Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Two Bones Left To Be Chewed And Then All Bets Are Off

The interns were excited yesterday.  Little tykes. Children really.  On loan from institutions like Grand Valley State, Saginaw Valley, Northern Michigan and Ferris (oddly, the only schools willing to take a chance in 1987 on a young Irishman fresh off a straight C career at Saginaw’s Arthur Hill High School). They knew the import of last night’s game, how critical it was to the psyche of the 19…a fragile thing during the best of times.  The interns met early, shook off their wine cooler hangovers and refined their pitch.  By 2pm they were unified and rosy cheeked, gathered in the A2Y outer office, waiting for their moment to convince the Chief that the time had come to discard the doubts.

One by one I chastised them.  It wasn’t the time for optimism. Happiness had no place in our hearts yesterday.  Beating the ferocious Blues in St. Louis was too tall an order and one that shouldn’t be entertained by the likes of level-headed us.  But they wore me down and by 6pm the live blog had posted and we’d danced on the limb.  Mule would be the Moose.  James Tiberius MF’ing Howard would return to form. Our swirling saucer of magic would lead us and even a tall boy named Jonny would remind us of the hope we had for him back in 2009, or was it ‘08?  Somehow, the interns saw all this and they promised me that if I’d just show a few phrases of faith, I’d be rewarded.

So the LB went up and the Stress Train left the station for what we hope will be a long Spring journey into a Southern Michigan Summer.  Predictions were published and that’s always a hinky proposition.  We said that game 80 was precisely the kind of game the Wings would win because they’re, well, the Wings.  We predicted a victory because the Blues are, well, bitches. 

When the Wings gave up the inevitable shorty I fired every intern in the building. I told them to pack their miserable sacks of shit and banished them from A2Y headquarters.  Two minutes later I posted every one of their resumes on St. Louis Game Time, declaring them fit for duty on that piss pot of a blog.

But then Moose became Mule again.  Twice.  The Wings tied it up and I brought the interns back in and gave them milk.  We went to OT and baby Jesus told us we’d have our 12th (yes…12th) consecutive 100 point season.  And then a Killer on the Road took a slow ditty to the crease and delivered a backhanded bitch slap to Blues fans everywhere and that was good.

And now, like Gordo told us, there are bones left to be chewed. Two of them.  Just two and then the torture starts.  Stay healthy. That’s all we can hope for. We can’t expect a dramatically improved power play because that’s just not going to happen.  We can hope the offense picks up, that Franzen will somehow stay hot (and holy Hell he looked good in the third).

The interns are less optimistic today, of course. They tell me that after last night, tonite is exactly the kind of games the Wings lose.  We know that’s just raw logic. 

It’s a trap game of a Live Blog, bitches.  Your emotions are now allowed to get the best, or worst, of you.  Start now.  Work your way into it, because in less than a week we’re all going to be worthless.

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Comments

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Avatar

But what is that thing low left?

Posted by Alex on 04/05/12 at 10:57 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

White was all over Kovalchuk like… um… himself on rice?

Posted by RedMenace from the darkest recesses on 04/05/12 at 08:57 PM ET

White on rice on a sheet of ice?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 10:59 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

i think the ‘caster has a folder or something open on his computer.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 04/05/12 at 10:59 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

What was that thing that Mule just did with his body there?  Where he slammed it up against the other team’s player and the boards?

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 04/05/12 at 10:59 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

White on rice on a sheet of ice?

...nice

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/05/12 at 10:59 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Yaba was gone but now he’s back

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/05/12 at 11:00 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

I can’t remember how long its been since I’ve seen the Wings forecheck like they are tonight.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 11:00 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

My feed just switched to the Devils guys….lot’s of good facts on the Wings.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the prospect shuffle.... on 04/05/12 at 11:00 PM ET

calquake's avatar

White on rice on a sheet of ice?

...nice

Twice.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 11:00 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Clarkson knew Hudler would go to point.  Imagine that.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 11:01 PM ET

SYF's avatar

White on rice on a sheet of ice?

...nice

Twice.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 09:00 PM ET

Thrice.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/05/12 at 11:02 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Twice.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 09:00 PM ET

Thrice.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 11:02 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Seen on hand written sign at checkout of local grocery store:

Pen is broken.
Use finger.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/05/12 at 11:02 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

You know, I can’t believe there isn’t anyone in the NHL with the last name of “Rice.”

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/05/12 at 11:02 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

White on rice on a sheet of ice?

...nice

Twice.

...and thrice

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/05/12 at 11:02 PM ET

calquake's avatar

  White on rice on a sheet of ice?

  ...nice

  Twice.

  Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 09:00 PM ET

Thrice.

Very concise.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 11:02 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Stop rhyming now, I mean it!

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/05/12 at 11:02 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Happy working harder than I’ve ever seen him before.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/05/12 at 11:03 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Stop rhyming now, I mean it!

It’ll screw up my timing.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 11:03 PM ET

monkey's avatar

You know, I can’t believe there isn’t anyone in the NHL with the last name of “Rice.”

Steven?  Willard?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/05/12 at 11:03 PM ET

monkey's avatar

It’ll screw up my timing.

Sez you.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/05/12 at 11:04 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

What was that thing that Mule just did with his body there?  Where he slammed it up against the other team’s player and the boards?

Damn near like he did it on purpose.  If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he actually meant to do that.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/05/12 at 11:04 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Excellent period by the Wings.  Lots of sustained pressure on daddy uncle fatso.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/05/12 at 11:04 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Sez you.

And you.  And you.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 11:05 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Pen is broken.
Use finger.

Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 04/05/12 at 09:02 PM ET

Use three fingers and shock the world.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 11:05 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

You know, I can’t believe there isn’t anyone in the NHL with the last name of “Rice.”

Posted by RedMenace from the darkest recesses on 04/05/12 at 09:02 PM ET

However, there was one as recently as 1997-1998:
http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php?pid=4546

Word.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/05/12 at 11:05 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Stop rhyming now, I mean it!

Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 04/05/12 at 09:02 PM ET

Anybody want a peanut?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 11:05 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Use three fingers .....

He’s a monkey, not a sloth.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the prospect shuffle.... on 04/05/12 at 11:06 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Use three fingers and shock the world.

I’ve found four fingers works better in those situations.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/05/12 at 11:06 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Posted by bezukov from The Darkness with Harkness Redux on 04/05/12 at 09:05 PM ET

Isn’t that the universal sign for “Pierre is a douche canoe?”.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 11:06 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

weird night

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/05/12 at 11:07 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I’ve found four fingers works better in those situations.

Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 04/05/12 at 09:06 PM ET

Boy, you’re girlfriend sure gets around.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 11:08 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

I’ve found four fingers works better in those situations.

Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 04/05/12 at 09:06 PM ET

Goddam…. it takes four fingers to make that football happy anymore?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/05/12 at 11:09 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Anybody want a peanut?

Inconceivable!

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/05/12 at 11:09 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

The Shocker.

2 in the pink, 1 in the stink.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/05/12 at 11:10 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Goddam…. it takes four fingers to make that football happy anymore?

Five, actually.  I like to maintain an active thumb.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/05/12 at 11:10 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/05/12 at 11:10 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Five, actually.  I like to maintain an active thumb.

Live long and prosper, bitches.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/05/12 at 11:11 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Inconceivable!

Ever since my vasectomy.

Posted by calquake on 04/05/12 at 11:11 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Anybody want a peanut?

Posted by bezukov from The Darkness with Harkness Redux on 04/05/12 at 09:05 PM ET

Inconceivable!

Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 04/05/12 at 09:09 PM ET

Yeah, I thought that’s where we were headed… kudos, boys.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/05/12 at 11:12 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com