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Abel to Yzerman

With A Heave And, Naturally, A Ho….We’re Trapped

I'd be interested to see who can figure out the title and why it applies to us.  The trap part will be explained shortly.  The other? Yours to decipher, Sherlock.  

When did we start naming snow storms?

Today's Edmonton game?  Trap.  Yes, we're tied with the Oilers for the coveted 8 spot in the West so a strong effort from those youngsters shouldn't be surprising.  But still...considering what the Wings did a few days ago against the flailing, choking, spewing and sputtering Blues (how's your boy Hitch now, eh? He's not so cuddly when you're losing is he?)...today's a trap.

And we've done some research you'll find interesting.

Since Gary's first work stoppage, his first opus, the Wings have played hundreds of trap games.  Now, wait.  A "trap game" is defined as follows by a sports book I found at the AM/PM lodged incorrectly but conveniently between some beer nuts and a bag of Ricola; "any time a team has won its most recently-played game against an opponent many consider to be superior, there is a great risk of emotional letdown and neurological relaxation.  Evidence of this was first discovered in 1987 on a large scale when the heavily favored Detroit Tigers lost to the Minnesota Twins in an American League Championship Series following a particularly intense three-week end to a regular season that saw Kirk Gibson turn the Toronto Blue Jays into his own personal prison bitch and play toy."  It says that, word for word. 

So, using that definition, the Wings have played 357 "trap" games.  They've lost 355.  That's just science.  I looked it up and I found those numbers and they're accurate and you create something from your ivory fuching tower if you don't believe me.

I made it up.  All of it. The definition, the number, the beer nuts. Everything,  But I do know today is a trap game and we're almost certainly going to lose.  There is no chance in a fiery Hell the Wings win this after blasting the Blues in front of their Joe Camel fans with their "Europe" concert t-shirts stained with Boone's Farm and crusted over a few times because the sock drawer was full. 

Todd Bertuzzi's out with a back injury and if you haven't seen The Following you need to because now we know how our Serial Killer has so many friends on this team.  It's a damn cult is what it is.  So he's hurt and Jimmah's back but deep down inside we see the burning ember of a _____ ______rsy.  It's what we do.

Trap game. Disaster coming.  Diasssttterrrrr coming.

Wings win 5-3.  Zetterman. Buckets (again). Kronwall. Brunnnnnnnner (2).

It's a mid-day Live Blog, bitches.  

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Comments

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RWBill's avatar

I just watched the last 10 minutes or so of the game on CBC broadcast.

Did you know that Franzen is one of the best at staying in front of the net and blocking the goalie’s view?  They said he was.

Every other word was Ryan Nugent Hopkins.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 05:11 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

this cat has kind of long and wild hair.  if i don’t cut hair off his hind quarters and keep it short things can get ‘matted’.  here goes.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 05:13 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I just watched the last 10 minutes or so of the game on CBC broadcast.

Did you know that Franzen is one of the best at staying in front of the net and blocking the goalie’s view?  They said he was.

Every other word was Ryan Nugent Hopkins.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:11 PM ET

.

Yea. They said that after Kronner’s goal. And, you forgot the hyphen.(Nugent-Hopkins-sarcasm.)

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/09/13 at 05:16 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Every other word was Ryan-Nugent-Hopkins.

Fixed.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 02/09/13 at 06:06 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I just tuned in to the Montreal Toronto game because Purdue basketball sux.

I have read this, but seeing it in person on TV is another thing;  PK Subban has an unbelievable slap shot from the blue line on the power play.  It is the hardest fastest piece of rubber I’ve seen since that Trojan froze in the back seat of the Galaxy 500 one December.

His shot is ridickulously powerful.

The complexion of our team changes every day, but beefing up the D and the PP will still be with us for the rest of the season I bet.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 08:47 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com