Abel to Yzerman
With A Heave And, Naturally, A Ho….We’re Trapped
by IwoCPO on 02/09/13 at 01:00 PM ET
Comments (284)
I'd be interested to see who can figure out the title and why it applies to us. The trap part will be explained shortly. The other? Yours to decipher, Sherlock.
When did we start naming snow storms?
Today's Edmonton game? Trap. Yes, we're tied with the Oilers for the coveted 8 spot in the West so a strong effort from those youngsters shouldn't be surprising. But still...considering what the Wings did a few days ago against the flailing, choking, spewing and sputtering Blues (how's your boy Hitch now, eh? He's not so cuddly when you're losing is he?)...today's a trap.
And we've done some research you'll find interesting.
Since Gary's first work stoppage, his first opus, the Wings have played hundreds of trap games. Now, wait. A "trap game" is defined as follows by a sports book I found at the AM/PM lodged incorrectly but conveniently between some beer nuts and a bag of Ricola; "any time a team has won its most recently-played game against an opponent many consider to be superior, there is a great risk of emotional letdown and neurological relaxation. Evidence of this was first discovered in 1987 on a large scale when the heavily favored Detroit Tigers lost to the Minnesota Twins in an American League Championship Series following a particularly intense three-week end to a regular season that saw Kirk Gibson turn the Toronto Blue Jays into his own personal prison bitch and play toy." It says that, word for word.
So, using that definition, the Wings have played 357 "trap" games. They've lost 355. That's just science. I looked it up and I found those numbers and they're accurate and you create something from your ivory fuching tower if you don't believe me.
I made it up. All of it. The definition, the number, the beer nuts. Everything, But I do know today is a trap game and we're almost certainly going to lose. There is no chance in a fiery Hell the Wings win this after blasting the Blues in front of their Joe Camel fans with their "Europe" concert t-shirts stained with Boone's Farm and crusted over a few times because the sock drawer was full.
Todd Bertuzzi's out with a back injury and if you haven't seen The Following you need to because now we know how our Serial Killer has so many friends on this team. It's a damn cult is what it is. So he's hurt and Jimmah's back but deep down inside we see the burning ember of a _____ ______rsy. It's what we do.
Trap game. Disaster coming. Diasssttterrrrr coming.
Wings win 5-3. Zetterman. Buckets (again). Kronwall. Brunnnnnnnner (2).
It's a mid-day Live Blog, bitches.
Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
Comments
« Previous ‹ First < 3 4 5 6 7 > Last › Next »
OMG…. did you see the size of…. that flower in her hair?
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 04:24 PM ET
another penalty.. there’s absolutely no reason the Wings shouldn’t be up 1 in the next few minutes. None.
Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 04:24 PM ET
monkey you rock
Thank you and you’re welcome.
Posted by monkey from Finland on 02/09/13 at 04:24 PM ET
Just the tip. Just to see how it feels.
Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 02/09/13 at 03:23 PM ET
You Nasty.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 04:26 PM ET
OMG…. did you see the size of…. that flower in her hair?
I was mesmerized by the gems on her necklace.
Posted by monkey from Finland on 02/09/13 at 04:27 PM ET
I am thinking I have to get me some bacon and flowers…
Yeah Wings 1-0
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 04:27 PM ET
was mesmerized by the gems on her necklace.
Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 02/09/13 at 03:27 PM ET
She was wearing a necklace?
Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 04:27 PM ET
Pavel Datsyuk, 7th all time in total points, Detroit Red Wings.
Posted by monkey from Finland on 02/09/13 at 04:28 PM ET
I am thinking I have to get me some bacon and flowers…
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer’s chair on 02/09/13 at 03:27 PM ET
Check in the bushes.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 04:28 PM ET
Check in the bushes.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 03:28 PM ET
You Nasty.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 04:29 PM ET
I am thinking I have to get me some bacon and flowers…
And lose the hot pink bikini. 
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 04:29 PM ET
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer’s chair on 02/09/13 at 03:27 PM ET
HAHAHA. You’re awesome.
Posted by monkey from Finland on 02/09/13 at 04:29 PM ET
Jimmah X2 - - wow
monkeys loose in the D zone, again
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 04:30 PM ET
my god how open was he in the slot?
that’s what she said.
You Nasty.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 04:31 PM ET
monkeys loose in the D zone, again
Security at the Joe has been really lax lately. Anyone want any autographs?
Posted by monkey from Finland on 02/09/13 at 04:31 PM ET
Do you ever get the feeling waching Pav stickhandle that he goes into one of those matrix zones where everybody else is in slow motion but him?
Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 04:31 PM ET
Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 03:31 PM ET
I’m like 99% sure he’s The One.
Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 04:32 PM ET
Bye, Bye mr. taylor hall…...
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 04:34 PM ET
I think we all know what the “A” on Hall’s jersey stands for.
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 04:34 PM ET
Afternoon bitches…. better late than never.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 02/09/13 at 04:34 PM ET
Abdelkader had a great World Tourney with Team USA and he’s going to the front of the net a lot. Still coming up empty but I expect he’s going to start scoring 12 - 15 goals a year, I just hope it’s with Detroit when that starts happening.
And I’m not just saying that because I want my daughter to get Oral with him.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 04:35 PM ET
Bye bye Hall for trippping.
Ericsson is phenomenal when he plays his size. Routinely puts F’s on the ice.
Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 04:36 PM ET
And I’m not just saying that because I want my daughter to get Oral with him.
You Nasty.
Posted by monkey from Finland on 02/09/13 at 04:36 PM ET
What a chance by Brunner
Kronwall - - i don’t know what to say, he isn’t helping on the PP
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 04:37 PM ET
And I’m not just saying that because I want my daughter to get Oral with him.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 03:35 PM ET
Hershieser?
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 04:37 PM ET
Somebody stop me…I should NOT have reinstalled photoshop
Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 04:39 PM ET
« Previous ‹ First < 3 4 5 6 7 > Last › Next »
Add a Comment
Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.
Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.
Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.
Most Recent Blog Posts
The Twenty-Cent Opera And Not-So-Secret Biases
GDT - WCSF Game 3: Red Wings (1-1) host Hawks (1-1) 7:30
Saving Both Barrels For Captain Farrell
GDT - WCSF Game 2: Red Wings (0-1) at Hawks (1-0) 1:00
“Pierre McGuire is a Douche Canoe” Ticket Contest
About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com
Brunner with a helluva pass
Mule clearing out the crease
great play
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 04:23 PM ET