Red Wings fans are grappling with change now and we, sincerely, are not handling it well. We don't know what to do with a shitty hockey team. We quite literally have no idea how to spend an April without playoff hockey. Oh, we know how to spend May without the playoffs. We're used to that, Kenny. Yes we are.

But...the Detroit Red Wings are in last place and there is no reason to believe they'll be leaving that spot any time soon.

There will be no post season. The streak, Ken Holland's personal odyssey of mediocrity, is done.

We haven't come to grips with that, but we understand that it's happening in front of us. Like birth. Like men in a delivery room. Stay near the head, feed her some ice chips, say some words that offer little and are really just you opening your mouth to make sounds that no one, including you, even care about. Don't walk around. Do. Not. Walk. Around. You could. You could look but it's really not your business and you wouldn't understand it.

We don't understand what's happening.

Are we supposed to want the Wings to lose? Are we supposed to, tell me this one slowly because I honestly cannot wrap my head around it, cheer when the Wings let up the first goal for the 31st time in 51 games on Friday?

Where we used to scour the standings to guess first round matchups, now we're seeing who else we're competing with for a lottery pick.

How the hell does the lottery work, anyway?

Tell us Blackhawk fans, Pens fans and Maple Leaf fans. Holy shit. Educate us, Oiler fans. Tell us how to hope our team sucks even worse so that we improve through a draft that has always been a side show to us.

Tell us how to hope the Wings keep losing. Tell us how to laugh away shitty hockey for the greater good and a brighter future. How do you find comfort in that place? Oh, I know. None of you could really understand this. None of you really have had the success our team has over this period of time. I can ask for advice, but it's unprecedented.

So many of you. So many KK readers have endured your favorite teams as they tanked and stank and lost and lost and lost. So few of you could possibly fathom what it's like to be avid fans of a team with such sustained excellence that is now...just bad.

But you have that leg up on us. You have information that we need.

Where do we go to find out who we should hope the Wings draft with a very high pick? We've never looked.

What does it feel like when your GM sells your team at the deadline so you can get more picks because your team sucks so very badly? We've never experienced it. Almost every single one of you has. We need your wisdom on that.

Do you actually attend the draft? Where is the draft? Do they have beer there? Do you share sneaky grins with fans of other terrible teams, knowing you're about to draft a can't-miss?

Who turns the bingo ball? Can we rig it? Have you?

What's it like to trade a captain? We might. So many of you have and pretended to like it...for the greater good.

Did you fight amongst yourselves when your team sucked, Hawk fans? I mean, most of you weren't actually, you know, fans when they sucked. But did you? Did you squabble? We're used to arguing about playoff-related matters. Now we just kind of, I don't know, point finger guns at each other and make stupid sounds because there's no intellectual ammo in the chamber.

It's a fruitless feeling, being fans of a bad team. We need your help. Almost every one of you, except Wing fans, have seen your teams get better only after sucking for multiple years. Tanking. Giving up. Your teams have all sucked while ours has been superior for more than two decades.

We respect what you've been through. Please help us cope.

Thank you.