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Abel to Yzerman

Two Bones Left To Be Chewed And Then All Bets Are Off

The interns were excited yesterday.  Little tykes. Children really.  On loan from institutions like Grand Valley State, Saginaw Valley, Northern Michigan and Ferris (oddly, the only schools willing to take a chance in 1987 on a young Irishman fresh off a straight C career at Saginaw’s Arthur Hill High School). They knew the import of last night’s game, how critical it was to the psyche of the 19…a fragile thing during the best of times.  The interns met early, shook off their wine cooler hangovers and refined their pitch.  By 2pm they were unified and rosy cheeked, gathered in the A2Y outer office, waiting for their moment to convince the Chief that the time had come to discard the doubts.

One by one I chastised them.  It wasn’t the time for optimism. Happiness had no place in our hearts yesterday.  Beating the ferocious Blues in St. Louis was too tall an order and one that shouldn’t be entertained by the likes of level-headed us.  But they wore me down and by 6pm the live blog had posted and we’d danced on the limb.  Mule would be the Moose.  James Tiberius MF’ing Howard would return to form. Our swirling saucer of magic would lead us and even a tall boy named Jonny would remind us of the hope we had for him back in 2009, or was it ‘08?  Somehow, the interns saw all this and they promised me that if I’d just show a few phrases of faith, I’d be rewarded.

So the LB went up and the Stress Train left the station for what we hope will be a long Spring journey into a Southern Michigan Summer.  Predictions were published and that’s always a hinky proposition.  We said that game 80 was precisely the kind of game the Wings would win because they’re, well, the Wings.  We predicted a victory because the Blues are, well, bitches. 

When the Wings gave up the inevitable shorty I fired every intern in the building. I told them to pack their miserable sacks of shit and banished them from A2Y headquarters.  Two minutes later I posted every one of their resumes on St. Louis Game Time, declaring them fit for duty on that piss pot of a blog.

But then Moose became Mule again.  Twice.  The Wings tied it up and I brought the interns back in and gave them milk.  We went to OT and baby Jesus told us we’d have our 12th (yes…12th) consecutive 100 point season.  And then a Killer on the Road took a slow ditty to the crease and delivered a backhanded bitch slap to Blues fans everywhere and that was good.

And now, like Gordo told us, there are bones left to be chewed. Two of them.  Just two and then the torture starts.  Stay healthy. That’s all we can hope for. We can’t expect a dramatically improved power play because that’s just not going to happen.  We can hope the offense picks up, that Franzen will somehow stay hot (and holy Hell he looked good in the third).

The interns are less optimistic today, of course. They tell me that after last night, tonite is exactly the kind of games the Wings lose.  We know that’s just raw logic. 

It’s a trap game of a Live Blog, bitches.  Your emotions are now allowed to get the best, or worst, of you.  Start now.  Work your way into it, because in less than a week we’re all going to be worthless.

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Comments

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bezukov's avatar

Five, actually.  I like to maintain an active thumb.

Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 04/05/12 at 09:10 PM ET

I’m sure the prehensile tail comes in handy.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 10:13 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Live long and prosper, bitches.

Cripes, it’s actually called The Spocker.  I wish I would have thought of that.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/05/12 at 10:13 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Dontforgetthestairsbuddeh

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 10:15 PM ET

Avatar

It always kind of bothered me. What if some team picks up a really obese 6’5 300lb guy , dress him in a goaltender gear and ram him into the cage tight.

He could be impenetrable. Pls discuss.

Posted by Alex on 04/05/12 at 10:15 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Cripes, it’s actually called The Spocker.  I wish I would have thought of that.

Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 04/05/12 at 09:13 PM ET

They thought The Vulcan Vulva Shocker was a bit too intellectual.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 10:16 PM ET

monkey's avatar

It always kind of bothered me. What if some team picks up a really obese 6’5 300lb guy , dress him in a goaltender gear and ram him into the cage tight.

He could be impenetrable. Pls discuss.

Don’t the Devils do this every night?

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/05/12 at 10:17 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

It always kind of bothered me. What if some team picks up a really obese 6’5 300lb guy , dress him in a goaltender gear and ram him into the cage tight.

He could be impenetrable. Pls discuss.

Posted by Alex on 04/05/12 at 09:15 PM ET


Goldberg?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/05/12 at 10:18 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

I know how you guys like red heads…

...this one has a great tail.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 10:18 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Ready bitches? 2 points.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/05/12 at 10:18 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Ndamukong Suh hmmmmm. dressed up in goalie gear?

can he play with out ice skates?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/05/12 at 10:18 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Let the commute commence!

Later sports fans…..

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 04/05/12 at 10:18 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

They thought The Vulcan Vulva Shocker was a bit too intellectual.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 09:16 PM ET

Thats why they call it the Muff Meld.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 10:19 PM ET

monkey's avatar

t always kind of bothered me. What if some team picks up a really obese 6’5 300lb guy , dress him in a goaltender gear and ram him

None of our business what they do in their free time.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/05/12 at 10:19 PM ET

calquake's avatar

...this one has a great tail.

Posted by bezukov from The Darkness with Harkness Redux on 04/05/12 at 09:18 PM ET

What a great looking pecker.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 10:19 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

get moving.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/05/12 at 10:20 PM ET

Avatar

Don’t the Devils do this every night?[/

+19

But we need a rule against it. right?

Posted by Alex on 04/05/12 at 10:21 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

None of our business what they do in their free time.

Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 04/05/12 at 09:19 PM ET

HAHAHA… you people kill me.  Cheers!

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 10:21 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Uncle Mike:  I liked our first eight minutes but I didn’t like our last 12 minutes.  I thought we were too cute.

Ad nauseum…

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/05/12 at 10:21 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

What a great looking pecker.

I’m a beaver guy.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/05/12 at 10:21 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

27:50 left in the 3rd???

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/05/12 at 10:22 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

now we play 30 minute periods?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/05/12 at 10:22 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/05/12 at 09:21 PM ET

I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 10:23 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

JIMMAH

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 10:24 PM ET

SYF's avatar

I’m a beaver guy.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/05/12 at 09:21 PM ET

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/05/12 at 10:24 PM ET

monkey's avatar

27:50 left in the 3rd???

Thanks, Gary.Ass

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/05/12 at 10:24 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Jimmy flashes his dong

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/05/12 at 10:24 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Kronwall and Stuart letting a forward get behind them.  Shocking.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/05/12 at 10:25 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

James.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/05/12 at 10:25 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Jimmy’s Dong.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/05/12 at 10:25 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

what kinda bad boy is the Qman?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/05/12 at 10:27 PM ET

SYF's avatar

what kinda bad boy is the Qman?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/05/12 at 09:27 PM ET

Ours?

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/05/12 at 10:28 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

what kinda bad boy is the Qman?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/05/12 at 09:27 PM ET

Seems to depend night from night.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 10:28 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Brain cramp from E-Fitty.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/05/12 at 10:28 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Ericsson working the puck down low to set up the cycle—for the Devils.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/05/12 at 10:28 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Get the fuching puck, Wings!

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/05/12 at 10:29 PM ET

Joe Z.'s avatar

freaking franzen, thsi guy is as one-dimensional as ovechkin, i hate him. can’t play a freaking pass without turningt it over everytime!

Posted by Joe Z. from Austria on 04/05/12 at 10:29 PM ET

Avatar

16;30 left and the pop-up is gone. Yay!
Now, crank up some offense, RW, pls

Posted by Alex on 04/05/12 at 10:30 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Quincey is a douchebag.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/05/12 at 10:30 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Gus understanding how much harder you need to play for the puck.  He just got bowled over.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/05/12 at 10:32 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Quincey is a douchebag.

A Q-bag?

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/05/12 at 10:32 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com