I am late, bitches.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 02:53 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I always thought it was “brown eye”. Totally changes the vibe.

Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 02/09/13 at 02:30 PM ET

You Nasty.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 02:55 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

So I stopped by table/group selling baked goods outside grocery store this am, I selected 4 things and said how much, little kids says that’s a dollar, I said how about I give you $4 dollars, and he pipped up, without missing a beat, well how about getting 6 more items…..Smart Kid, I handed him a $10 dollar bill.  smile

Sharing, but not about me, about helping kids who go out in the cold to raise money for their teams, gotta love the kids!

0-0 after the First period - hmmmm, come on Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 02:55 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

This season’s been missing something…

http://www.olstead.net/pictures/Renee Olstead All Growed Up and Sexy/image/renee-olstead-pics-488.jpg

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:56 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

grrrrr…image fail

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:56 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I was trying to find a pic of this ginger wearing black rim glasses in one of her roles on TV, but this will have to do.  She does prove that you can still be irresistible with black nerd glasses.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 02:56 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Sharing, but not about me, about helping kids who go out in the cold to raise money for their teams, gotta love the kids!

You could raise more money by setting up a mud wrestling tournament.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 02/09/13 at 02:57 PM ET

42jeff's avatar


Note to self…preview first…

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:57 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Yes Monkey…. that’s true and we did raise a lot of money.  I still am mad to his day, my hot pink bikini got ruined…..

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 02:59 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Also, Ericsson, strongest D tonight again.  Never frantic, smart play so far.

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 03:00 PM ET

SYF's avatar

my hot pink bikini got ruined…..

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer’s chair on 02/09/13 at 02:59 PM ET

You’re not making this any easier.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 03:01 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Also, Ericsson, strongest D tonight again.  Never frantic, smart play so far.

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 03:00 PM ET

Ok…show of hands who expected to see THAT at anytime after his first season

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 03:01 PM ET

calquake's avatar

So I stopped by table/group selling baked goods outside grocery store this am, I selected 4 things and said how much, little kids says that’s a dollar, I said how about I give you $4 dollars, and he pipped up, without missing a beat, well how about getting 6 more items…..Smart Kid, I handed him a $10 dollar bill.  smile

Send him to go see The Donald.

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 03:01 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

speaking of hot pink bikinis

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 03:02 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 03:02 PM ET

Awww…the hell, Jeff?

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 03:03 PM ET

calquake's avatar

  my hot pink bikini got ruined…..

  Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer’s chair on 02/09/13 at 02:59 PM ET

You’re not making this any easier.

Posted by SYF from yet another half-ass season by Proskauer Rose LLP on 02/09/13 at 03:01 PM ET

I think you meant, “You’re making this much harder”.  cheese

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 03:04 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com