Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 04/05/12 at 07:00 PM ET
The interns were excited yesterday. Little tykes. Children really. On loan from institutions like Grand Valley State, Saginaw Valley, Northern Michigan and Ferris (oddly, the only schools willing to take a chance in 1987 on a young Irishman fresh off a straight C career at Saginaw’s Arthur Hill High School). They knew the import of last night’s game, how critical it was to the psyche of the 19…a fragile thing during the best of times. The interns met early, shook off their wine cooler hangovers and refined their pitch. By 2pm they were unified and rosy cheeked, gathered in the A2Y outer office, waiting for their moment to convince the Chief that the time had come to discard the doubts.
One by one I chastised them. It wasn’t the time for optimism. Happiness had no place in our hearts yesterday. Beating the ferocious Blues in St. Louis was too tall an order and one that shouldn’t be entertained by the likes of level-headed us. But they wore me down and by 6pm the live blog had posted and we’d danced on the limb. Mule would be the Moose. James Tiberius MF’ing Howard would return to form. Our swirling saucer of magic would lead us and even a tall boy named Jonny would remind us of the hope we had for him back in 2009, or was it ‘08? Somehow, the interns saw all this and they promised me that if I’d just show a few phrases of faith, I’d be rewarded.
So the LB went up and the Stress Train left the station for what we hope will be a long Spring journey into a Southern Michigan Summer. Predictions were published and that’s always a hinky proposition. We said that game 80 was precisely the kind of game the Wings would win because they’re, well, the Wings. We predicted a victory because the Blues are, well, bitches.
When the Wings gave up the inevitable shorty I fired every intern in the building. I told them to pack their miserable sacks of shit and banished them from A2Y headquarters. Two minutes later I posted every one of their resumes on St. Louis Game Time, declaring them fit for duty on that piss pot of a blog.
But then Moose became Mule again. Twice. The Wings tied it up and I brought the interns back in and gave them milk. We went to OT and baby Jesus told us we’d have our 12th (yes…12th) consecutive 100 point season. And then a Killer on the Road took a slow ditty to the crease and delivered a backhanded bitch slap to Blues fans everywhere and that was good.
And now, like Gordo told us, there are bones left to be chewed. Two of them. Just two and then the torture starts. Stay healthy. That’s all we can hope for. We can’t expect a dramatically improved power play because that’s just not going to happen. We can hope the offense picks up, that Franzen will somehow stay hot (and holy Hell he looked good in the third).
The interns are less optimistic today, of course. They tell me that after last night, tonite is exactly the kind of games the Wings lose. We know that’s just raw logic.
It’s a trap game of a Live Blog, bitches. Your emotions are now allowed to get the best, or worst, of you. Start now. Work your way into it, because in less than a week we’re all going to be worthless.
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About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org