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Abel to Yzerman

The F Stands For Finger And The Finger Could Really ______ Us All

Thanks to the Emperor for covering me the last few LBs, and thanks to all 19 of you for the patience. January was a slow-moving month on America’s Favorite Carrier and I already told you what February has in store for the weak-hearted Wing fan. I warned you. I told you what kind of pain was on the horizon.

And now it’s here.  Jimmy says it could be two games but then I read it might be 4 weeks until Jimmy said it was more like two weeks he’s hoping because six weeks sucks the worst kind of ass. Seriously. We’re all dead in six weeks if that’s how long Tiberius Howard is out.  Oh, and you want to trade for a backup goalie?

Don’t bother because whoever we get isn’t gonna be good enough to do the job we need done to get what belongs to us.  Baby Jesus, that tiny tadpole of love, adores us but even he can’t guarantee or even decree a Cup if we’re down to a backup goalie some shitbag team was willing to deal in February.  So…it’s James F. Howard or bust, and I’d prefer me some Jimmy if it’s all the same to you.

Transplants. Transplants galore in Gary’s hometown of Phoenix. They’re running amok, paying outrageous sums, drinking cheap beer and laying waste to the women of Glendale, if they’re single and clean…the transplants, that is.

It’s a Live Blog bitches.

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Comments

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Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I am going to be bitchier than usual for a couple of days.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/07/12 at 12:31 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Unbelievable incompetence against teams that are young (Oils), struggling for points (Yotes), or playing for pride (Isles).

But oh how great we are against the better competition.

Bag skate?  Not with this group.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 02/07/12 at 12:31 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Change better be a coming. Me no likey this lack of effort.

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/06/12 at 10:29 PM ET

The heart transplant deadline is February 27th.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 02/07/12 at 12:32 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

looks like your son is a game wrecker after all, Kate

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 02/06/12 at 10:30 PM ET

I’m not for sure he is at the game, but I will find out.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/07/12 at 12:33 AM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

G’night biotches.  At least my day before this was good.

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 02/07/12 at 12:33 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Nite bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/07/12 at 12:34 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

To think I missed It’s Always Sunny for this shit.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/07/12 at 12:36 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Haven’t read one single post in the LB, missed half the game, but from what I saw…

Does anyone on this g**da**ed team give a flying f***?

All they f***ing needed was ONE f***ing person to get pissed off and score a f***ing goal. Yzerman did that. Shanahan did that. Even f***ing Federov would do that.

I’m sorry, but this all stems from Lidstrom being the Captain. He’s cool, calm, collective. Never gets pissed. Never gets down. The fire is burning inside for sure, but he needs to show it. Needs to kick some ass in that locker room, and he will never do it.

I know this is totally out of left field but Abby deserves an A next year. Maybe that’ll be enough to get some passion back in that locker room.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 02/07/12 at 12:36 AM ET

SYF's avatar

I can’t wait to hear the excuses coming out of the Wings’ dressing room.

Oh wait we know:

“I thought they had better jump than we did. I don’t think we came out with as much energy. It took us a couple of periods to get going.”

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 02/07/12 at 12:37 AM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

What an appropriate title for tonight’s LB. This game was as fun as a finger up the poopshoot for a prostate exam. Bag skate em until the glass steams up or they puke. Whichever comes last.
Another shifty night to another shifty day.
Good day 19.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 02/07/12 at 12:38 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Does anyone on this g**da**ed team give a flying f***?

Sadly everything we saw indicates the answer to that is a resounding “NO!”

All they f***ing needed was ONE f***ing person to get pissed off and score a f***ing goal. Yzerman did that. Shanahan did that. Even f***ing Federov would do that.

I’ll say it again, the heart transplant deadline is Feb. 27th and this team desperately needs some of that.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 02/07/12 at 12:41 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

To me, this is certain…  LIDSTROM IS RETIRING AFTER THIS SEASON.  Being the Perfect Human that he is, he won’t tell anyone so that the media leave the team alone to play.
I’m going to go ahead and vomit continuously for the rest of the game just because I wrote that.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/06/12 at 10:21 PM ET

And if I swallow anything evil, put your finger down my throat. If I shiver please give me a blanket. Keep me warm let me wear your coat.

After you finish with my finger give it back so I can use it.  We used to have a term in here for vomiting.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/07/12 at 12:42 AM ET

SYF's avatar

I usually like to stay on and read George’s post-game blog.  Forgive me, George, but I’m so pissed…off…right now.

Oils on Wednesday.  Schmucks on Friday (probable 1,000th career game for Homer).  Flyers on Sunday. 

There goes our home record in one weekend.

Night, 19.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 02/07/12 at 12:42 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

I hope George’s post-game consists of this-

“*#$%@& them.”

All that’s needed to be said.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 02/07/12 at 12:43 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

I guess we can take some consolation from the losses in Edmonton and Phoenix.  I’m pretty sure the Wings would crush their nuts at broomball.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 02/07/12 at 12:45 AM ET

RWBill's avatar


To think I missed It’s Always Sunny for this shit.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/06/12 at 10:36 PM ET

I recorded it on Comedy Channel.  I see it’s the first episode I ever saw. “CharDee MacDennis, The Game of Games.”

So I’ve got something to look forward to.  I can appreciate it this time more now that I know the characters.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/07/12 at 12:48 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

I’ll say it again, the heart transplant deadline is Feb. 27th and this team desperately needs some of that.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 02/06/12 at 10:41 PM ET

You keep writing Shane Doan Shane Doan Shane Doan.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/07/12 at 12:50 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Holy I’m still pissed (the wife told me to go do dishes…maybe that’ll help)...pissed enough to wonder what Avery’s cap hit is and if Holland has enough dirt on Sather to make him call Avery back up?

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 02/07/12 at 12:53 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Normally when Wings fans start bitching about the team I try to tell them to back off and gain perspective.  Even though the Wings have now, what, 9 out of 12 wins and 3 wins for every 1 loss this season, I say have at it tonight.  The last 2 losses were against teams that we should sweep in a playoff environment and in the regular season should just plain abuse.

Disappointing, and with pretty good back up goaltending wasted.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/07/12 at 12:57 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

I’m now too depressed and flacid to masturbate.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/07/12 at 01:00 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

And if I swallow anything evil, put your finger down my throat. If I shiver please give me a blanket. Keep me warm let me wear your coat.


Change the subject:

What’s the source of the above quote?

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/07/12 at 01:04 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

What’s this “rational thought incorporating logic” stuff?

Bill, you mean you don’t recognize The Who?

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 02/07/12 at 01:15 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

What’s the source of the above quote?

Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 02/06/12 at 11:04 PM ET


The Who. Or it an attempt at levity?

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/07/12 at 01:18 AM ET

dougie's avatar

The Wings have inspired me. Well, kinda reverse-inspired.

Some days you win, some days you lose.

If I happen to lose today, I am resolved to
AT LEAST LOOK GOOD DOING IT. GODDAMMIT.

Posted by dougie on 02/07/12 at 08:52 AM ET

42jeff's avatar

I think Lidstrom’s complete lack of effort doing anything at ALL to prevent that last goal sums it up nicely : “Oh fuch it”

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/07/12 at 10:35 AM ET

Primis's avatar

Last night was infuriating.

It wasn’t really effort by most of the team (it wasn’t STELLAR, but they didn’t seem necessarily lazy either), and it’s wasn’t Joey (who played quite well I thought).

The damn team can’t score.  They won’t take good shots (and even pass up on good ones).  They just plain have forgotten how to score, and it’s maddening.

Hudler…. Hudler has this thing where he has a wide-open net, and so he hesitates to set up a shot and by then the goalie gets back or he misses the net entirely.  I believe he did that TWICE last night,  You know how many goals Hudler could score in one season if he could just one-time a shot for once in his life?

I forget who it was in the 3rd that got the puck in PHX’s end along the near boards with space, moved in, had a GREAT chance and angle…. and instead just kept going in until they passed the circle and the angle was then too great (and consequently never even got a shot off).  That one play sums up the Wings right now more perfectly than anything else..

Look, I can’t bang them for effort really, and I can’t bang on them defensively really with Stuart being out, it was a 2-1 road game basically.  I CAN and will bang on them for not scoring, and not giving themselves good chances.  Giving up 2 on the road?  Not a crime and still very winnable.  Scoring only 1?  Absolutely a crime, and never winnable.


I still disagree with the Zetterberg defenders.  He’s not doing enough, and I don’t just mean numbers and scoring.  He’s still not doing the little things like finishing checks, or taking difficult shots, or making that extra 5% effort after loose pucks.  When Hudler does these things we ride him mercilessly.  Why does Z get a pass?  Quite frankly, Hudler is still outplaying him in every facet of the game after faceoffs.  There’s some serious problem there, and I’m actually beginning to wonder if there aren’t problems between Z and the coaches.  Z seems to have just checked out. plain and simple.

Please be back Stuart, soon.  We can’t ice a d corps of Error 52, Commie 22, and Kindl and expect to succeed longterm, even when Jimmy is back in net.  That’s some scary stuff…

Posted by Primis on 02/07/12 at 11:02 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

The Wings need a forward who wants to shoot the puck on the power play. Someone who is greedy for goals.

Posted by From The Hockey Wastelands from Cleveland on 02/07/12 at 12:56 AM ET

I think, more than anything, DET need a power forward who’s sole mission on skates is to take the puck to the net.

Good God, I’ve never seen so many back passes to the point.  It is so maddeningly predictable.

Work your ass off to get the puck down low, then throw the fuching thing back to the blue line.

Is it any wonder DET face so many odd man rushes!

FUCHABUNCHASHIT

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/07/12 at 11:17 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Ohh and another thing,

18 of the remaining 28 games at home.

Better put in a shitload of fuching work on the inappropriately named special teams,  what a fuching disaster.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/07/12 at 11:35 AM ET

Primis's avatar

Good God, I’ve never seen so many back passes to the point.  It is so maddeningly predictable.

Work your ass off to get the puck down low, then throw the fuching thing back to the blue line.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/07/12 at 09:17 AM ET


Yes, yes *nod. nod*.

I’d like to see Babcock for one game threaten to bench any defenseman (Lidstrom included) that takes a shot out from the point (I won’t count when Lids and Kronwall skate up to in-between the circles for a pass then shoot, because that tends to be good stuff).

I really think Blashill is the PP Problem.  He was the one that brought that weird fake-point-shot with him from Western, and if you’ve watches Western play at all the past two seasons (even now under a new head coach, because they kept the assistants) they love them some point shot (they even scored a goal using that fake point shot earlier this season).  I don’t know that Blashill’s PP ideas translate to the NHL.  He doesn’t seem to have adjusted.

Posted by Primis on 02/07/12 at 11:45 AM ET

Nate A's avatar

forward who’s sole mission on skates is to take the puck to the net.

I’d say bring back Nyquist, cause that’s all he does on the ice with or without the puck (and I mean that as a compliment), but he’d only get 4th line minutes. And as much as we love those grinder guys and the work they do, that’s not where the net crashing is needed.

The final power play was a dramatic improvement.  The zone entry had speed. There were forwards going to the middle of the ice. The puck was being worked deep before coming to the point for a shot. There were redirections in the high slot.  There’s some room for hope there, but it’s been awfully easy to lapse into bad habits this year.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 02/07/12 at 11:48 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Good God, I’ve never seen so many back passes to the point.  It is so maddeningly predictable.

Work your ass off to get the puck down low, then throw the fuching thing back to the blue line.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/07/12 at 09:17 AM ET

Yes, yes and more yes.  I’ve been saying this about the power play for some time, to the point where I’d almost like to see Nick Lidstrom and Homer not play on the power play and see what happens.  But it does seem like most of the veteran Wings tend to fall back on old habits - think Z going around behind the net EVERY TIME he has the puck - and the other teams clearly have that shit figured out.  And that damned cuteness, like Hudler charging in and, instead of shooting, back passing right to a Yotes player.

I said this on George’s blog, but I think the Wings get rattled whenever Jimmy is not playing and, based on Ty Conklin’s outings, maybe understandably so.  But JoeyMac is doing fine so the Wings just need to relax, refocus and play a more relentless offensive game.  If the back up goaltender situation doesn’t resolve, that’s Holland’s problem to fix, right?  The Wings can’t play every game 90% in our defensive zone, just because Jimmy’s not playing.

All that said, look at where this team is compared to where they were last year at this time.  No reason to throw them under the bus.  Lots of home games - and practice time - coming up to work on the special teams.

LGRW!!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 02/07/12 at 12:08 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

  Z seems to have just checked out. plain and simple.

For most of this season, Z has been a major disappointment. And Mule is useless. He is doing less than nothing for a guy with his size, and talent, and huge paycheck.

Hell, Homer was looking like Dangle a couple of times last nite, and it was Dangle that missed the open net in the 3rd.

J-Mac is doing better than Conk so stick with him. He does look a little shaky at times, but nowhere near as bad as the Conk.

Scotty always said, no one is untouchable, and I see the trade winds a comin. Eariler this season I said a power forward in the mold of Shanny.  Make it happen, Tick-Tock.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/07/12 at 12:59 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Eariler=Earlier

Also, I think Z looks fat and out of shape. I said that in the beginning of the season,and, I am sure I will get a rash of sh!t from some of the 19, but, I don’t care.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/07/12 at 01:06 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

And Mule is useless. He is doing less than nothing for a guy with his size, and talent, and huge paycheck.

Spot-on, sister.  A huge disappointment, literally.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/07/12 at 02:18 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

And Mule is useless. He is doing less than nothing for a guy with his size, and talent, and huge paycheck.

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/07/12 at 10:59 AM ET

Spot-on, sister.  A huge disappointment, literally.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/07/12 at 12:18 PM ET

Mule is Roger Dorn on skates. Ole!

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 02/07/12 at 02:29 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

No no, I knew it was The Who, that’s why I asked.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/07/12 at 03:20 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I really think Blashill is the PP Problem. He was the one that brought that weird fake-point-shot

You’re not talking about what Lidstrom has done for years, are you?

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/07/12 at 03:28 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Quite a few of us have questioned the make up/heart ‘n’ soul of this team in the post Stevie era. It’s painfully still missing in general. My kiddo’s little league team had more jam than this roster.
Yeah yeah, we’ve piled up a decent record the last dozen games… but look at how those W’s have been coming. Squeaking by…. blowing leads, not starting on time and having to fight back into games, skills comp wins & not putting 1/2 ass teams in their place. Jimmy may have been the difference maker last night, maybe not. He sure would have been an improvement in the game against the Oil… he’s been our saviour this season, but he can’t play every game on the schedule.
This team very much looks like it’s gonna get bounced in the first 2 rounds yet again.
I was trying to remain optimistic that the new coaching staff would settle in by now, but the total lack of any competence on the special teams is frightening. No PP what-so-ever & a flacid PK is a recipe for disaster.
I’m pretty sure a couple of FA additions at the deadline aren’t going to make THAT much of a difference.It’s gonna be more like putting a band aid on something that needs stitches. Something’s broken & it’s not just the bodies on the ice.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 02/07/12 at 03:38 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Why does Zetterberg play more minutes than any other forward?

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/07/12 at 09:50 PM ET

Primis's avatar

You’re not talking about what Lidstrom has done for years, are you?

Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 02/07/12 at 01:28 PM ET

No, I’m talking about the play where they go 3-deep out at the blue line, puck on one side, and they pass it across towards the middle guy and he has the option to one-time it or let it through him for the other d-man to shoot it instead while still acting like he’s going to shoot.

That’s a Blashill thing.  They haven’t tried it since earlier in the season (mostly because it didn’t work, nor did anyone seem thrown off by it).

MO, I’m very pessimistic still about this team.  The fact they are in 1st overall isn’t so much a tribute to them as it is to several other teams sucking even worse.  These Wings have nothing in common with Wings teams of the past that have had playoff success.  They DO absolutely remind me of the team that Edmonton bumped in the first round, right on down to the insistence on blasting point shots whether they’re working or not.

Posted by Primis on 02/08/12 at 09:14 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com