Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

We’ll Watch The White Doves Go, Bubba. That’s What You See In Houses of the Holy.

It’s a 5-game series now, Bubba.  Three of those games will be at Detroit’s Joe Louis Arena.  It’s dirty and the stairs are sticky.  Working people go there and they drink cheap beer sold expensively. You have Vince Gill with a stupid t-shirt, we have a statue of the greatest hockey player in history.  You have two skanks taking stupid pictures pretending to be Shea Weber.  We have eleven Stanley Cup banners hanging from the most prolific rafters in the United States.

It’s back to the Joe where the team you face today didn’t lose for 23 straight games back when they were healthy.

The same JLA where you’ve never won a playoff game. Not one.

There are no train whistles at the Joe.  There are no catfish…but we know why you throw them down in wannabeDetroit don’t we?

You won’t see the baby shit jerseys in Detroit today, Bubba. Not along the glass, not in the mez, not buying beer in the concourse.  You’ll see red and white with numbers like 19 and 25, 16 and 24, by god.

You won’t hear “Who Let The Dogs Out”, and it’s unbelievable (almost) that we heard it in your cookie cutter arena during Game 2.  You will hear the legendary Budd Lynch.  You’ll hear the stylings of one Bullet Bob Seger and our Uncle Ted Nugent.

And you’ll hear some Journey when the time is exactly right.

You’re wading into hell today, Bubba. And just think how much easier you’d be breathing had you taken Game 2.  A 2-0 lead would have been so relaxing, a pleasant stroll.  Nothing better than a 2-0 lead, brother. We’ve been there.  You?  Nevermind. Don’t answer that, Bubba. That was cruel.

Hibernation could have been so easy for the Wings, Bubba.  A few more months of sleep is what we all expected. Seriously.  Our hopes weren’t high for this series.  But now? Now we’re starting to think it just might be time for you to get your shine box.

It’s your own fault, with your brain-dead captain.  And to think he wanted to be a Wing in a year or so.  It’s your own fault with your Shananigans and your #webering.

Blame yourselves, Bubba.  It didn’t have to be like this.  But now Mecca beckons with a series on the line.

From the door of the Joe comes Satan’s daughter, and it only goes to show…

...you don’t fuch around in Houses of the Holy, Bubba.

It’s a Live Blog, bitches. 

15 to 12 in ‘12.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

« Previous        < 1 2 3 4 5 >  Last ›      Next »

Avatar

Why does every game start with a good chance for Nashville followed by someone not clearing the zone than another quick chance?

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/15/12 at 02:25 PM ET

Flapjack McZap's avatar

Alright Red Wings, crank it up.

Posted by Flapjack McZap on 04/15/12 at 02:25 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

JIMMAH! Starting on time, making saves.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 04/15/12 at 02:26 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

I’m here bitches. And penalty

Posted by Yzersyuk on 04/15/12 at 02:27 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

There’s the early bullshit.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/15/12 at 02:27 PM ET

Bent's avatar

They called that one Miller?!?!

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 04/15/12 at 02:27 PM ET

wedge56's avatar

We are the only team that ever, ever, ever gets called for that.

Posted by wedge56 on 04/15/12 at 02:28 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Are you fuching kidding me?  Fuch you, I hate that call.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/15/12 at 02:28 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

JIMMAH! Starting on time, making saves.

Why wouldn’t he? Lunch time is hockey time!

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/15/12 at 02:28 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

And it begins. Zebra suckage.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/15/12 at 02:28 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Well so much for a fast start.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/15/12 at 02:28 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Shea Weber helping drew Miller commit a penalty.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/15/12 at 02:28 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Flapjack…ima a liking yur hat.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 04/15/12 at 02:28 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Jimmah!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/15/12 at 02:29 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Damnit to hell

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/15/12 at 02:29 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Son of a bitch.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/15/12 at 02:30 PM ET

cainer4wingsglory's avatar

Nice to see the Wings starting on time…

Posted by cainer4wingsglory on 04/15/12 at 02:30 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

nO iTERFERENCE tHERE.

nOPE

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/15/12 at 02:30 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Intent to blow?

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 04/15/12 at 02:30 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Fuch this.  Shouldn’t have even been a PK.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 04/15/12 at 02:30 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

what happened to being able to drive the net with the puck in the NHL?!

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/15/12 at 02:30 PM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Ken Hitchkock has the right idea about broken sticks.  Go the to the bench and get another one.

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 04/15/12 at 02:30 PM ET

Joe Z.'s avatar

fuch that

Posted by Joe Z. from Austria on 04/15/12 at 02:30 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

UGH!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/15/12 at 02:30 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Why him?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/15/12 at 02:31 PM ET

wedge56's avatar

Are our sticks made out of balsa wood or something?

Posted by wedge56 on 04/15/12 at 02:31 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Nice lazy pass there Z.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/15/12 at 02:31 PM ET

Since71's avatar

I fear nothing.  LGRW

Posted by Since71 from Bucharest, Romania on 04/15/12 at 02:31 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Replay shows puck loose. But how aboot that crosscheck of a Wing player into the goalie. Nah, my lying eyes.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 04/15/12 at 02:32 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Hot damn, look at Nike go.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/15/12 at 02:32 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Great shift by Nike.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/15/12 at 02:32 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Nikewist is awesome

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/15/12 at 02:32 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Nice to see the Wings starting on time…

Yeah, home ice advantage, coming off a win and starting the game flatter than week old beer,  Awesome.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/15/12 at 02:33 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Nike and Cleary are gonna connect for some goals… just you wait.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/15/12 at 02:33 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Nyquist/Cleary look ready

Posted by Yzersyuk on 04/15/12 at 02:34 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Little late on the screen there Huds.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/15/12 at 02:34 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Wings need some thought before their passes.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/15/12 at 02:36 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Nice flip.  Nice.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/15/12 at 02:36 PM ET

wedge56's avatar

Just showed another angle of the Weber crosscheck to Stuart’s head.  No idea how they could miss that.

Posted by wedge56 on 04/15/12 at 02:36 PM ET

Avatar

Just showed another angle of the Weber crosscheck to Stuart’s head.  No idea how they could miss that.

Posted by wedge56 on 04/15/12 at 12:36 PM ET

Try adjusting your tinfoil hat.  It will make sense then.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/15/12 at 02:37 PM ET

« Previous        < 1 2 3 4 5 >  Last ›      Next »

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Smileys

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Feed

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com