Abel to Yzerman
With A Heave And, Naturally, A Ho….We’re Trapped
by IwoCPO on 02/09/13 at 01:00 PM ET
Comments (284)
I'd be interested to see who can figure out the title and why it applies to us. The trap part will be explained shortly. The other? Yours to decipher, Sherlock.
When did we start naming snow storms?
Today's Edmonton game? Trap. Yes, we're tied with the Oilers for the coveted 8 spot in the West so a strong effort from those youngsters shouldn't be surprising. But still...considering what the Wings did a few days ago against the flailing, choking, spewing and sputtering Blues (how's your boy Hitch now, eh? He's not so cuddly when you're losing is he?)...today's a trap.
And we've done some research you'll find interesting.
Since Gary's first work stoppage, his first opus, the Wings have played hundreds of trap games. Now, wait. A "trap game" is defined as follows by a sports book I found at the AM/PM lodged incorrectly but conveniently between some beer nuts and a bag of Ricola; "any time a team has won its most recently-played game against an opponent many consider to be superior, there is a great risk of emotional letdown and neurological relaxation. Evidence of this was first discovered in 1987 on a large scale when the heavily favored Detroit Tigers lost to the Minnesota Twins in an American League Championship Series following a particularly intense three-week end to a regular season that saw Kirk Gibson turn the Toronto Blue Jays into his own personal prison bitch and play toy." It says that, word for word.
So, using that definition, the Wings have played 357 "trap" games. They've lost 355. That's just science. I looked it up and I found those numbers and they're accurate and you create something from your ivory fuching tower if you don't believe me.
I made it up. All of it. The definition, the number, the beer nuts. Everything, But I do know today is a trap game and we're almost certainly going to lose. There is no chance in a fiery Hell the Wings win this after blasting the Blues in front of their Joe Camel fans with their "Europe" concert t-shirts stained with Boone's Farm and crusted over a few times because the sock drawer was full.
Todd Bertuzzi's out with a back injury and if you haven't seen The Following you need to because now we know how our Serial Killer has so many friends on this team. It's a damn cult is what it is. So he's hurt and Jimmah's back but deep down inside we see the burning ember of a _____ ______rsy. It's what we do.
Trap game. Disaster coming. Diasssttterrrrr coming.
Wings win 5-3. Zetterman. Buckets (again). Kronwall. Brunnnnnnnner (2).
It's a mid-day Live Blog, bitches.
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Comments
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I’ll take pictures if anyone wants.
It’s not clean like George’s.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 04:20 PM ET
Heh. Kitty porn.
Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 02/09/13 at 05:21 PM ET
the three amigos, shoulder to shoulder, in the middle of the rink, hahahaha
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 05:21 PM ET
I’d just take the cat outback and shoot it before I’d clean a bunged up touch hole.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 02/09/13 at 04:19 PM ET
that would have been my dad’s solution. I think it’s illegal to discharge a weapon in a residential area in this county. I don’t have a silencer.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:22 PM ET
don’t go anywhere, i have to pee.
You Nasty.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:23 PM ET
I’m going to have to turn that pussy upside down between my legs and poke around.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:24 PM ET
I don’t have a silencer.
You’ve never met my ex.
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 04:23 PM ET
hahahahahaha
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:25 PM ET
omg playing with fire, another PK
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:27 PM ET
ahhhhhh zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 05:29 PM ET
No finish for the Swede.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 02/09/13 at 05:29 PM ET
WOW 3rd period has been very EXCITING!!!
LGRW!!!!
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 05:31 PM ET
Ah Miller. Hit the net.
Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 02/09/13 at 05:31 PM ET
seems like we should be up 5-1
Abdelkader right there again, sooner or later those are going to start falling, with the appropriate rewards.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:32 PM ET
Suddenly he’s the Bulin Wall again? Geez.
Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 02/09/13 at 05:34 PM ET
Johan Franzen, the four million dollars a year man… through 2020.
Genius.
Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 02/09/13 at 05:35 PM ET
oh JFC. PK plus pull the goalie, 6x4 coming.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:35 PM ET
give him a penalty shot on an empty net
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:38 PM ET
Hey everybody… thanks for the “nooner”. Very satisfying. See youse tomorrow.
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 05:38 PM ET
2 points. Well earned at that.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 02/09/13 at 05:39 PM ET
whew! a clean 2 points!!!
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:39 PM ET
Jimmah needed this.
Way to go, Wings!
Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 02/09/13 at 05:40 PM ET
Breathing again, Awesome afternoon game with you NUTz and the WINGS- WOO HOO!
WINGS ROCK!!!!!
Hope to catch you all tomorrow. 
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 05:40 PM ET
Suddenly he’s the Bulin Wall again? Geez.
Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 02/09/13 at 04:34 PM ET
I find it highly suspect. Performance enhancers?
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/09/13 at 05:41 PM ET
Back at it tomorrow. I want Mrazek! Game’s on NBC. I want to get a look at the kid.
See you all!
Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 02/09/13 at 05:41 PM ET
Tie for 5-6-7 !
Now, on to cleaning cat anus!
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:41 PM ET
Back at it tomorrow. I want Mrazek! Game’s on NBC. I want to get a look at the kid.
See you all!
Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 02/09/13 at 04:41 PM ET
I expect we’ll see that, he didn’t have to be spectacular last time but was good. Go vs Quick tomorree.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 05:43 PM ET
Good trap style game if there is such a thing.
Lets get 2 more tomorrow. Hope to see Mrazek play. Have a wonnerful afternoon 19.
Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 02/09/13 at 05:44 PM ET
ust as a filler during the break, one of my cats has a bunged up anus with about a silver dollar sized clump of dried cat feces. I’m going to have to go at and clear the thing out so the poor boy can poop. I’m drinking excessively now so I won’t be sickened.
Oh my god. One of my rabbits had a problem like this once. It was caused by poor diet.
Posted by monkey from Finland on 02/09/13 at 06:08 PM ET
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About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com
L-bee fixed. TMI RW.
Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 02/09/13 at 05:21 PM ET